How to Learn a New Skill With ADHD: A 5-Step Process

If you’ve ever had a project you want to complete, a goal you want to reach, a skill you want to develop, but your ADHD brain says, “Ugh, that’s just not possible for me,” this post has your name on it.

Today we’re talking about a simple five-step process that you can use in any area of your life to help you take action, get through that messy middle of doubt, and follow through to make things happen in a way that works best for you.

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app. Prefer to read? No problem. Keep scrolling for a summary of key takeaways.

https://youtu.be/HFlpBmgsVmk

In Episode 378 we’re exploring:

• A five-step process for any goal, skill, or project your ADHD brain has written off as impossible
• Why finding examples of what’s possible is the step that changes everything
• The live experiment I’m running on this podcast right now, before I know how it ends

Using This Episode as the Experiment

In a very fun sort of meta twist, I’m literally using this strategy right now to show you how this thing works. So the skill that I’m working toward developing right now is speaking more extemporaneously, speaking off the cuff, rather than writing everything out word for word right here on this podcast.

For 377 episodes, I have written out word for word what I want to say. I’ve scripted it all out before I click record. And I’ve done this because, as someone with ADHD, I just have never really been able to trust my working memory to remember what I want to say, and certainly not in the right order. It just slips out of my brain, and I completely forget.

Where the Habit Actually Started

And this practice of writing things out, it actually came from even earlier. So when I was still in academia, when I was working as a professor, I would do the same thing with lecture prep, with going to conferences and giving my talks. Everything was really written out word for word because, again, I did not trust my brain to remember the facts and the figures and the ideas and the core names and all of that, because I had plenty of evidence that I couldn’t, that it would just fall out of my brain, and I wouldn’t have those answers.

And because during that time, I didn’t really have the confidence to deal with that. I knew the inner critic would come in loud and beat me up because I couldn’t remember, and what’s my problem, and what am I even doing here? I didn’t have that confidence, so I brought in this practice of scripting everything out because I could be confident in the script. I could always remind myself, “It’s okay. I have my notes. I can turn to those even if I get flustered, even if I get tongue-tied.”

And so when I left academia and I went into coaching full-time and I’m doing this podcast, I just kind of naturally took what I used for teaching and presenting into teaching and presenting on this podcast. I’m like, “Oh, of course. That’s just what you do. You write everything out word for word.”

The Question I Kept Blowing Off

Now, not surprisingly, this takes a ton of time. The amount of hours that I spend writing out the podcast before I even get to recording and editing and all of that, it’s a long time. I’m not gonna lie. And I really wanna challenge that because when I’m on coaching calls, when I’m teaching concepts in my small group programs and things, I’m not scripting everything out. I am responding to and teaching and sharing and coaching based on what I know. I don’t have to worry about remembering facts and figures. I can just show up and teach.

And knowing that that is possible for me makes me also start thinking, “Well, couldn’t that also be possible for the podcast? What’s the difference? Why can’t I bring that in here as well?”

Now, for years, I just kind of blew that off. I’m like, “Well, I can’t. That just won’t work for me. It never has. It never will. My working memory just is not strong enough for that sort of thing.” And I recently had an experience that completely challenged that.

The Podcast Episode That Changed My Mind

So a couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a podcast episode by Simon Sinek, and he has this great podcast. It’s called A Bit of Optimism. I love it, and in this particular episode, he was interviewing a guy who is an expert in presentation skills and people giving talks and that sort of thing. What makes them successful? How are they engaging?

And in this conversation, Simon talked about the skill of presenting that he developed over time, that it didn’t come naturally, and he’s very good at speaking off the cuff, but it’s a skill he developed, and the way that he developed it was starting with having a slide deck with lots of words on it. He then removed some of those words, so he would have his slide deck with fewer words to cue his talk, and then he would cut down on the number of slides, so he has fewer slides as well, and then eventually moved to no slides.

Then he started challenging the amount of prep he needed to do, so much so that in this story he was telling, he even has experiences where he was giving a big talk, and five minutes before the talk was supposed to start, someone asked him, “What are you presenting on?” He didn’t know yet.

Now, I get hives just thinking about that. But I was very inspired by this, and at the same time, my brain is doubting it for me, right? My brain is going, “Yeah, I mean, that’s great. Logically, it makes sense. Breaking it down, removing some of the words, removing some of that scaffolding as you’re building up your ability to sort of speak off the cuff.” And also, my brain doesn’t work that way. I struggle with my working memory. I have ADHD. That’s not something that I can do so naturally.

And then Simon mentions that he has really bad ADHD in that podcast, and I thought, “Well, crap.” That means that there’s a world in which I could do this, too.

