How to Get Rid of the Sunday Scaries, When You Have ADHD

Have you ever felt a sense of dread on Sunday evening, knowing the workweek’s about to start?

If so, you’re not alone.

This feeling is known as the Sunday Scaries, and it’s something so many of us regularly experience.

We often find ourselves feeling…

• Anxious about the work week ahead
• Frantic about our unfinished list from last week.
• Overwhelmed and uncertain about where to start.

If any of this sounds familiar, first of all, you’re not alone.

Second of all, there’s a simple, three-step process we can put in place to sidestep those Sunday Scaries more often.

Want to learn how?

Then tune into episode 195 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast today!

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• What the Sunday Scaries are
• Why we get them
• How to reduce and get rid of the Sunday Scaries and start the week off right

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Episode #195: How to Get Rid of The Sunday Scaries with ADHD (Transcript) 

Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. How are you? Today we are talking about a topic that I think is really important and often mentioned in passing, but rarely talked about more in-depth, which is why I want to do it here. And this is the topic of the Sunday Scaries.

And if you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t really deal with this.” Or “I don’t even know what the Sunday Scaries are”; stick with me today. Because if you have a day of the week that’s especially demanding, or that you find yourself dreading, or your feel overwhelmed when you think about it, this episode is for you.

In today’s episode, we are talking about what the Sunday Scaries are, why those of us with ADHD and ADHD tendencies tend to be especially prone to this experience, and how we can support ourselves in simple ways to help keep this Sunday Scaries at bay.

And again, if you are someone who doesn’t deal with the Sunday Scaries but you do have a certain day of the week that tends to be especially busy or demanding, or you often find yourself feeling overwhelmed, the strategies we talked about today will be supportive in that situation as well.

What are the Sunday Scaries?

Or maybe you’ve heard it called the Sunday Blues?

Essentially, the Sunday Scaries are this feeling of anxiety and dread that many people report feeling on Sundays when they think about the week ahead.

People talk about it as this pit in their stomach, or this sense of heaviness and dread. And because the Sunday Scaries are often quite consuming, they can be quite draining and actually prevent you from enjoying your weekend.

And the truth is, many people experience this regularly.

LinkedIn did some research reporting that 80% of professionals experience the Sunday scaries with over 90% of millennials and Generation Z reporting that they feel it.

When they broke down the most common reasons people reported for the Sunday scaries, they found that:

• 60% of professionals worry about their workload
• 44% worry about balancing both their professional and personal projects and tasks
• 39% report thinking about the tasks they didn’t finish the previous week.
• And finally, more than one in three professionals feel the Sunday scaries every week.

These are some pretty staggering statistics. I should mention that they were taken back in 2018. The articles released since then report even higher numbers, but I couldn’t trace the research behind them, and I always like to base the information I’m sharing with you on research that’s backed up, which is why I’m quoting statistics from 2018. And I’m not saying the others studies aren’t backed up, I just couldn’t find the sources.

Again, these Sunday scaries are quite prevalent, and many people experience them due to stress or anxiety thinking about the week of work or school ahead.

The Sunday Scaries can look like fear of the unknown regarding what’s coming up or how things will unfold, or it can be driven by thoughts of not getting enough done the week before, or not getting enough done during the weekend, etcetera.

So again, this is a very human experience. Many of us navigate it. And I want to offer that as people with ADHD and ADHD tendencies, we may find that we navigate this even more often.

A Deeper Look: Reasons Behind The Sunday Scaries

First of all, let’s just think about the three main reasons why people reported experiencing the Sunday Scaries:

1. Worrying about their workload
2. Balancing their to-do lists both personally and professionally
3. Worrying about the work they didn’t complete the week before.

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say that these are likely the most common things on most of our brains most weeks.

As ADHDers, we navigate additional obstacles when it comes to time management and organization, which makes it more challenging to plan ahead for the week and know what we can realistically accomplish each day.

