Taking Small Steps To Escape All-or-Nothing Thinking

Let’s talk about the power of small steps for a minute.  Not the giant leaps or the all-out efforts, but the little actions that seem almost invisible—the ones your brain might dismiss as “too small to matter.” 

Here’s the truth: doing something, even the smallest thing, is infinitely better than doing nothing. 

Whether it’s clearing one counter, responding to one email, or taking a five-minute walk, these small steps have the ability to spark momentum, build confidence, and reshape how you see yourself.

In episode 290 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we dive deep into this topic. 

Tune in now and discover how embracing even the tiniest step forward can help you break free from overwhelm and build habits that stick.

Are you ready to challenge the “what’s the point?” mentality? 

Let’s do this!

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app. Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 290, You Will Discover:

1. Why all-or-nothing thinking feels so convincing—and how small steps can help you break free from it.
2. How tiny actions spark momentum, build confidence, and help redefine the way you see yourself.
3. Simple, practical strategies to embrace small steps and make habits stick—no matter how busy life gets.

Episode 290: Taking Small Steps To Escape All-or-Nothing Thinking (Transcript)

We’re a couple of weeks into February, which means it’s been about a month since we had our group coaching call and deep dive into Good Better Best goals, which happened on January 16. One month ago.

What does your brain do with that information? Mine gets all squirmy because time is just so intangible, isn’t it? It seems both like yesterday and like years ago all at once. 

But with that in mind, I wanted to check in with you on how things are going.

How is that goal or habit unfolding?

Now, if you didn’t hear that call or you decided not to set a goal or a habit at the beginning of the year, or you can’t remember what the goal was that you said, don’t worry. I’ve got you. Don’t skip to the next episode.

What we’re going to talk about today absolutely still applies – perhaps even more so. But for those of you who did set some sort of habit or goal or routine for the new year, how is it going?

My first goal was to make more time to physically read a book OR journal each day. And to not skip more than one day in a row.

My good better best was 5 minutes, 15 minutes, and 30 minutes.  It’s been going pretty well for me so far, though I’m surprised that I am leaning toward reading more often than journaling. I thought it would be more of a 50/50 split.

Perhaps it’s because I’m also taking notes while reading, so I’m kind of processing ideas and thoughts in an almost journaling way while reading. But that is something I’ve noticed that surprised me a bit. I thought I’d be reaching for the journal a little more often.

It’s been so fun to read. It’s really reignited my love of reading, which I forgot about for quite a while. I’ve always loved reading via audiobooks. I hadn’t forgotten that part. But I had forgotten about the delight of curling up on the couch with Bruno and a cozy blanket and simply reading.

It’s been fun to rediscover that-if only in 5 minute increments some days.

What about you?

Perhaps you…

• Have a course you’re launching, and you’ve been working one step at a time toward creating the content.
• Are working toward getting to work with a couple of minutes to spare so it doesn’t feel so rushed and frantic in the morning.
• Have a larger Financial goal, and your first step is eating at home for dinner or packing a lunch for work a few more times each week.

For those of you who have not set a goal, a habit, or a routine yet, but as I’m talking about it, your brain is thinking of different ideas—amazing.

You can decide on your good better best goal today. What do you want that to be?

As I was thinking about this episode, I wondered why I have been able to stick with my reading goal more easily despite past attempts being much more challenging. What was different? 

I realized that when I used to set these big resolutions, goals, and habits years ago, in addition to trying to set far too many all at once, I would only set one version of the goal. And that version was essentially my best all-out version. 

Introducing The Good, Better, Best Framework

The good better best framework is choosing one goal and creating three different variations on it.

Good

being aversion that you know you can do no matter what, even on your low capacity days. It’s one that you sat that seems so laughable that your brain thinks, “That can’t possibly count.” That’s your good version.

Better

Then, we have the better goal, which challenges you a bit. It stretches you a bit. But it’s doable even on a busy Tuesday night.

Best

The best version is the one that stretches you even further. It may seem perfectly reasonable when you’re first setting it, and the dopamine and novelty are running high, but unless you’re at full capacity and well rested, it’s probably not the one you’ll pick. It’s there for when you really want to go all in.

As I said, when I used to set goals and resolutions, I would only set the best version. I wouldn’t build in the good or the better. In short, I set myself up to fail.

I think the real reason why I’ve had so much more luck sticking with habits and routines and goals over the past several years is that I allow myself to have the good version of the goal. That small minimum Baseline that my brain naturally wouldn’t “count.”  for years I would think to myself, that’s not enough.

What’s the point in even doing it if it’s just that little amount?