And then on top of that, he offered one other compelling thing that completely sold me. He said, “I mean, just think about it. Think about how if someone asked you to talk about your kids, you could talk about it all day long. You wouldn’t need a PowerPoint. You wouldn’t need a slide deck. You wouldn’t need to write everything out. You would just talk about your kids because you know your kids.”

Now, I don’t have kids, but this is no less relevant. Of course, I could just talk about my family or talk about my husband and talk about my dog, right? Like, that’s not a problem. I don’t need a word-for-word script. I can just talk about it because I know it.

And when I heard Simon talk about his process and then share that he also has ADHD, and then give this example of you don’t need notes to talk about your kids, something that you know so well, all of that really started challenging this limiting belief, what I didn’t even see as a belief. I just treated it as fact. My brain doesn’t work that way. And I saw it for the belief it is, and that it’s optional, that I don’t actually have to believe that, and it’s possible that I could as well start learning to speak more off the cuff. I have no plans of ever going and giving a talk without knowing what I’m talking about, but that I could maybe not have to script everything out word for word, that I could maybe work from an outline instead.

Turning It Into an Experiment

And once I heard this idea, I started developing my own experiment. I thought, “You know what? What if this becomes my next project? What if this becomes this new skill I want to develop for Q4? What if we treat it like an experiment and iterate over the next three months to see if we can develop this skill a little bit further?”

And that’s what I’m doing. I’ve been practicing on a smaller scale just in working with groups and things, teaching small ideas without fleshing them out and everything, even though they’re new. And now I’m here just working from a couple of bullet points as I’m sharing this concept with you today.

And what I want to offer is, even though you’re probably not wondering how can I learn to speak without relying on word-for-word notes, you may have another skill set that you want to develop or goal you want to reach or project you want to finish, but you have a similar type of doubt. “I’m just not good at that. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t have the ability to follow through on this thing or that thing.”

And if you have some area like that in your life, just as I do with thinking I can’t speak without the word-for-word notes because my working memory can’t hold it all, I invite you to use this five-step process for your goal or your project as well.

The 5-Step Process to Learn a New Skill With ADHD

Step One: Identify the Goal, and Make Sure It’s a Full Body Yes

Like I mentioned, it’s a five-step process, and the first step is to simply identify that goal or skill or project you wanna finish, whatever it is for you. We wanna identify that one area first.

Now, as you’re choosing this area, I wanna make sure to reinforce that we want it to be a full body yes goal or objective, not some intellectual should that you have to kind of convince yourself into wanting, not something that you’ve heard people talk about, and that’s just something you, quote-unquote, “should be doing,” so you might as well adopt it yourself. We wanna make sure that it’s something you genuinely, truly want to do for yourself.

Again, that’s one of the reasons why it took me so long to get away from the notes. For a long time it was a should. I thought I should be able to do this. That’s what all the quote-unquote good podcasters or speakers could do, and then I just dropped that. I was like, no, this is how I do it. I like to write everything out. But then once I heard the inspiration of Simon Sinek, another ADHDer who did learn this skill, that’s when it shifted from a should into a could. Ooh, I could do that. I might want to do that. And that’s the energy that we want to look at. Not from a should, but from a genuine desire, a full body yes of why you might want to do that.

Okay? So that’s where we wanna start. Identify that one project or goal or skill, whatever it is, and make sure it’s a full body yes for you.

Step Two: Identify Any Limiting Beliefs in the Way

Then our step two is to identify any potential limiting beliefs that are in the way for you. So, for example, for me, it was, “I just can’t do that. That doesn’t work for my brain. My working memory can’t hold that type of information. That works for other people, but not for me.”

So when you think about this goal or project or skill that you want to develop, you might ask yourself:

• What could be in the way for me?
• What might feel challenging for me?

And then let your brain sort of list all the answers. Whatever comes out, those are probably different beliefs that are in the way. And whichever ones feel the strongest, those are the ones we probably really wanna focus on first. Again, for mine, it was just, “That doesn’t work for me. That’s just not possible.”

Step Three: Find Examples of What’s Possible

Okay? So we identify the goal, we identify any potential beliefs in the way, and then step three, I am telling you, this one is so critical. It was really the turning point for me, and that is finding examples, inspiration, others who have done this and really paved the way to show your brain, “Hey, you could do this too. This is possible for you.”

So for me, I knew there are plenty of people in the world who speak without writing everything out. I know that’s possible. But I still held onto the belief that it couldn’t work for me because I have ADHD and struggle with working memory. And then Simon comes along and he’s like, “I have ADHD, and I give these massive, impressive talks without even preparing for them, even five minutes before.” And my brain went, “Fine. Maybe this is possible for us, too.”