So when we look at all the things on our to-do list for the week ahead, we may feel a lot of uncertainty about whether we can get the things done on time, or worry about whether we can focus on the task long enough to follow through on it. Or alternatively, if we completely lose track of time and go down the rabbit hole hyper-focused on one thing to the detriment of everything else.

Similarly, if this is a recurring pattern – which it usually is – we likely have a long list of tasks we hoped to complete the week before, which didn’t happen, so we’re transferring that over to our to-do list as well.

So now we’re worrying about how on earth we’ll manage to get all of last week’s leftover tasks, not to mention this week’s tasks done. And when you combine that with the mounting list of adulting responsibilities to take care of around the house and to simply exist as a person, that sense of anxiety and dread for the week ahead quickly builds.

Now if you’re sitting here thinking, “well shoot, Paula. This is a real downer of an episode.” Don’t worry, we’re not going to stay here, nor do you have to stay stuck in this cycle of Sunday Scaries.

There are absolutely ways we can support ourselves through it. But I also think it’s important to explain why this experience may feel especially prevalent for you. And if it does, I want you to know it’s not just you – in fact, according to LinkedIn, it’s a whole lot of humans.

So let’s talk about it. What can we do here?

What Specifically Is Causing Your Sunday Scaries?

First up, we want to figure out what specifically is causing our Sunday Scaries.

Now your brain may have just done a serious eye roll thinking, “duh – work tomorrow.” And on the surface, that may be true. But I actually want you to explore it a bit further to figure out what the actual problem is.

Because remember, it’s not our job that’s causing our feelings of anxiety or stress, or dread. It’s the stories we’re telling ourselves about that job. It’s the thoughts our brain is offering up – often to the same level of intensity as a movie trailer for some thriller movie.

So what are the things your brain is most worried about?

Get a notebook and write it down.

Get all those swirling worries and tasks and what ifs out of your head and onto paper.

You can ask yourself:

• What feels most stressful right now?
• What am I worried might happen at work on Monday?
• What am I telling myself I “should” have done already?

What Is The Worst Case Scenario?

Once you get out all of those what-ifs and fears, then ask yourself – what is the worst-case scenario and how would I handle it? Don’t skip the last part of that question; it’s important.

You want to show your brain you have ways of navigating whatever that worst-case scenario is on Monday morning (or whatever day you’re thinking about).

This is so important and one of the things I often do for myself and with my clients, too.

Knowing how you’d respond to your worst-case scenario helps you ground yourself in a sense of certainty and clarity, knowing you can handle whatever comes your way.

Once you’re feeling more grounded, we can then find ways to simplify and make life just a little bit easier for ourselves.

I want to highlight that these strategies we’re talking about next can be super effective whether you’re navigating the Sunday Scaries or you consistently have a really busy Thursday that leaves you feeling totally wiped out.

If you’re anything like me, on days when you’re feeling drained, or you’re experiencing a lot of emotion, having a little extra support and removing any unnecessary demand on our executive functions can make a big difference.

How To Deal With (And Even Get Rid of) The Sunday Scaries

I’m going to share some different ways we can do this today, and make note of how your brain responds.

Take notice…

• If some ideas sound particularly useful.
• Strategies you have immediate resistance to.
• If your brain thinks “I have to do all of them; otherwise, it’s not useful.”
• If perfectionism is sneaking in

Then gently remind your brain that choosing just one of the strategies is better than none of the strategies.

Be willing to try out different approaches to see what works and make adjustments so they support your brain. Play around until you find the level of support that feels best for you. OK? Let’s dive in.

1. Simplification & Automation

The first area I invite you to explore is simplification and automation.

Think about the day ahead. Again, whether it’s the Sunday scaries and you’re dreading Monday or it’s the regularly jam-packed Thursday where you work all day and somehow your two kids have 43 different sports practices after school, and you need to be in all places at once.