That’s what I want to talk about today. Because “the point” in doing that little amount is everything and is what allows me to keep showing up doing that little amount or more regularly.

It helps me get out of the all-or-nothing perfectionist thinking and create the repetition required to help me stick to that new habit or behavior for the long run.

In fact, what I really want to stress today – the message I want to drive home – is when it comes to setting goals and habits and routines, doing something is infinitely better than doing nothing. Hands down. Every time.

Doing something is infinitely better than doing nothing — despite all the protests your brain will offer to the contrary.

The Power of Taking Small Steps

So today, we’re talking about the power of taking even the smallest action—why doing something is infinitely more impactful than doing nothing.

We’re exploring:

• Why this concept works
• How taking small steps can help us break free from all-or-nothing thinking
• How we can start taking those small steps forward today

So if you’re ready to shake off the “what’s the point?” mentality.  If you’re ready to see how using the “good” version of the habit or practicing the concept of the minimum baseline truly is effective—the catalyst— for lasting change, you’re in the right place. Let’s get into it.

Why We Fall Into All-or-Nothing Thinking

At its core, all-or-nothing thinking is the belief that if we can’t do something perfectly or completely, it’s not worth doing.

It’s that little voice in our heads that says, “Why even start if I can’t finish the whole thing? What’s the point if I’m just going to mess it up?”

For those of us with ADHD, this mindset can be especially sticky because of how our brains work. One big reason? Cognitive flexibility.

The Challenge of Cognitive Flexibility

Cognitive flexibility is our ability to shift perspectives, adapt to new situations, or change our plans when things don’t go as expected. And for a lot of ADHD brains, this can be a real challenge.

We get stuck in that inflexible thinking where, if we can’t see a clear way to do something perfectly—or we’re not sure how to adjust when plans change—it feels like the entire thing is doomed. It’s like our brains shut down to the idea of “good enough.”

When that happens, all-or-nothing thinking swoops in and tells us, “If it’s not going to be perfect, why bother?”

Now, let’s add another layer to this: overwhelm.

For ADHD brains, big goals and projects often seem insurmountable because we struggle with breaking them down into smaller steps. So it’s like we’re staring at the entire mountain instead of the first few steps on the trail.

And when we’re overwhelmed, our brains tend to freeze. Instead of breaking things down into smaller pieces, or remembering, we can go to ChatGPT or goblin.tools to help us do that, we instead slip into a stress response. 

That overwhelm tells us, “This is impossible. There’s no way to do it all, so let’s just avoid it altogether.” So we might avoid it entirely, or procrastiwork instead, or focus on someone else and helping them doing something.

Essentially, anything to help us sidestep the big project our brain is worried about.

Perfectionist Tendencies

Then there’s perfectionism. This is the part of our brains that whispers, “If I can’t get it exactly right, then what’s the point?”

It convinces us that starting small or doing it imperfectly somehow doesn’t count.

And listen—perfectionism is sneaky. It can dress itself up as “high standards” or “doing it right,” but really, it’s just another way our brains protect us from the discomfort of not getting it perfect on the first try.

For me, it could look like, what’s the point in just reading for 5 minutes? You can’t even get through a chapter in 5 minutes. Why don’t we wait until you have at least 30 minutes you can get through a chapter or two. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Time Blindness

And let’s not forget time blindness. This one’s a biggie for ADHD brains. Time blindness makes it hard for us to see the value of small actions because we underestimate how much those little steps can add up over time.

Our brains love to think, “If I can’t finish the whole thing right now, I might as well not bother.” Plus, doing it all now will take forever, and I just don’t have that time.

Here’s what I want to emphasize: this all-or-nothing thinking isn’t about laziness or a lack of discipline. It’s how our brains process priorities, effort, and time. It’s how our executive functions work—or sometimes, don’t work.

Here’s the good news…

Understanding why this happens is the first step to recognizing it and realizing we can challenge it. That it’s not always super helpful.

When we recognize these patterns—whether it’s cognitive inflexiblity, overwhelm, perfectionism, or time blindness—we can start making shifts.

We can learn to meet our brains where they are instead of fighting against them.

The Power of Taking Small Steps: Snowball Effect

The main message I want to repeat and drive home and really encourage you to consider, is doing something is infinitely more impactful than doing nothing.

So let’s talk about the magic of “something.”

Here’s the truth: Small steps aren’t “less than.” They’re not insignificant. They’re the building blocks of momentum. We can’t overlook small steps because they’re the catalyst for the snowball effect. 

