An ADHD Guide to Creating Structure During Holidays

Does your ADHD brain feel a bit overwhelmed when your regular routine shifts?

Do you feel a bit untethered during unstructured days or weeks?

If so, it makes sense since our executive functions are craving the extra support of a familiar routine.

You’re going to love episode 231 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast. Discover a simple framework to help you create some structure and stability when you’re facing shifts away from your usual routine.

Whether it’s that weird time warp between Christmas and New Year’s, the kids are home for spring break, or you’re taking a vacation from the usual grind, this episode helps you identify the right level of structure for your brain so you can make the most of the time ahead.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• The importance of structure for an ADHD brain
• How to set realistic expectations during your time off
• A simple framework to create the ideal level of structure for your brain

Episode #231: An ADHD Guide to Creating Structure During Holidays (Transcript) 

Hey, everybody. Welcome back. This episode drops on Christmas day this year, so for those of you who celebrate, I hope you’re having a very Merry Christmas.

Now this also means that if you’re listening in real-time we’ve reached that weird period between Christmas and New Year’s where time seems to just get kind of strange.

Whether you’re in the midst of holiday celebrations or it’s just another Monday, this last week of the year tends to disrupt our usual routines quite a bit.

Some of us are on break from work. Some of us have kids who are off from school. Others of us – whether we’re in healthcare or the service industry – may be working extra hard, navigating an influx of sick patients or a rush of sales and returns in this busy end-of-year rush.

Regardless of the scenario, and whether the demand for our time has gone up or gone down, this deviation from our regular routine can leave our ADHD brains feeling a bit untethered because we lack the stability of a familiar routine.

Us ADHDers Have A Love Hate Relationship With Routines

Now I want to acknowledge that many ADHD brains tend to have a love-hate relationship with routines.

A part of us often craves the structure they provide, but we seem to resist them at times, too. And wherever you fall on that love-hate spectrum of routines, when our usual routines vanish, we often feel adrift. It’s like we’re a sailboat without the centerboard down. We don’t have that solid repetition to ground us.

Now please hear me, I’m not saying you have to always incorporate lots of structure. I know many of us look forward to having a break in our day-to-day grind, which is the beauty of vacation. But as I’ll explain more in a minute, our ADHD brains crave SOME level of structure, even when we’re breaking from the norm. And this episode is here to help you create that.

We’ll start by identifying the level of structure your brain craves. Then, we’ll explore some different examples of what that schedule could look like to provide you with the scaffolding or bookends for an otherwise unstructured week, and these examples will highlight different approaches to structure.

👉 Grab a piece of paper if you’d like to follow along. We’re diving into actionable steps that you can put to use today.

We All Need Structure & Routine

Let’s start with what I believe to be fact, which is everybody’s brain wants structure. Of course, everyone’s preferences vary depending on how strict that structure is, but one universal truth is that we all need some form of structure in our lives. It might be as simple as the routine of sleep every 24 hours, but it’s nevertheless there.

Keeping that in mind, what do I mean when I say the degree of rigidity can differ significantly?

Some brains find minimal structure to feel super freeing.

They love having open-ended days without specific timetables of when to do things or the limit of having to follow a plan.

At the same time, someone else could look at that and feel really uncertain and uncomfortable because their brain is seeking more certainty. They want to know what’s going on.

In fact, another person could find a highly organized “week off” with specific activities planned on certain days to feel incredibly freeing. And they feel freedom in that because they know exactly what they’re doing, and they’ve intentionally planned the things they know they want to do, and that feels like freedom.

I offer this contrasting perspective to reinforce the idea that there is no right or wrong way to do this.

Instead, there are simply different options available for different brains, and the important thing is to know what feels most supportive for you.

I like to categorize structure into 3 levels

Low, medium, and high, understanding that each of us falls somewhere along this continuum.

Throughout this episode, I’ll provide examples within each category, offering ideas for creating structure in weeks when your regular routines are disrupted.

Why Having Structure Is Crucial

When we lack any form of structure, our brains face increased challenges because it places a heavy demand on our executive functions.

When we have no structure, every decision, from what to eat and when to eat, to choosing activities, attending events, and making plans, has to be made in the moment.

Structure Helps Us Navigate Life

For individuals with ADHD brains, executive functions are not our forte – they tend to be underdeveloped and present a significant struggle. By expecting ourselves to make all these decisions in the moment, on top of the fact that we’re trying to function out of our usual routine, is a big ask.

By clarifying our preferred level of structure and implementing it, especially during weeks when our usual routines are disrupted, we can significantly enhance our level of presence and navigate our days more effectively.