As you think about your day, ask yourself:

• When am I making decisions?
• What parts of this day regularly seem draining?
• What do I dread?
• At what time of day do I usually want to throw my hands in the air, call it quits, and lock myself in my bedroom, so I don’t have to talk to anybody else?

With ZERO judgment and utmost compassion, start identifying these areas.

From there, ask yourself:

• How can I simplify this situation or how can I automate this decision?

For example, maybe you have a super jam-packed Thursday as I mentioned before. And perhaps one of the decisions that takes more of your executive functioning than you’d prefer right at the start of the day is what to wear.

If this is the case for you, maybe you decide on a certain uniform that you wear every Thursday. That way, you do not need to waste your brain power on a decision.

Instead, you simply know that on Thursdays in the winter, you always wear your blue sweater and your favorite pair of pants. Done. Decision made. Or maybe you have two shirts that you cycle between every other week depending on what’s clean. And you do the same thing in the summer months.

I think this would be especially awesome for people who navigate the Sunday scaries. You could have your favorite outfit that you love wearing and feel super confident when you wear it. And you know that you’re going to rock it every Monday. That’s so fun.

Or maybe after a long day, the last thing you want to think about is dinner. You want to pull out your hair because by the time dinner rolls around, you’re hungry, everyone else is hungry, and you can’t force your brain to make another decision.

In situations like this, how can we make it easier?

Maybe you decided that every Monday night is pasta. Or every Monday night is grilled cheese and tomato soup. Or perhaps you decide that Monday is pizza night, and you order from your favorite restaurant. It’s dependable, everybody loves it, and it’s one less thing that you need to worry about.

Decision made. Then when anybody asks, it’s an easy answer. It’s Monday. It’s pizza night. Or it’s Monday, it’s grilled cheese and tomato soup.

So again, I encourage you to think about the things that you find yourself dreading or spinning on.

What are the things that take up so much energy, especially on the days when you’re already surfing a lot of emotion? And how can you simplify it? Or how can you automate it? What are some simple decisions that you can make ahead of time to take care of future you?

What if these suggestions that I made sound too restrictive for your brain?

If you’re thinking, oh my gosh there’s no way I would choose a uniform for a certain day of the week.

Or there’s no way I could eat pizza every Monday night.

No problem.

That may not be the area that you want to simplify or automate.

When I think of automating those areas, it feels like a huge relief period it doesn’t feel like restriction, it feels freeing. And it feels freeing, because I’m thinking to myself, “that’s one less thing I have to focus on. One less decision I have to make. It’s attention that I get to focus elsewhere. And that feels awesome.

But again, if it feels restrictive to you, explore what other areas might benefit from these decisions ahead of time.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Now I also encourage you to think about setting realistic expectations for yourself on these days.

Whether it’s the Sunday Scaries or your jam-packed Thursday, make space to be intentional about your time and the expectations you have for yourself in how you spend that time.

Once you’ve completed your thought download on Sunday about all the things you’re worried about and all the things you want to complete the following week, perhaps you make some time to plan for the week ahead.

You show your brain where you’re going to tend to the different tasks on that list. As you do this, I encourage you to set realistic expectations. This is especially true for Monday.

Don’t tell yourself you’re going to complete your entire to-do list and solve for world hunger by the end of the work day. This is just not realistic even though we genuinely think we can do it.

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If it’s challenging to prioritize what’s most important and identify how much time you actually need to work on these projects, let’s talk. This is literally what I do with my clients both privately and in We’re Busy Being Awesome. You can absolutely strengthen this scale set and find the scheduling process and work rhythms that work best for you and your brain. Just head to the link in the show notes, and we can chat.

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Again, it is so important to set those realistic expectations for yourself so that on Sunday, you’re not setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations that you’re already dreading the day before. Or on that consistently jam-packed Thursday, you’re not expecting yourself to write two reports when you literally have meetings all day and then our apparent taxi all afternoon and evening.