And when we can start seeing those examples, as long as we can use them as inspiration for us, right? Don’t use them against us. Don’t use it as, “Well, ugh, why can’t I do that? I mean, I should be able to. Everyone else can.” We’re not using it that way. We’re using it as inspiration. “Hey, if they can do it, maybe I can too. Maybe there’s a way that I could learn how to apply this. Maybe there’s an approach that I could take that could work for me.”

• Maybe you have a colleague who has been able to publish in a major journal, like the main journal for your field or something, and that’s the inspiration. You’re like, “Oh, this is possible. Here’s a colleague who’s done it.”
• Or maybe your sister managed to declutter her space and keep it that way. Maybe she decluttered it last year, and it still stayed that way, and that’s something you wanna do, and now you have an example. “Oh, wait, it is possible to not only declutter but maintain that threshold without clutter creep coming back in.”

Whatever that project or that goal is for you, start looking for examples of what’s possible out there to help your brain kind of expand and start stepping into belief that it could be possible for you too.

Step Four: Learn Their Process

And then once you find those examples, it might just be one or maybe you’ll find several, then we get to step four, which is learn their process. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to apply it in the exact same way, but this again is gonna help expand your mind to see that there is a process, there is a way to do it.

Now, this might be as simple as hearing someone talk about their process on the podcast, right? That’s what happened for me with Simon Sinek’s episode. He talked about how he went from very detailed slides to fewer words, to fewer slides, to less prep, and then finally, basically no prep, because he learned how to not freak out and freak himself out before starting, and to deeply and truly know his content and have that confidence. And so hearing that process was inspiration for me.

And again, maybe there’s your sister who’s done the decluttering, and you can ask for her process, or for your colleague who published that article, what was her process? How might we replicate that? Or take a version that might work for you. So again, it’s not an exact step-by-step template you must follow. Instead, it’s inspiration for how you might approach it in a way that works for you.

Step Five: Shape It to Work for You

And then that brings us to step five, which is to apply that approach, but shape it in a way that is supportive for you. So I’m not planning to just go up and start giving speeches without any type of prep. I want to do some prep, and also I might continue to try and reduce my reliance on needing to script things out or have really detailed notes, and maybe get it down to a five-point bullet list rather than, I don’t know, however many bullets are here. Maybe I can make it a little bit less so that, again, I can rely more on my brain to speak extemporaneously, speak off the cuff in a way that’s natural. Who knows?

What Happens If the Experiment Fails

Now, this experiment may also totally fail. Maybe by the beginning of Q1 next year, I will realize, ah, this is just not for me. I’m gonna go back to the other way. And that’s great too, because you’re always either winning or learning. And if I decide I don’t like this approach, then I’ve learned a lot about not only what I don’t like, but also what’s not working and what is working over here on the other side where I’m scripting things out. And I can close that loop going, “I gave it a fair shot. I really went all in, and now I know I don’t like that approach. It’s not the approach for me, and I’m gonna hold onto the one that is working, that is supportive, and go all in on that.”

So whether the new skill is developed and we step into it fully or not, there’s so much to celebrate in terms of what you’re learning along the way.

Your Invitation This Week

So what I invite you to do this week is think about one of those areas that you might want to develop, whether it’s a goal you want to work toward for Q4, whether it’s a skill you want to learn, maybe you have a project you want to complete before the year ends. Think about what that one thing is.

Then identify whatever beliefs might be stopping you from taking those first steps forward. What are those limiting beliefs that might be getting in the way?

And then find some examples of what’s possible. Who has done this? Who has gone before you and can show your brain, “Hey, it’s possible I could do this, too”?

Then from there, figure out perhaps what their steps are. How did they approach this? And can we use that for inspiration as we move into step five and start iterating on it as we move forward one step at a time?

Work With Me:

• Learn more about private coaching here
• Join We’re Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
• Enroll in Overwhelm to Action – step by step course for ADHD Brains

Resources From This Episode:

• Simon Sinek’s podcast, A Bit of Optimism: Season 6 Episode 29
• #1 Powerful Question To Help Change Your Limiting Beliefs
• Successful Goal Setting For ADHD

More ADHD Resources:

• Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type – Free Quiz!
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp
• Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Access the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System

Paula’s Favorite Tools

• Stay focused with brain.fm and get a 30-day free trial. Personalized music, backed by science, designed to help you get and stay in the zone.
• Speechify: my go-to text-to-speech app. One-month free trial plus $60 off a premium subscription if you decide to keep it.
• Todoist: my favorite task manager. Simple, easy to use, and incredible integration with other platforms. Get two months of premium free. No credit card required.
• Wispr Flow: The best tool for talk-to-text. Awesome for verbal processing and saving time. Free trial, no credit card required.
• Magnetic Tile System: My favorite tactile, visual planning approach for ADHD brains.

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