Structure & Routine Helps Prevent Time Blindness

Another compelling reason to embrace YOUR level of structure, particularly for those of us with ADHD brains, is that most of us are time blind. We are not good at knowing how much time we need, what’s a realistic time frame to do things, how quickly or slowly time is passing, etc.

As I’m sure many of you listeners can relate, whenever I face a significant length of time – in this case, a full week, my brain fully believes I can do ANYTHING. I have all the time in the world, and I’m going to do – literally – everything I’ve ever wanted and more.

We think to ourselves, amazing! I have the whole week in front of me. I’m going to…

• Outline and get started on my book
• Build a new course
• Plan out the year ahead
• Get together with my friends
• Spend some time with my kids
• Read the seven books on my shelf that I’ve been meaning to get to for the past year

We have so many fun, exciting things we want to do, and because our awareness of time is so poor, and we don’t slow down to actually map out the reality of this list. We put so much pressure on ourselves to get it all done. And again, if you’re like me, feel genuinely disappointed if you don’t get to it all.

Of course, in reality, our perception of time is so flawed. We convince ourselves that we can squeeze all these activities into a short period, whether it’s a week, three days, or even 24 hours.

The truth is we set ourselves up for disappointment because the sheer volume of tasks we plan to tackle is unrealistic.

This tendency to overload ourselves with grand plans, fueled by a skewed sense of time, leads to genuine disappointment when we inevitably fall short.

This is another reason why I think it’s so powerful to recognize the limits of time and set realistic expectations, acknowledging that attempting to accomplish a year’s worth of goals in a few days is an impractical feat.

Structure Brings Clarity To Our ‘Unstructured’ Weeks

Even a small amount of structure can bring so much clarity to your week.

Therefore, understanding the importance of structure and acknowledging the limitations of our sense of time, let’s now explore how to effectively incorporate structure into our unstructured weeks.

Because if you aim to get anywhere close to that ambitious list without any form of plan or structure, it will prove quite challenging. The reason is, that without structure, you will likely find it difficult to determine when and how much time to allocate to each activity.

However, introducing even a small amount of structure, without it being overly rigid, can significantly help your brain grasp the bigger picture of how all the individual puzzle pieces of activities fit together to shape your week. By incorporating a bit more structure or planning, you empower your brain to prioritize activities, making it easier to decide what to do and when.

If you ask me, that sounds so much more enjoyable than the alternative of spinning in indecision, fretting over various options, and eventually freezing up and not doing anything because it felt too overwhelming to make a choice. So you’re watching reruns of Friends again. If this sounds strangely specific, that’s because it is. I’ve totally been there, too.

This clarity is crucial for understanding what you realistically can achieve. This helps prevent completely overscheduling yourself and navigating the potential disappointment of thinking you wasted your whole vacation because you didn’t get to everything on your list.

For those of you who are extra busy…

Now, let’s address the flip side. Some of you might be extra busy than usual and you’re actively working during this week. Maybe you’re listening to this episode while driving into a busy day at work. Whether you work in the service industry, retail, healthcare, or any other industry where you don’t have this slight pause point at the end of the year, I encourage you to keep listening, knowing you can still apply the principles we’re exploring today.

You could adapt the approach to plan …

• Whatever time you do have off during the week or for your next weekend.
• Your evenings when you’re done with work
• if you work the night shift – how you intentionally plan your day and really lean into the approach during this especially busy season

Okay, so rather than thinking to yourself, I’m just going to skip this episode. It doesn’t apply to me since I don’t have the whole week off. I do invite you to consider: “how can I apply this approach that we’re talking about today with a slight twist to support my current situation?” Or “what can I learn from this to inform how I approach my next week off?”

I do want you to know I see you, and I know that so many of you incredible, amazing humans are working so hard during this week, and not everybody has this time off. So I appreciate you so much for showing up and doing that.

Low, Medium & High Structure Examples

With that context, let’s dive into the discussion of structure. I’ll provide an overview of the three different levels of structure and then offer examples of how you might approach your days based on the level of structure that feels most supportive for you.

Low Level of Structure

Folks who prefer minimal structure might resist specific days and times planned for activities because they really value the freedom of choice above all else.

For these individuals, a low level of structural support could involve creating a list of potential activities. These are activities that sound enjoyable, and as time permits throughout the week, they can refer to the list for inspiration IF YOU WANT TO.

This approach allows for flexibility and freedom, as there’s no commitment to specific activities. Instead, you simply have the benefit of giving yourself a range of options ready to choose from if and when the opportunity arises.

