Why Celebrating Your Wins Matters + How to Start

Can we talk about those “big wins” or “milestone moments” that are supposed to feel so satisfying… but somehow don’t? You do the thing — the thing you’ve been working toward for months. You hit submit, sign the papers, cross the finish line and instead of feeling proud… you feel nothing.

Your brain brushes it off, saying some version of, “Honestly… it’s not that big of a deal”, and then simply moves on to the next big project on the list.

What’s that about? That’s what we’re talking about in Episode 314 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast.

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Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app. Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 314, You Will Discover:

• Why your ADHD brain struggles to feel satisfied after major accomplishments, even after hard work
• Why acknowledging your wins is so important for ADHDers
• Practical ways to celebrate wins, train your brain to recognize success, and experience the satisfaction you deserve

Episode 314: Why Recognizing & Celebrating Your Wins Matters + How to Start (Transcript)

Today, we’re talking about the topic of accomplishments and the many reasons why we struggle with and benefit from pausing to feel proud of ourselves a little more often.

I’ll also mention that — depending on your relationship with recognizing your wins — this episode might feel a little uncomfortable for some of you listening as well.

I know I felt highly uncomfortable outlining the first part of this episode, particularly because I’m going to share some of my “successes” here, which makes me want to cringe. As you can imagine, I have no desire whatsoever to come off as someone who is boasting or trying to just “show off” or whatever.

For the sake of this episode and the very point I want to make in it, here we go. Let’s talk about the importance of recognizing our successes and feeling proud of ourselves.

I’ll reluctantly start.

Objectively, on paper, I have had some successes in my life:

• I finished my PhD
• I got a tenure-track job at an R1 university
• I published my book with a university press.
• I launched a podcast and started a business.
• I went full-time in that business in 2021 and haven’t looked back at academia since.

Every time I worked toward the new goal or milestone, I was convinced that I’d finally feel a sense of arrival or accomplishment once I reached it. I’d finally experience that sense of fulfillment.

With each new goal, I’d convince myself that I’d actually feel happy and genuinely want to celebrate like I saw people do in movies or on social media.

However, you know what really happened when I reached each goal? A whole lot of nothing.

Instead, my brain immediately skipped to the next project or task on the list.

• No pause.
• No sense of accomplishment.
• No celebration.

Just: “Okay, what do I have to do next?”

Looking back now, I wish I could tap past me on the shoulder and say: “Umm— excuse me?! We need to celebrate! This is incredible!! You’re busy being awesome!!!”

And I feel like I need to say this again – please know that I don’t share this in some kind of weird humble brag – gross.

I say this because I know I’m not the only one who dismisses them like this.

I see the same dismissal of hard work and accomplishment in my coaching clients. And I’m willing to bet you do the same at times, too.

Here are some of the recent wins my clients shared with me:

• They sold the houses. (yes, multiple in a short time frame)
• They got the job.
• They finished the certification.
• They hosted an unforgettable event.

And instead of feeling proud, they feel… nothing.

Their brain instantly skipped to the next problem. The next fire. The next goal. Why? Because their brains said that doing the thing — completing the website, nailing that podcast interview, managing the project — was what they were “supposed” to do…

Which means it’s “not that big of a deal.” And that celebration would be boastful or indulgent.

Now here’s the deal — it is uncomfortable to pause and actually feel success.

• Uncomfortable? Yes.
• Boastful and indulgent? For this audience, I can confidently say absolutely not.

So today, we’re unpacking why that happens — why we avoid pausing and allowing ourselves to recognize our accomplishments, especially those of us with ADHD brains, and what we can do to actually feel our wins.

Let’s dive in.

Why We Struggle To Recognize Our Achievements

Let’s start by naming what’s happening, because if your brain tends to downplay your wins and you keep chasing that feeling of “enough” but never quite land on it… there’s a lot going on under the surface.

1. We avoid celebration due to “Success Amnesia.”

This is the moment when your brain skips right past the thing you just worked so hard to do. You “finish”… and then you immediately move on.

