How To Play As An Adult + The 7 Properties of Play

As an adult, when was the last time you experienced pure, unbridled delight, the kind where you weren’t thinking about productivity or checking things off your to-do list? Instead, you just got to play.

For many of us with ADHD, the concept of “play” feels foreign. We convince ourselves that play is for kids. We couldn’t possibly have time for something so seemingly frivolous.

This was certainly what I used to believe.

For years, my brain was laser-focused on building elaborate productivity systems. If something didn’t have a measurable outcome, it didn’t seem worth doing. My hobbies morphed into side hustles, and my brain was convinced that any downtime was procrastination.

Fortunately, I’ve completely changed my perspective on this.

Today, I’m here to suggest that play isn’t just for kids. It’s not an optional luxury—it’s a necessity.

In fact, what we’ve been dismissing as “childish” or “unproductive” is actually a powerful tool for supporting our ADHD brains.

And in episode 312 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we’re challenging everything you think you know about play and discovering why it might be the missing piece in your ADHD toolkit.

Let’s get into it.

Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app. Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 312, You Will Discover:

• Why play is important for adults, not just children
• How play is a powerful tool for regulating and supporting your ADHD brain for greater resilience, focus, and effectiveness overall
• The 7 properties of genuine play and how to identify what counts as play for YOU

Episode 312: How To Play As An Adult + The 7 Properties of Play (Transcript)

Today I wanted to talk about something that might seem—on the surface—a little unexpected for this podcast. But as we dive in, I think you’ll quickly understand why it’s actually crucial to explore.

And that is the topic of play.

Now, if you’re reaching for your phone to find another episode about efficiency or prioritization, I invite you to pause. You might be thinking, “What does that even mean? I’m an ADULT… who plays as an adult?! It’s not like I’m going to build a pillow fort in my living room.”

I get it. Honestly, for years, my brain’s immediate response to the topic of play often brought up similar thoughts.

But the more I’ve explored this idea—essentially since I did my last episode on the eight different play personalities nearly 100 episodes ago—the more I’ve realized just how critical play is for our ADHD brains.

It’s not fluff, indulgent, or something we need to earn after getting everything else done.

In many ways, play is the thing that makes it possible to do everything else.

It’s how we can:

• Recharge
• Reset
• Regulate
• Reconnect with ourselves

When done right, play also helps us focus, make decisions, and – perhaps most importantly – feel like ourselves again.

So, let’s begin exploring how making time for play isn’t just about having fun—it’s about finding a sustainable way to thrive with your ADHD brain.

The Importance of Play for Adults

So let’s start by exploring specifically why I believe play isn’t just a luxury or a “nice to have.”

Why is it that for adults, play is so essential?

Most importantly, play is an incredibly effective way we can support both our nervous system and our executive functions. When we engage in real play – and I’ll explain what I mean by “real play” in just a moment – we’re not just entertaining ourselves.

Play helps us…

1. Regulate our nervous system

You see, when we’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, or stuck in go-go-go mode, our nervous system often gets thrown into fight, flight, or freeze without us even realizing it.

Play helps us shift out of that activated state and into a place of safety, connection, and presence.

This is especially true when we can engage in reciprocal, face-to-face play or real-time social interaction. Doing so helps regulate our stress responses through social cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

All of this can help cue our brains that we’re safe. And that feeling of safety allows us to breathe more deeply, feel more grounded, and actually process what’s happening instead of reacting from stress. Long story short, play isn’t just fun, it helps us stabilize our entire system.

2. Strengthen executive function skills

Including working memory, self-control, and cognitive flexibility.

Research shows that…

• Strategy games can enhance attention, reaction times and our ability to make decisions
• Imaginative play or games where rules change can help strengthen working memory, self-control, and mental flexibility.
• Physical and constructive play can improve both cognitive flexibility and self-regulation.

3. experience greater joy and lightness

When we engage in genuine play, our brains release neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that create a natural sense of pleasure and reward.

This isn’t just about momentary happiness; it creates a positive feedback loop that makes us more likely to engage, learn, and stay motivated in other areas of our lives.

Also, when we experience joy through play, we’re more likely to approach challenges with curiosity rather than dread, and we’re better equipped to maintain sustained attention on tasks that matter to us.

4. Recharge and build resilience

Finally, play acts as a natural reset button for both our mental and emotional capacity.

When we engage in activities that bring us genuine enjoyment without pressure or expectation, we’re rebuilding our capacity to handle stress and challenges.

What I think is fascinating about this is that recharging through play is different than passive rest (like watching TV) because it actively engages our brain in a way that’s energizing.

