Why We Don’t Follow Through On Our Plans & How To Fix That

How do you follow a schedule with an ADHD brain?

As an ADHD coach, this is one of the most common questions I hear from people when they first come to work with me.

So often, we think to ourselves, “I know what to do, but I’m just not doing it.”

How do we bridge the gap between planning and execution? How do we actually do the thing?

That’s exactly what we’re exploring in episode 238 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast.

Tune in now to discover why we get stuck in later land, common traps to avoid, and a simple, 3-step process to help you dive in and take action on your plans today.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• Why we avoid our schedules and get stuck in Later Land
• Common traps to avoid
• A simple, 3-step process to dive in and take action on your plans today

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Episode #238: Why We Don’t Follow Through On Our Plans & How To Fix That (Transcript)

Today, we’re delving into a fascinating listener question that revolves around the challenge of following through on our plans, particularly when dealing with things we genuinely want to do. It’s a common struggle, and many of us can relate to the difficulty of translating well-laid plans into action.

As a friendly reminder, I always encourage you to send in your podcast topics. Your input is invaluable, and knowing what’s on your mind helps me tailor the content to provide the most helpful information each week. If you have any podcast topics you’d like me to explore, drop me an email at paula @ imbusybeingawesome.com, and I’ll make sure to add them to the list.

Today’s email comes from Emily, who shares her challenge with what she aptly calls “Later Land” when grappling with ADHD paralysis.

She writes…

“I would love to hear your thoughts on not living in “later land” when struggling with ADHD paralysis. I LOVE planning, and I will do it as a comfort when I’m stuck on something, but when it comes time to do the things that I have planned, it doesn’t always happen. The gym especially! I make amazing plans about when to go and what to do, but then when it comes up, I either don’t do it or I feel pressure to do another undone thing instead.”

Firstly, I LOVE the term “Later Land” so much! It’s a place we’ve all visited, some of us more frequently than others. It’s the zone where the gap between planning and doing widens, and we may find ourselves caught in a loop of delaying actions.

As I mentioned, we all know it well. Whether it’s personal plans like hitting the gym, cooking at home, organizing projects, or running errands, or work-related commitments such as writing reports, tackling important but not urgent projects, or creating marketing campaigns – we’ve all been in Later Land. 

So what can we do?

How can we bridge the gap between planning and execution?

How do we visit Later Land less often? 

This is a question many of us grapple with, and the path to spending less time in this place involves understanding the specific reasons behind our actions.

Let’s delve into some key strategies:

1. Get Specific About Why

Most importantly, take the time to get really specific about why you’re not doing the planned activity. There could be various reasons, and pinpointing them is the first step towards overcoming the hurdle.

2. Identify Possible Reasons

Recognize that there are numerous possible reasons for not following through on plans.

Some common factors include:

• Pressure to do something else: External demands or perceived priorities may divert your attention.
• Mid-project transitions: Switching tasks can be challenging, and being in the middle of another project might create resistance.
• Forgetfulness or time loss: Losing track of time or forgetting about the plan can be a hurdle.
• Lack of desire: Sometimes, the simple fact is that you don’t want to do the planned activity.
• Discomfort avoidance: The task might be uncomfortable, and the avoidance of discomfort becomes a barrier.

3. Recognize You Need Tailored Solutions

Recognize that each of these reasons requires a different approach for resolution.

Tailor your solutions based on the specific challenge you’re facing. What works for one issue might not be effective for another, making it crucial to address each one individually.

4. Create Time for Self-Reflection:

Ask yourself the critical question: Why am I not sticking with the plan to XYZ?

Be super specific as you analyze each situation. Understanding the root cause is instrumental in finding effective solutions.

5. Do An Honest Self-Assessment:

Be honest with yourself. Create a judgment-free zone where curiosity is the only allowed mindset. This is how we learn and grow. Honest self-assessment allows you to confront the reasons head-on and make progress.

Why Do We Avoid Executing Our Plans?

Let’s explore one of the most common reasons we find ourselves avoiding our plans: the trap of unrealistic planning.

This is a pervasive issue that many of us fall into, and understanding its nuances is crucial for breaking free from Later Land.

1. Unrealistic Planning Trap

Everything is Possible in Later Land:

In the realm of Later Land, our minds trick us into believing that anything is possible. We disregard the constraints of time and math.

Calendar and To-Do List Fallacy: We convince ourselves that as long as we allocate time-blocks in our calendar or jot down tasks on a to-do list, everything should seamlessly fall into place. However, this is a misleading notion.

Forgetting the Reality of Time:

Unrealistic expectations stem from forgetting that things take time. It’s akin to attempting to time block a visit to Australia from 10:00-11:00 am today – an obviously unattainable feat.

Common Mistake in Scheduling: We often create unrealistic schedules for ourselves, setting up a scenario where living in Later Land becomes inevitable.

Getting Realistic about Schedules:

The antidote to this trap is getting realistic about our schedules. Instead of setting ourselves up for failure, we should:

• Break Down Steps: Break down the steps of a process and estimate actual time frames for each step.
• Double or Triple Estimates: Recognize our time blindness and double or triple the estimated time until we gain a realistic understanding of how long tasks take.
• Use Tools for Help: If breaking down steps and estimating time feels overwhelming, consider using tools like the Magic ToDo app – a free resource that streamlines this process.

2. Something Else Seems More Important

Is it Actually True? Is something else actually more important?

Assessment: Begin by questioning whether the belief that something else is more important is genuinely true.

Frequent Occurance: If this happens often, it may indicate a need to slow down the planning process. Take time to carefully consider all priorities before crafting the schedule.