Why does that happen? Several reasons, actually…

Our brains crave novelty

Once the goal is achieved, it’s old news. The brain is already scanning for what’s next. Honestly, I’m often scanning for what’s next well before I finish the current thing, and I’m so excited to get started it!

Dopamine is strongest in pursuit

As I’ve talked about in past episodes, dopamine is most often released in the pursuit of something. We often feel more motivation and excitement while we’re working toward the goal than after we hit it.

Wins don’t register unless we mark them

So many of us are often focused on the next thing, if we don’t pause to name the accomplishment — to acknowledge the energy it took — our brain just sees it as another item on the list. One that’s already done. Time to keep going.

In addition to the focus on novelty and fresh ideas, there are additional obstacles, too. For example:

Working memory friction

There are many times when our brains simply forget just how much effort we put in. If it happened last week (or even yesterday), it might already feel blurry.

This is even more exaggerated if we’ve accomplished something within an area of strength, because it’s harder to recognize the skillset we’re bringing to the table in the areas that come more naturally to us.

Our brains move FAST!

Our brains move so quickly that after finishing something, it’s easy to start thinking about the next fire or errand we have before we’ve even had a moment to reflect.

We rarely stop to integrate and actually feel that sense of accomplishment for doing the thing.

We struggle to follow through or “close the loop”

This is a big one. And not necessarily that we “never finish anything,” which is probably what your brain tells you.

Instead, we rarely pause to define what “done” is, so our brain never registers that we actually reached it. When we don’t know what done is, we can’t actually get there. Without that clear loop closure, we don’t naturally pause or recognize the moment for what it is.

All of this combines into that weird feeling of “I know I did something… but it doesn’t feel like much.”

• So we try to lean in. Maybe even say something like, “Hey, that was a big deal…”
• Then the discomfort creeps in. That flutter of awkwardness. The pull to downplay. The inner voice that says, “Don’t get too full of yourself.”

Honestly, that’s why I was giving all those disclaimers earlier. Even talking about wins on this podcast had my brain wanting to shout, “Wait! I’m not bragging, I promise!”

2. Feeling Proud Might Feel Uncomfortable

So many of us find that feeling proud can be wildly uncomfortable. And that discomfort usually has a few layers.

We’ve been taught that pride = arrogance.

Maybe you heard things like:

• “Don’t brag.”
• “No one likes a show-off.”
• “Stay humble.”
• “Don’t get too big for your britches.”
• Or the one that really sticks for so many of us: “You’re too much.”

Over time, we learn that allowing that sense of accomplishment and being proud of what you did is something to hide.

Heck, I’m pretty sure pride is the very first of the seven deadly sins in Christianity. And whether or not you were raised in that tradition, it’s absolutely in the cultural water.

The kind of pride we’re talking about today, that so many of us struggle to let ourselves feel, is not the same thing as arrogance or thinking we’re better than everyone else.

• I’m not talking about the version of pride that shows up in the seven deadly sins.
• I’m not talking about the kind that says, “I don’t need help. I’m better than you.”
• I’m not talking about the kind that refuses to acknowledge limits or our interdependence.

What we’re talking about here is healthy pride. It’s grounded self-recognition.

• It’s the quiet moment of “That was hard, and I did it.”
• It’s “I’m really proud of how I showed up.”
• It’s “I’m allowed to see what’s working.”

And if that still feels uncomfortable, that makes total sense.

Especially if we grew up in environments where pride was confused with bragging, or we were shamed for it, or where humility was always the default.

In fact, many of us learned that if we do feel proud of ourselves, we had better downplay it, brush it off, or explain it away so we don’t seem full of ourselves.

The problem is, when we keep downplaying our success… we stop letting ourselves feel it at all.

First and foremost, of course, it feels uncomfortable to celebrate the thing. We’ve been taught not to.

3. There’s fear in letting our guard down

This is a big one. For many of us, feeling proud brings up a surprising amount of vulnerability.

Pride, real, grounded pride often requires us to pause so we can…

• Acknowledge something meaningful.
• Take up space.
• Soften for a moment and feel good.

For a lot of ADHD brains — especially those shaped by high expectations, perfectionism, or rejection sensitivity — this pause can feel dangerous.