Think about it like this… When we take even the tiniest step forward, we create movement. And movement—no matter how small—has a way of snowballing into bigger progress. It’s like giving ourselves a nudge to get unstuck, and that little nudge can make all the difference.

For example, let’s think about cleaning, decluttering, and organizing.

This is where it’s easy for my brain to go into all-or-nothing thinking. I think to myself, if I can’t do all the decluttering or organizing right now, I’ll wait. I might as well wait until I can get it all done because otherwise, things will just get disorganized again.

But when I pause and notice that and question that, I realize it’s actually not true.

For example, let’s think about counter space in the kitchen. I don’t know about you, but there’s something about having an empty flat surfac,e whether it’s the kitchen table or the kitchen island or the countertop below the mugs. There’s something about having one space that looks as you want it to.

I know for myself, when that surface is clear, I’m much less likely to pile things on it. No mail, no random papers, no stray coffee mugs. But—if even one envelope lands on that counter? Forget it.

Suddenly, the entire surface becomes a magnet for clutter. I mean, clutter attracts clutter, right?

So here’s the thing:  Deciding to clear off one counter can actually be incredibly impactful for me. Even if my brain says, but you need to do the whole kitchen at least. Surely you can’t just stop at the countertop. No, that’s not true. In fact, I can just stop at the countertop.

That can make an incredibly powerful difference.

That one clear surface creates a visual reminder of progress. It’s a starting place. And it makes it easier to keep that area clear moving forward, which can lead to clearing the next spot, and the next, as my time and capacity allow.

It’s all about aggregate thinking

These tiny actions? They add up. Even when it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

Clearing one counter might not seem like a big deal, but over time, it changes how I interact with my space. 

Or maybe you’re resisting writing. Writing one sentence might feel like nothing, but string those sentences together, and you’ve got a paragraph. Clearing one email from your inbox? It’s one less you have to deal with later. 

So often, we underestimate the power of small steps because we’re so focused on the big picture. But here’s the truth: the big picture is made up of small steps. Each one is required to get where we want to go. And again—doing something is infinitely more impactful than doing nothing. 

Now here’s the thing—momentum doesn’t just create progress. It also helps us reshape how we see ourselves. And that’s where the real magic happens.

How to Take Small Steps: Shaping Your Identity

Here’s what I mean by that.

Let’s say you want to build a habit of walking regularly. Now, if you’re anything like I was—you might begin by setting some big, lofty goal like walking for an hour at least five times a week.  

Your brain probably says, I’m not being outrageous. This is reasonable. I’m not making it 1 hour every day. I’m making it 5 days. Look at all that flexibility!

This is true. But also, if I haven’t walked regularly in months and months, going from no walking to 5 hours of walking per week is a big jump. And when life inevitably happens, and we can’t hit that target, it’s easy to tell ourselves we’ve failed.

We tell ourselves things like, “I guess I’m just not someone who exercises.” And boom—there’s that all-or-nothing thinking again.

What if, instead of setting that big goal, we started small? What if we decided to walk for five minutes around the office after lunch? That’s it. Five minutes.

Here’s the magic of this approach: By taking that small, regular action, you start showing yourself that you are someone who walks. You’re not arguing with your brain about whether it “counts” or whether it’s “enough.” You ARE walking.

You’re walking most days for five minutes after lunch. Period. Your brain can’t argue with that.

When you adopt the belief that you’re a walker, it becomes easier to build on that identity.  You are a walker. That’s just what you do. On some days, that five-minute walk might grow into 10 minutes, or you might decide to take a longer stroll on the weekends. other days 5 minutes will be enough. Regardless of the time, you’re a walker. And it all starts with that small step that aligns with the person you want to become.

The same is true with my reading example I mentioned earlier.

Instead of committing to something huge like an hour of reading or journaling every night, I gave myself flexible targets: 5 minutes, 15 minutes, or 30 minutes.

Some days, I hit five minutes. Some days, I read for half an hour. Some days I do 15 minutes of both reading and journaling. But every time I pick up a book or my journal—even for those five minutes—I’m reinforcing the belief that I’m a reader. I’m a journaler. And because of that, I don’t get stuck in the all-or-nothing trap.

This approach works because it’s not about the size of the action. It’s about showing up. Every small step you take is casting a vote for the identity you want to adopt.

Whether it’s walking for five minutes or reading a page in a book, you’re reinforcing the identity that you’re a walker, a reader, or whatever identity you’re working toward.

And when you believe that about yourself, it’s so much easier to keep going. Small steps create momentum, but they also create self-trust. They remind you that you’re capable of showing up, even in the tiniest ways.