By taking time to play, we’re not just taking a break; we’re actively building our resilience reserves. This then makes it easier to navigate difficult situations and maintain emotional balance when we return to our everyday responsibilities.

The 7 Properties of Play To Have Fun in Life

Now that we know why play matters – how it supports our nervous system, strengthens executive functions, and helps us actually enjoy our lives, how do we know if we’re really experiencing it?

That’s where the work of Dr. Stuart Brown is so helpful. Dr. Brown is the founder of the National Institute for Play, and he is one of the leading researchers on the science of play in both children and adults. And based on decades of research, he identified seven core properties that define true play.

In other words, there is a way to actually qualify what constitutes as play, and we know we’re in the play zone when the majority of these seven qualities are present.

Let’s walk through each one:

1. Apparent Purposelessness

Play isn’t done to achieve something. It doesn’t have a productive goal. You’re not doing it to earn money, check a box, or move closer to a result. The experience is the point.

2. Voluntary

You’re choosing to do it. No one is making you. There’s a sense of autonomy and freedom, which activates motivation and agency—both powerful for ADHD brains.

3. Inherently Attractive

You’re drawn to this particular activity. It’s fun, engaging, or satisfying just because it feels good. There’s no external reward needed.

4. Freedom from Time

You lose track of time when you’re doing it. It’s immersive, and you’re fully in the moment. That “flow state” feeling? This is it.

5. Diminished Self-Consciousness

You’re not worried about how you look or what people might think. You’re not performing—you’re just being.

6. Improvisational Potential

Play invites creativity, flexibility, and spontaneity. You’re not locked into rules or outcomes. You get to experiment and explore.

7. Continuation Desire

You don’t want to stop. You feel that spark of “just a little more.” It’s the kind of motivation that keeps you coming back—not because you should, but because you want to.

–

So those are the 7 different play properties, and when you have several of those boxes checked within a particular activity, it likely constitutes play for YOU.

Real-Life Examples of Play for Adults

Now, let’s share some concrete examples of play for adults.

I know when I first heard this list, I was like, “Okay… cool…I get the idea. But I don’t really know what this looks like for me. I don’t know whether anything I do actually meets this criteria.”

So I want to share some of the ways play has shown up in my life lately—and how these activities tick some (or most!) of the boxes we just talked about.

Drawing & Doodling

I don’t know what it is, but I’ve felt this pull to be drawing and doodling a lot recently. What’s strange about this is I’ve never been good at this. I’ve never been a person who could do a little doodle and it turn into some cute thing. It’s never come naturally to me.

When I was younger, I’d often check out the “how to draw” books from the library and give them a go for a while before moving on to the next new interest. It rarely stuck for more than a few days. Probably because – as I mentioned – I’m not good at it. Ha!

Nevertheless, I’ve recently felt this pull to explore bullet journaling again. And when I started it up, I realized what I was really craving was an analogue paper space to draw.

Now I’m expanding to drawing not only in my planner, but also in sketchpads and random pieces of paper.

Here’s what I’ve realized as I reflect on my pull toward drawing:

• It’s ‘completely ‘officially’ purposeless: I’m not trying to make “art.” Nobody wants what I’m drawing. I’m not sharing it with anyone. It’s just for me.
• It’s voluntary: I pick it up when I want to, usually without even thinking about it. It’s been an awesome transition activity after work, actually. I’ll write out my schedule fpr the next day ahead, and then move into doodling on the same page.
• It’s inherently attractive to my brain: the feel of the pencil or pen, the texture of the paper, the iterative nature, the freedom to draw whatever I want. It pulls me in every time.
• It has so much improvisational potential: I never know what’s going to happen, and that makes it better.

So drawing has turned out to be one of those things that calms my brain and energizes me at the same time.

Rollerblading

My parents did a garage sale a few weeks ago, and they found my old rollerblades while cleaning out their garage. And of course, I had to try them on again.

While I was very shaky at first, it was seriously SO fun to rollerblade again. It similarly checked a surprising number of boxes for play, and I am totally hear for bringing back rollerblades circa 1993!

Here’s why I LOVE it:

• First of all, it’s 100% voluntary – nobody’s telling me to do it.
• There’s also a very clear sense of apparent purposelessness for myself specifically – I’m not doing this for a specific workout or to try and increase my rollerblade speed. I’m just skating because it’s fun.
• While I admittedly felt a bit self-conscious at first because I was pretty rusty, once I remembered how to skate well enough, and I went to the state park nearby with these nice long paths, that self-consciousness quickly disappeared. And I was able to just stay focused on the pure delight of gliding through the trees and just enjoying the movement.
• I quickly lost track of time and could just drop into the experience, which was awesome

It makes me feel like a kid again—in the best possible way.