Our brain might whisper:

• “If I celebrate, I’ll jinx it.”
• “The other shoe is definitely about to drop.”
• “If I let myself feel good about this, someone’s going to come along and take it away.”

It feels safer to stay in motion. To keep striving. To stay just a little bit ahead of the next problem, deadline, or disappointment. Because when we’re moving, we’re in control. We’re solving. We’re preparing.

There’s another layer, one we don’t always name. Letting ourselves feel proud can also open us up to rejection. What if we do celebrate? What if we share our excitement — we say, “Hey, this mattered to me. I’m proud of this”, and someone else scoffs? Rolls their eyes? Says, “That’s not a big deal.” Even worse — what if they say it out loud?

That tiny comment can feel crushing and even shame-inducing.

It confirms our brain’s worst fear: “I was too much. I was wrong to be proud.” So, of course, we don’t want to let our guard down. Of course, it feels safer to stay in motion, stay humble, stay quiet.

The problem with this: When we never let our guard down and let ourselves feel the satisfaction, we rob ourselves of the chance to feel grounded, capable, and connected to what we’ve already accomplished, and to ever get close to believing that what we’ve done is enough.

When we don’t allow ourselves to feel that sense of accomplishment, we keep chasing the next thing, the next goal, the next achievement, hoping that it will finally…

• Be the moment that makes us feel complete.
• Quiet the “not enough” voice.
• Let us believe we’ve made it.

But that moment doesn’t come from the next thing. It comes from learning how to pause – how to see what we’ve done, and how to let ourselves feel proud — even if it’s just for a second.

4. We’re afraid to slow down

There’s the belief that slowing down will somehow stall our progress or make us fall behind

Our brains worry:

• “If I stop to feel this, I’ll lose momentum.”
• “If I rest, I won’t start again.”

We get so focused on forward motion that even a moment of celebration feels risky. It feels like we’re slacking, or letting something drop.

But what if making time to actually feel that sense of accomplishment and mark the success is not indulgent…

What if it’s one of the most important and sustainable things we can do?

Why Acknowledging & Celebrating Your Wins Is So Important

If we never feel a sense of arrival or let ourselves feel proud, then no matter how far we go, it’s never going to feel like enough.

When we never let ourselves feel a win — when we don’t pause, don’t mark it, don’t let it register — we miss out on one of the most powerful forms of fuel we have.

If we don’t celebrate our wins, we miss out on the chance to: Replenish our energy, anchor in a sense of capability, and let the effort mean something.

Instead, we keep running on empty, this is one of the fastest paths to burnout.

Because we’re doing so much – working so hard, and we never feel the payoff, so we keep pushing harder, thinking that’s the solution.

We tell ourselves we’ll feel better when the next thing is done. We’ll rest once we get “there.”

Here’s the catch: If we don’t practice pausing now, we won’t know how to pause then, either. If we don’t feel proud here, we won’t feel proud there, either.

Think about the last thing you told yourself:

• “It’ll feel so good once we move to the new place.”
• “When I get the new job, everything will finally settle.”
• “Once I hit that savings number, then I’ll breathe.”
• “When I finally launch the podcast, I’ll be proud.”
• “Once I sign the next contract or make the next sale, then I’ll feel good.”

And then what?

Did everything turn into rainbows and sunshine forevermore? My guess is… no. Unless we pause and let it land, our brains just keep scanning for the next thing…

• A new problem
• The next to-do
• The next milestone we’re “supposed” to hit in hopes that the next thing might be “it.”

Feeling proud doesn’t come from ticking the right number of boxes. It comes from noticing what we’ve done — thinking to ourselves some version of, “heck yes. I did this.” And letting ourselves feel it.

When we allow ourselves to feel the success, we can slow down and experience that sense of accomplishment, and we begin…

• Building greater resilience to follow through.
• Deepening our motivation to dive into the next project.
• Creating emotional closure on what we’ve accomplished.

And most importantly? We show our brain that what we’re doing matters. And we matter, too.

4 Ways to Recognize Your Wins

So, how can we practice feeling proud, especially when it doesn’t come naturally?