Medium Structure

If this low level of structure doesn’t feel sufficient for your brain and you crave a bit more support, we can gradually add more structure. So let’s explore some different versions, and I’ll add a little bit more structure as we work our way up the ladder of scaffolding.

Thinking about adding a bit more definition to your plans, maybe you choose some specific activities you want to do, like going to the movies, taking the kids ice skating, having a game day, and getting lunch with a friend.

We’re creating a bit more structure by deciding the things you know you want to do. You could leave it at that and then make sure those things happen and leave the rest up for grabs. That way you’re making time for the things that matter most while allowing space for spontaneity, too.

Moving up the ladder of structure, you might find that categorizing your activities adds a helpful layer of organization.

Perhaps you create two lists:

• One for projects and activities at home, like playing board games and reading books
• Another for outings, such as lunch with a friend and outdoor adventures.

With this approach, you can allocate specific days or times for home activities and separate times for outings, providing a balanced structure.

High Level of Structure

From there, we get to an even more structured approach where you use time blocking, themed days, or themed mornings and afternoons.

In this scenario, you proactively plan your entire week, assigning specific activities to designated time slots.

For example, you might dedicate:

• Tuesday and Wednesday mornings to reading and doing crafts, with afternoons reserved for sledding and ice skating.
• Thursday could be a day for errands and shopping
• Friday morning might be a playdate and after lunch the whole family tidies up the house after an entire week with everybody off.
• Saturday as a full-day PJ extravaganza, complete with movies and games.

I offer these different examples not to overwhelm but rather to illustrate the spectrum of possibilities.

The goal is to foster cognitive flexibility, encouraging your brain to explore the various levels of structure between a completely unscheduled week and a highly regimented one.

Remember: There is no right or wrong choice: Instead, consider what aligns best with the structure that feels like support for your brain.

How I’m Structure My Time Over The Holidays

As I mentioned earlier, my personal preference leans toward a higher level of structure. I won’t go to the extent of time blocking, but I do have daily plans.  I know when I’m doing things outside of the house with family and friends.

For example, my sisters and I have a tradition of going to the mall the day after Christmas to shop the sales, and this year won’t be any different.

👉 I’ve set aside a dedicated morning on Wednesday for reflection on the past year and strategic planning for the year ahead.

On a slightly more pragmatic note, I plan to take down my holiday decorations on Saturday before I return to work. It feels a bit like Scrooge, but I also know my brain and I know that once the vacation ends, it will be hard for me to intentionally carve out time to do it, and it will become this heavy should that I’m carrying around until February.

Beyond specific scheduled activities, I’ve also identified the things I want to do in my unscheduled time. 

• I have a list of books I’m excited to read
• I know what crochet projects I’d do
• I have a puzzle I want to work on

While my schedule isn’t excessively strict, I’ve outlined a general map of what I want to do because then I don’t have to decide in the moment. It doesn’t mean I can’t change my plans if something comes up, but it does remove the demands of making another decision.

It also helps prevent me from slipping into my usual habits and patterns which, to be honest, would have me up here behind my computer trying to work ahead rather than resting.

By having a preliminary plan, I’ve created a balance between structure and flexibility. I understand that unscheduled activities may shift; that’s not a problem. However, by making key decisions ahead of time, I’ve minimized the mental energy required to make spur-of-the-moment choices.

What Level Of Structure Works Best For You?

Now that we’ve explored various levels of structure, it’s your turn to reflect and decide what feels most supportive for you.

Whether it’s a low, medium, or high level, the key is to find the level of structure that empowers you to make the most of your unstructured time without feeling overwhelmed or restricted.

There is no universal answer, only what works best for your unique brain and allows you to approach the season with intentionality.

I genuinely hope this episode provides your brain with a better understanding of the level of structure that feels good for you and helps spark ideas for how you might create that. Not only for the week ahead but for any unplanned weeks in the future.

Steps To Get Started

To recap the steps:

1. Check-in with your preferred level of structure: 

Understand when you feel the most freedom. Is it with an open and flexible schedule, or do you, like me, find the most freedom in structure and predictability?

2. Brainstorm and iterate:

Use these suggestions as a starting point. Experiment with different levels of structure and see what works best for you. In fact, you could treat this week as an opportunity to explore and learn about your preferences and play around with a different level of structure each day.

3. Lean in:

Regardless of the approach you choose, embrace the gift of scaffolding and support you’ve given yourself. Feel proud of staying present and intentional as you savor your time ahead.