Think about someone whom you really admire. Consider their character traits and their mannerisms. Think about their speech patterns and the way they dress etc.
What are the words that come to mind?
The person I’m thinking about is relaxed, yet remarkably on top of things. They are always positive and candidly hilarious. They’re an eclectic dresser, but they do it with confidence, and they totally own their style.
In a word, they’re confident.
And this probably doesn’t come as a surprise; self-confident people are often admired by others.
They tackle each day with everything they got, but they somehow manage to do it with both grace and ease. What’s more, they seem to have this magical ability to inspire others to do the same.
So what gives? Why does it feel nearly impossible to exude similar confidence? And perhaps more importantly, how can we start to do so?
Let’s begin with the first question:
Why do many of us lack self-confidence?
After thinking about this in regard to my own confidence levels, and combining that with conversations from others, I’ve discovered that the big answer is pretty straightforward.
It’s fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of disappointing others, the list goes on and on.
As Elizabeth Gilbert says, fear manages to jump in the front seat of the car and take over driving duty. In the meantime, we get banished to the backseat and completely lose control.
So what can we do about this situation? How can we put fear in the trunk of the car, reclaim the driver’s seat, and discover self-confidence along the way?
Good news! That’s what today’s post is all about.
So if you’re ready to boost your self-confidence and quiet your inner critic, you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s get started.
How to Boost Your Self Confidence
“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” – Barrie Davenport
Question Your Inner Critic
I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone to do something unfamiliar, scary, difficult, etc. my inner critic comes out full force.
She asks things like, “Seriously? Why even try?” or “How can you possibly think you’ll accomplish this?”
She doesn’t stop with questions, either. Nope, she offers blatant statements as well.
She’ll say, “They’re going to see right through you.” And “You have no idea what you’re doing.” And “Stop wasting your time; just give up now.”
Here’s the deal, the well-worn saying is true: we are our own worst critics. And this is especially true if you suffer from low self-confidence.
So what’s the answer?
Start questioning that inner voice!
Every time your critics tell you, “you’re a failure” or that “you should just give up,” really stop and question the situation. For example:
“Really? Why am I a failure? What proof is there? In fact, I’ve managed to do X, Y, and Z all by 11:00 this morning, so I’d say that’s quite successful.”
“Actually, I’m not wasting my time. I’ve already managed to complete X, Y, and Z, and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished with everything I have on my plate. I think I’ll stick with this and see where it goes.”
Remember, celebrate your accomplishments, recognize your hard work, and tell that inner voice to take a hike. You have a job to do.
[bctt tweet=”Peace out, inner critic. I have AMAZING work to do. #selfconfidence #selflove #success” username=”BusyBeingPaula”]
Make a List of Achievements and a List of Strengths
This practice might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, especially if focusing on your strengths is an entirely new concept. Nevertheless, I can’t stress how important it is.
Take some time to really reflect on all that you do – big or small – and write it down. Don’t worry, you don’t have to show it to anyone if you don’t want to.
That being said, do keep this list somewhere close, and look over your strengths and accomplishments on a regular (read, daily) basis
If you want to boost your self-confidence, you need to be proud of everything you do. Keeping a tangible list as a reminder is a great way to start.
Bonus – once you’re comfortable with the process, then share your list with someone you trust; let them celebrate your strengths with you.
Take Care of Yourself.
Shower regularly, brush your hair, wear clean clothes, etc.
If you want to boost your self-confidence, it’s important that you feel clean and presentable. Not surprisingly, practicing good hygiene is the #1 place to start.
In order to boost your self-confidence, you need to feel good on both the inside and the outside.
If these simple life changes aren’t quite enough, maybe it’s time for a slightly bigger shift.
Get a haircut that makes you feel powerful and strong. If you’re uncertain about what new look would suit you best, then search for ideas in magazines, online etc. (For example, I was here on TheRightHairstyles the other day, and learned all about what type of cut works best with my hair type.)
By changing up your look with a flattering cut, you’ll boost that self-confidence quickly.
Similarly, change up your wardrobe. Pull out the clothes in your closet that make you self-conscious, uncomfortable, or is simply unflattering. Box it up and donate it.
When you love the way you look, not only do you boost your self-confidence, but you also exude that confidence to others.
Note Your Body Language
Do you find yourself slouching? Is it difficult for you to make eye contact? Are you often frowning? Do you speak in a rush or find yourself mumbling? We often fall into these confidence crushing behaviors without even noticing it.
So what can you do to fix the situation? Easy!
Simply push back your shoulders, put on a smile, make eye contact when you’re speaking with people, and slow down your conversation. These subtle shifts will both boost your self-confidence and project your confidence to the world.
Practice Positive Affirmations
Here’s the deal, affirmations work. And this is true whether you’re practicing positive OR negative affirmations.
Most of us struggle with negative affirmations that loop consistently through our mind, which is thanks largely in part to that darn inner critic I mentioned above.
Because we repeat these messages so often, we start to believe them, which weakens our self-confidence.
Well, guess what, you can do the same thing with positive affirmations as well!
Yep. All you need to do is put positive, affirming statements about yourself on repeat instead.
Is this hard to do? Eh, not really.
For many of us, it certainly feels uncomfortable at first. And this is especially true if you practice saying your affirmations out loud. (This technique has proven to be more effective than simply thinking them in your mind.)
But the more you practice, the easier it gets, and the more wholeheartedly you embrace these positive beliefs.
So as you create your affirmations and begin the process of repeating them every day, keep these four tips in mind:
- State your affirmations in the present tense. This commands your mind to believe them in the here and now.
- Try as hard as you can to truly believe these affirmations. It might not come easily at first, but don’t give up.
- Remember, affirmations don’t need to be your present reality. In fact, many people argue that affirmations become true; that’s what makes them so powerful.
- Repeat them every day – multiple times a day, if necessary.
Looking for some ideas for positive affirmations? You got it! Click here for a list of 40 affirmations. Choose the ones that speak directly to your situation and repeat them daily.
Put them on post-it notes and stick them around your home. Paint them on a canvas and hang them on your wall. Do whatever it takes to keep these positive messages flowing into your mind at all times.
The sooner you embrace these truths, the sooner you’ll take on the world with confidence.
How do you boost your self-confidence? Does fear ever hold you back? What do you do to push fear to the backseat and take back control? Let me know below!