When we do this, we set ourselves up to fail. It’s just not very nice to ourselves. Because then we use it against ourselves. We think to ourselves, I didn’t get anything done. I should have gotten more done. And we don’t recognize the fact that we just worked 8 hours straight and continued working full time in parent mode. Don’t do this to you.

You’re working hard. It’s enough. So set those realistic expectations.

Ask For Help

Building on that is another way to set realistic expectations, which is asking for help. Or say no.

When somebody asks you, how can I help? Tell them. And if they don’t know, tell them what you ARE doing, and then ask them where they can help.

For example, if I’m swamped, I might tell my husband,

“Here’s what’s on my list for the next few hours.

• Put the laundry away
• Pick up the Ttarget order
• Get my emails out
• Call back the vet, etc

What can you take on?”

Then he’ll choose a couple of things, and we move forward.

So again, when you’re facing the Sunday Scaries, and you’re dreading the Monday ahead. Or you’re staring down that consistently busy Thursday where you never have a moment to pause, check in with yourself and what you have coming up that next day. Set realistic expectations for the time and energy you have and ask for help anywhere you can get it.

3. Plan Something Exciting In Your Day

Another strategy I suggest to help you get rid of the Sunday scaries or that consistently jam-packed day is to incorporate something within that day that you’re genuinely excited to do or experience.

Now, this does not need to be a giant to do. It does not need to be an outing or something that requires a lot of additional planning. No.

It can be small. It can be something just for you at home.

The specific activity doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s something that you genuinely want to do and look forward to doing. This is important. When you start pairing that activity or experience with the Monday or Thursday, your brain starts recognizing that there is something fun to look forward to that day. It’s not just a big day of dread.

Rather, there is fun sprinkled throughout.

For example:

• Maybe you go out for lunch with your colleague who you really like every Monday. Or maybe you both bring lunch, but you go for a walk together after you’re done eating.
• Maybe you carve out 30 minutes or an hour to read your very favorite book or watch two episodes of your favorite series.
• Maybe sign up for that pottery class on Monday nights that you’ve wanted to do for so long.
• Or perhaps there is that eclipse of time when both of your kids are at their respective sports practices on Thursday, and you can go to your favorite ice cream shop, yet whatever ice cream you want, and catch up on your latest podcasts as you enjoy it.

How can you incorporate joy, fun and pleasure into these days intentionally so that you have something to genuinely look forward to?

I think this is something that we tend to overlook. We don’t think we have time for it. But when we do this, we start seeing our days as things to get through. We just need to make it.

But what if we didn’t have to get through it? At least not all of it? Sure, there are some things that we’re just going to let be hard. And that’s OK. But if it feels like you’re simply trying to get through each day, that might indicate an opportunity for a little more joy or fun or play in your day-to-day.

Final Thoughts

If you are a person who navigates the Sunday scaries or the Sunday Blues, remember that you are not alone. You’re absolutely in good company.

According to LinkedIn, most people navigate this at one time or another, but that doesn’t mean you have to endure the Sunday scaries forever.

There are ways you can support it.

Let’s Recap:

I first suggest getting clear on the specifics of what you’re worried about.

What are the things that have you dreading Monday or you’re consistently busy Thursday?

Get those thoughts down. Question them. Game plan for them. And depending on what you find as you journal, and the different emotions you’re experiencing on a regular basis, this is a great space to talk with a coach or a therapist. Again, depending on the topics and what’s coming up for you, both are incredible resources to help you work through it.

Once you identify those anxious thoughts and create a game plan to help yourself feel more grounded and clear, then we can start finding ways to support yourself. How can you simplify or automate decisions on those particularly demanding days?

How can you ensure that you are setting realistic expectations for a human and not a robot? Get really clear for yourself here. Try out different options. Notice what feels most supportive.

And then finally, be sure to incorporate something you’re genuinely excited to do as well. What sounds like fun? What would you look forward to doing on those busy days? How can you create that space for fun and joy and delight within even your busiest days, so that we’re not always just trying to get through our days, but we’re also creating opportunities where we WANT to slow down and experience them.