Challenging the Notion:

• True Importance: If it’s not true that something else is more important, it’s crucial to challenge your own thoughts.
• Ask yourself if the alternative task is genuinely more important. Analyze the reasons and evaluate the compelling nature of your arguments. Do you truly like your reasons?

Future Perspective:

Think about ‘tomorrow you’, a week from now, a month from now: Consider what your future self thinks about the decision to prioritize the other task.

Understanding Past Choices:

• Why Did Past-You Plan This? Reflect on why past you, when making the initial plan, deemed it the most important thing.
• Trust in Past Decisions: Can you trust the past version of yourself, knowing that they had your long-term goals and objectives in mind during the planning phase?
• Don’t believe everything your brain tells you: Approach the idea that something else is more important with caution. Can you be sure?
• Mind’s Resistance to Change:
  • Establishing New Habits or Routines: Understand that the brain is wired to resist change, especially when establishing new habits or routines.
  • Motivational Triad: Acknowledge that the brain evolved to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy – going against these instincts during habit formation can trigger resistance.
• Being Onto Your Brain:
  • Questioning Importance: Before succumbing to the belief that something else is more important, be onto your brain. Is the alternative task genuinely more crucial?

Let’s explore the crucial aspect of determining whether you actually want to do the planned activity and the importance of being honest with yourself in this evaluation:

3. Do You Actually Want to Do the Thing? Be Honest with Yourself:

Later Land Fantasies:

• Everything Sounds Incredible: In the fantasy world of Later Land, everything sounds incredible and possible.
• Saying Yes to Everything: Many of us are conditioned to say yes to everything, even if it means scrambling to make it work later. We often leave the challenges for our future selves to tackle.
• We Talk Ourselves Into It: We convince ourselves with stories like “I’ll make it work,” “It will probably be fun,” or “I know it will be good to do.” We talk ourselves into plans, believing we’ll have the energy for them in the future.

Reality Check – Ask Yourself:

• Present Energy and Time: Before committing to a plan, ask yourself if you would have the energy and time to do it today. If not, unless something drastically changes, you’ll likely feel the same one week from now.
• Planning for Reality: Acknowledge the tendency to plan for a fantasy version of yourself with endless energy and enthusiasm in Later Land. Ensure you’re planning for your reality.

Get Honest with Yourself:

• Full-Body Yes or Intellectual Should: It’s essential to distinguish between a full-body yes and an intellectual should.
  • Intellectual Should – Remove from List: If it’s an intellectual should, consider removing it from your list. Check out Episode 172: Procrastination, ADHD, And The Intellectual Yes for a deeper dive into this concept.
  • Full-Body Yes – Understand Why: If it’s a full-body yes, pause and get clear on why it’s a yes.

Check-In on Your Why:

• Identifying Purpose: Understand why you want to do this thing. Consider it as making a deposit toward your future self.
  • Connecting with Values: For example, if the plan is to go to the gym, ask yourself why. Connect it to your values – perhaps it’s about real-life connections, building muscle gains, or using movement as a tool for emotional and physical health.
  • Remind Yourself Why: Write down the reasons why you want to do this thing and put that reminder in your calendar. This serves as a powerful tool to tap into your why easily.

How to Follow Through on Plans: 3-Step Process

1. Remind Yourself Why:

• Write it Down: As mentioned in Emily’s example of going to the gym, remind yourself why you want to do the planned activity. Write down the reasons in your schedule.
• Reflect on Feelings: Reflect on how you’ll feel after completing the task. Create a clear vision of the positive emotions and satisfaction you’ll experience.

2. Step into the Identity of the Behavior:

• Identity vs. Action: Instead of framing the thing in your schedule as an action you plan to do, step into the identity of the behavior.
  • Example: Rather than saying, “I go to the gym 3x per week,” identify with the broader identity – “I’m a gym regular. I’m a weight lifter. I’m a runner. I’m a dancer. I’m a yogi.”
• Step Into That Identity: Emphasize the importance of fully embracing and stepping into the chosen identity.

3. Be Willing to Feel Uncomfortable:

Challenge Evolutionary Wiring:

• Difficulty in Going Against Evolution: Acknowledge the challenge of going against evolution. Our brains are wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy.
• Natural Avoidance Instinct: It’s natural to want to avoid discomfort. The brain is designed to protect us from potential threats or discomfort.

Check-in and Lean in:

• Awareness Check-In: Notice the resistance and discomfort. Perform a self-check: “Am I willing to lean in and take that next step anyway?”
• Pause and Reflect: Ask yourself if you’re willing to pause, feel the emotion of reluctance, disinterest, or even a sense of dread-lite.

Embrace The Full Body Yes:

• Commit to the Full-Body Yes: Despite the discomfort, reaffirm your commitment to the activity by reminding yourself it’s a full-body yes and you genuinely want to make a deposit for your future self.
• Moving Through the Resistance: The willingness to pause, lean in, feel the discomfort, and move through it is a key component of successfully following through on plans.

Recap – Three Key Steps:

1) Remind Yourself Why: Focus on the importance of the planned activity and why it matters to you.

2) Step Into Your Identity: Embrace the identity associated with the behavior you want to adopt.

3) Acknowledge and Support Through Resistance: Recognize and support yourself through the resistance that inevitably arises when making a deposit toward your future self.

All right, my friends, that’s going to do it for us this week.

👉 If you’re ready to take these concepts and apply them to your life, let’s talk. Join me in my 1:1 coaching and in my group program, We’re Busy Being Awesome. I’ve got you.

Also, if you want to learn my step by step approach to locking in a routine and making it stick, be sure to take my free course called the ADHD routine revamp. SIGN UP Here to get started!