Your To-Do List Feels Impossible: Try This Instead (ADHD)

You did what everyone tells an ADHD brain to do with a big project: you broke it down into steps. And instead of feeling calmer, your brain looked at the list and thought, “There is no way I can get all of that done.”

If you’re like me, that thought can send you into avoidance, panic, procrasti-working, or basically anything other than the actual project.

If you’re staring down a to-do list with way too many steps right now, here’s what’s happening, and one simple question that can help you shift out of the spiral and into action.

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app. Prefer to read? No problem. Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 376, we’re exploring:

• Why breaking a project into steps can trigger more ADHD overwhelm, not less
• The hidden assumption inside the thought “there’s no way I can get this all done”
• One simple question that interrupts the spiral and helps you move forward

Why Breaking Down a Project Can Make ADHD Overwhelm Worse

So you have a project you want to begin. Breaking it into steps was the right move. The tricky part is what happens next: your brain looks at the full list and offers some version of, “I have no idea how I’ll get this all done.”

That reaction is classic all-or-nothing thinking. For a lot of us with ADHD brains, it connects to cognitive flexibility, which is the ability to hold more than one possibility at once. When that flexibility is harder to access, there’s not much room for “maybe I could get some of it done.” What’s left can feel like two options: “yes, I can get it all done,” or “no, I cannot.”

If this pattern sounds familiar beyond project overwhelm, taking small steps to escape all-or-nothing thinking digs into it further.

The Assumption Hiding Inside “There’s No Way I Can Get This All Done”

That thought also carries a hidden assumption: “and I’m supposed to be able to get it all done now.”

That’s the part worth questioning. How much of this project do you really have to get done right now?

A lot of the time, “get it all done” is a standard we’ve handed ourselves, not a real requirement. And sometimes it truly is real, like an assignment from work or a presentation with a hard deadline. Either way, the thought “there’s no way I can get this all done” doesn’t help you do any of it. It just pours gas on the overwhelm.

How This Turns Into a Self-Fulfilling Spiral

Here’s how that plays out.

Say you’ve got a project from your boss with a real deadline. You broke it down, and your brain offers, “There is no way I can get this all done.” Now you’re discouraged, panicked, maybe frantic. You start spinning, replaying everything you “should” be doing, getting stuck on where to start, future-tripping about what will go wrong if you don’t finish.

Then the procrasti-working kicks in, and you find every task except the one in front of you.

And that’s the trap. This response makes the original thought true. When we spend our time spinning instead of taking the next step, we end up with less time to do the work.

Check In Before You Do Anything Else

When “this is so much, I don’t know how I’m gonna get it done” shows up, a check-in can help more than another plan.

First, pause and check whether you actually want to do this thing. Not a “should” you put on your list. Not something someone else voluntold you into. Just a simple question: do I want to do this?

Sometimes the answer is no, and that’s information. Maybe you can drop it, delegate it, or set it aside for later.

If the answer is yes, even if it’s a practical yes like “I want to keep my job,” that still matters. It tells your brain, “Okay, we’re choosing this.”

From there, it gets easier to stop arguing with the “there’s no way” thought and move into action.

The One Question That Stops the Spiral

Once you know you want to do this, here’s what to do with the “there’s no way” thought.

Pause, take a couple of breaths, and bring yourself back to the present moment. Then ask one question:

What can I do with the time I have now?

You don’t have to win the argument with the “there’s no way” thought first. It might even be true. This question still works, because it moves your focus off the whole overwhelming future and onto the one thing you actually have control over right now.

Your brain says, “There’s no way, I can’t get it all done.” You get to reply, “No problem. What can I do with the time I have right now?”

(Coming back to the present moment instead of spinning into the future is also at the heart of how to slow your brain down with ADHD.)

When the To-Do List Feels Endless

I was recently working with a client on mapping out all of the SOPs (standard operating procedures) their business needed. With a growing team, they wanted everyone to know exactly what to do so they could delegate more and free up time for the next stage.

We listed everything out. Once they saw the roughly 20 items on the list, their brain offered the familiar line: “Oh my gosh, there’s no way, I can’t get all this done.”

We paused, took a few breaths, and confirmed: yes, this mattered to them, and things were okay right now.

From there, they found their actual next step: go back through the SOPs they’d already started and stopped, and sort them by what needed updating, what was nearly done, and what had to be built from scratch. That one sort gave them a clear place to begin.

When You Want It Done by a Certain Date

Let’s say you’re breaking down the steps to declutter part of your space, with a date in mind for finishing. Partway through the list, the thought lands: “There’s no way I can get this all done by then.”

Take the same breaths. Do the same check-in. If you want to keep working on it today, come back to the question: what can I do with the time I have right now?

Here’s what matters: doing a portion of it still counts. The part of your brain that wanted it done in one sitting might not love hearing that, but small steps taken regularly do add up to real progress.

When the Deadline Is Real and Non-Negotiable

Some deadlines don’t bend.

Say you decided to launch a group program in two weeks instead of your usual three or four months. Your brain says, “There’s no way I can get this all done,” and looking at the full list, it’s right. The checkout page, the landing page, every email, podcast episodes, maybe a live Q&A or a webinar, social posts, Pinterest pins, and everything else a launch usually includes.

In this scenario, the most helpful move is to get specific about what actually has to happen for this to run at all.

• List every item first. Get the whole overwhelming list out of your head and onto paper.
• Sort non-negotiables from nice-to-haves. Your brain will want to treat everything on the list as required. Most of it isn’t.
• Do the non-negotiables first, then keep asking the one question. A checkout page and one announcement email can be enough to launch. From there, keep asking what you can do with the time you have right now and work down the nice-to-haves for as long as time allows.

Even when the math says you likely won’t finish everything in the time you have, staying focused on that won’t help you take the next step. Come back to the question: what can I do with the time I have?

Where to Start

Next time you break down a big project, and your brain offers some version of “there’s no way I can get this all done,” pause. Take a couple of breaths and notice you’re here right now.

Then check in. Do you actually want this on your list?

If yes, ask what you can do with the time you have now, and take that first step.

Work With Me:

• Learn more about private coaching here
• Join We’re Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
• Enroll in Overwhelm to Action – step by step course for ADHD Brains

More ADHD Resources:

• Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type – Free Quiz!
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
• Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Access the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System

Paula’s Favorite Tools

• Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
• Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
• Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
• Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
• Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.

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