Crocheting

Crocheting will likely not come as a surprise to anybody since I feel like I talk about it all the time! Crochet is one of those comfort activities for me and it ticks more boxes for play than I realized.

• It’s deeply inherently attractive – the rhythm, the texture, the quiet focus? I love it.
• It’s totally voluntary – there’s no pressure or deadline.
• It gives me that continuation desire feeling- just one more row. Just one more round.
• When I get into the zone, it brings that freedom from time quality, too.

There’s a reason I keep coming back to it.

Horseback Riding

I started horseback riding again for the first time in probably 20 years. Now, growing up, I learned to ride in a Western saddle, and I’m now learning English riding. And let me tell you – like drawing – I am not good at this. It feels so different!

And yet… it is also such a powerful form of play for me.

• Once I’m up on the horse, my self-consciousness diminishes despite the fact that I’m super clunky. I can’t keep my legs in the right place to save my life – it feels so much different from a western saddle! Honestly, I make so many mistakes. And I don’t care. It’s a challenge I can dig into, and I enjoy every minute.
• It’s also totally voluntary—I’m choosing to do it every time.
• It’s inherently attractive. There is something so healing about being with the horses and working on that communication with them, depending on your position or hand placement or heel placement or whatever.
• While I’m far from flowing, there is improvisational potential—I’m always learning, adjusting, adapting in real time.
• And I want to keep going. Every time I ride, I leave feeling like I want more.

It’s joyful because it’s imperfect. And that’s what makes it so healing.

–

These are just a few of my current examples, but what I want to reinforce is that… Play isn’t necessarily about doing something silly or playing make-believe, though I want to reinforce that it certainly COULD BE.

The key takeaway is a focus on how that activity makes your brain and body feel.

When particular activities that you enjoy hit these different properties of play, especially multiple at once, you know you’re in that sweet spot.

You’re not just having fun. You’re nourishing your nervous system. You’re supporting your executive functions. You’re reconnecting with you.

Don’t Have Time? Don’t Know Where To Begin?

Before we wrap up, I want to name possible resistance that might be coming up for you.

Maybe your brain is saying things like:

• “I don’t have time for this.”
• “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
• “Isn’t this kind of… self-indulgent?”

If so, you’re not alone. These thoughts are so common, especially since so many of us have been conditioned to measure our worth by productivity.

This also makes sense in terms of sheer familiarity. If your nervous system has been stuck in go-mode for years, slowing down to do something “just for fun” can feel unfamiliar—even unsafe.

So, I want to plant the seed. What if play…

• Isn’t something you have to earn by getting everything else done?
• Is the thing that helps you come back to life before you finish?
• Is exactly what your brain’s been craving—not as a reward, but as a reset?

You see, most of us are pushing through burnout and emotional exhaustion without giving ourselves the chance to recharge.

But, you see, play actually provides that recharge.

So instead of asking, “Do I really have time for this?” I invite you to consider: “What might open up if I did?” “What might change for the better if I did?”

Next Steps

My goal for today’s episode is simple: I hope that you leave feeling curious and open, and as we wrap up today, you’re imagining what play could look like in your life.

Ask yourself:

• What might shift if you reintroduced it into your life
• How it might feel to stop waiting for the “right time” and instead start weaving those moments into the everyday

I’d love for you to feel that little spark of: “Wait… I think I need more of this.” Maybe it’s possible to bring it in and it’s worth it to create the time for a playful mindset and having more fun and play in your life.

I’d love to hear from you:

What was your favorite way to play as a kid and what do you love to do now?

• Send me DM or comment on one of the posts for this episode – I’m over @imbusybeingawesome

If this episode sparked something for you today and you’re thinking, “Wait… I really do want more of this in my life…”

• Make sure to subscribe to the podcast and follow along on YouTube
• And if you know of someone who might also love a reminder about the importance of play, I’d be so grateful if you shared this episode with them

👉 Want to take these concepts further and apply them to your life? Learn more about how we can work together with my small group coaching program, “We’re Busy Being Awesome,” and one-on-one coaching.

✨ Have you downloaded my free Dopamine Menu workbook and templates? I help you identify specific activities that bring genuine delight to your brain and create a wide array of options to meet you wherever you’re at – whether you need a quick reset or a deeper dive into play. Grab the Free Dopamine Menu Template & Guide Now!

Links From The Podcast

• Learn more about private coaching here
• Learn more about We’re Busy Being Awesome here
• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Take my free course, ADHD Routine Revamp
• Listen to Episode 223: 8 Play Personality Types
• Grab your free Dopamine Menu here
• Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Dr. Stuart Brown

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