So, if you’ve been struggling to stick with a goal or a habit because it feels too big or overwhelming, ask yourself this: What’s the smallest version of this habit I can do today? What’s one step I can take to start adopting the identity I want?

When you start believing that you are a walker, or a reader, or someone who can get through their inbox, it builds confidence.

And once you have confidence in one area, it’s often much more likely to spill into other areas of life because your brain starts thinking things like, “well, I was able to do it in this area, why not over here, too?” 

Why Doing Nothing Seems ‘Easier’ but Costs More

Alright, let’s talk about why doing nothing can feel so tempting in the moment.

Here’s the thing: when we’re staring down a big task—or even a small one that seems like a lot—avoiding it seems easier. It’s a way to protect ourselves from discomfort. Because starting can be uncomfortable, right? There’s that mental hurdle of “Where do I even begin?” or the fear of not doing it “right.”

Here’s the tricky part: “Later” doesn’t make the task disappear. In fact, it often makes things harder.

The Cost of Waiting

When we avoid starting, we don’t just avoid the task—we  Tend to make that task even heavier-even more costly. It costs us in time, energy, mental space, And sometimes literally in our finances.

I know when I put something off, it doesn’t just sit quietly in the background. It nags at me. It lingers in the back of my mind as this constant open loop, creating unnecessary additional stress and sometimes guilt depending on the task and what I’m thinking about, and that constant open loop drains our energy.

What’s more, these open loops often create a ripple effect. They pile up, creating even more for a brain to catalog and slip into overwhelm, which makes it harder to start the next thing. And all of this can cost us opportunities.

Opportunities to grow, to make progress, or even to find joy in what we’re doing.

Challenging the “What’s the Point?” Mentality

So if your brain starts thinking, “What’s the point?” What’s the point of 5 minutes? What’s the point of just one email? What’s the point of just 1 stretch? Let’s answer that. What IS the point? Because I promise you it’s there.

The point is  That you want to do this. It’s important to you. And even if your brain catalogs it as small, you want to give it a try. Each time you do, you start building up that sense of self-trust that you do the things that matter to you. 

That’s huge.

Every time you take that small step, you reinforce the belief that you can stick to the plan or handle things, even when they feel hard or overwhelming. And that belief is what helps you move forward, even when the big picture seems like too much.

Reframing the Easier Choice

So while avoiding action can feel easier in the moment, what I’ve found to be true is starting small is easier in the long run. Taking those two minutes to start might feel uncomfortable in the moment, but it saves you from days, weeks, or months of the open loops on the other side. 

So I’d invite you to consider, what’s one small thing you can start today? Maybe it’s clearing one email, or returning to the good better best goals you wrote down last month and refining them so the good truly is a minimum baseline.

Whatever it is, give yourself permission to start small and notice how it feels to take that first step.

Because the truth is, those two minutes matter. And they’re a step toward creating the momentum and self-trust that make everything else possible.

Reframe Progress

And as you do this, here’s something I invite you to think about: What would it look like if progress meant starting, not finishing?

So often, we get caught up in the idea that progress only counts if we complete the entire task. But what if we celebrated the act of showing up instead?

For example, if your goal is to organize your digital files, progress doesn’t have to mean sorting everything into perfectly labeled folders. Progress could mean logging into your account and organizing just one file. And that’s worth celebrating because it’s moving you closer to your goal.

I encourage you to start playing with the idea of progress. Progress does not mean finishing. Progress means progress. Period. If you want to clean out your car, throwing away one Starbucks coffee cup is progress. Success.

If you did that every time you left the car? One thing? Each of those things adds up.

By reframing progress, we take the pressure off ourselves to finish everything all at once. Instead, we recognize that every small step counts.

So again, let’s return to that take-home one more time. Doing something is infinitely more impactful than doing nothing. It’s the tiny actions and those moments of effort, that create momentum, strengthen confidence and self trust, and help you move closer to your goals.

Your Challenge for This Week:

Try one “something.”

Maybe it’s writing one line of a report, washing one dish, or even just setting a timer to get started. Whatever it is, let it be small and manageable. Then, notice what shifts—both in your actions and in how you feel about them.

And I’d love to hear about it!  Let me know over on Instagram what your something is. I’m @imbusybeingawesome.  I can’t wait to hear about it.

👉 Want to learn my simple step-by-step approach to locking in a routine and making it stick, be sure to check out my free course, the ADHD Routine Revamp.

Links from the Podcast

• Learn more about private coaching
• Learn more about We’re Busy Being Awesome small group coaching
• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources here
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System here
• Get the Podcast Roadmap here
• Get the ADHD Routine Revamp here

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