This isn’t about throwing a parade or boasting about how amazing you are to anyone who will listen and smattering everything you’ve ever done on social media. You don’t have to share it with anyone else if you don’t want to.

This is about building gentle, doable practices to help our brains register what we’ve done.

Here are a few ways to start.

1. Name the win – Out loud & On purpose

This is the first step, and honestly, it’s huge.

>> Say the thing you’ve achieved — even if it feels silly.

Say it to yourself, to a partner, to your coach, in your journal, it doesn’t matter where you say it.

Allow yourself to acknowledge:

• “I did that.”
• “That was hard. And I showed up anyway.”
• “This matters.”

Here’s why saying your accomplishments out loud is important:

• Helps your brain register what happened. ADHD brains move fast — we skip past things. Saying the words – either out loud or internally to ourselves – slows us down enough to notice the moment.
• Makes the win real. When we hear ourselves say it, it’s like our brain flags it as more important. Kind of like when we talk through something with a friend and suddenly it clicks.
• Reinforces the fact that you succeeded. If you do speak it out loud or write it down, it adds another sensory channel. It adds that extra layer and helps reinforce the message: you did something.

Tip: Record your wins in my Count Your Wins journal — that’s literally why I created it.

This creates a breadcrumb trail of evidence you can come back to on the days when your brain tries to convince you that you’ve done absolutely nothing all year. (Which it will. Repeatedly.)

So say it. Out loud. On purpose. Let your brain hear the truth.

2. Practice saying thank you (to yourself)

This might sound so cringe to many of you. And if you feel SO incredibly awkward even thinking about thanking yourself, please know it’s normal, especially if you’re used to brushing off praise or immediately focusing on what could’ve gone better.

Thanking yourself, however, is a quiet, powerful way to reinforce self-trust.

Try saying:

• “Thank you for sticking with this.”
• “I’m proud of you for seeing it through.”
• “Thanks for taking the first step even when it felt hard.”

Here’s why it matters:

• It shifts your relationship with yourself. Instead of constantly demanding more, it builds a dynamic of appreciation and partnership — like saying, “Hey, I see what you’re doing. And it matters.”
• It creates closure. A simple thank-you helps mark the moment and bring it to a natural pause. It allows the brain to feel a sense of completion before shifting to the next thing.
• It counters the inner critic. Every thank-you is a soft interruption to the part of your brain that says, “You didn’t do enough.” And every interruption makes it easier to believe a different story next time.

Start small. Notice one area. Thank yourself. It might be simply in your mind: Hey, thanks for doing that. I know it’s wasn’t super fun. I appreciate you sticking with it.

3. Borrow belief when it’s too far away

Sometimes, feeling that genuine sense of accomplishment —feeling proud of yourself for something — seems too far out of reach. Especially if we’re in a season of burnout or deep self-doubt. That’s when it’s time to borrow some belief.

Try asking yourself:

What would past me say if she could see me now?

Would she be in awe, feel hopeful? Would she think, “Heck yeah! This is amazing!”

What would someone who gets me & knows my day-to-day say to me?

A best friend. A partner. A therapist. A coach. Someone who’s seen how hard you’ve worked, even when no one else did.

What would I think if I saw someone else do this?

Would I be impressed? Inspired? Would I think they deserved a break or a celebration? Even just a pause and a – “Hey, that’s awesome! Way to go!” (Spoiler: if you’d celebrate them, you also deserve that recognition.)

Why this works:

• First, it opens the door. You don’t have to force a feeling that’s not there, but I think it’s helpful to at least pause and make room for it as you acknowledge that you did the thing.
• Second, it interrupts the all-or-nothing thinking. You don’t have to go from “this isn’t a big deal” to “this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so amazing!” That’s just unrealistic and will not actually feel good. You’ll know you’re bs-ing yourself. So instead, you might try something like, “It’s possible that doing this mattered more than I think.”

So again, we’re opening the door to allowing the emotion while simultaneously challenging the all-or-nothing thinking.

If you can’t own the win fully today? No problem, borrow the belief. Lean on past you, future you, or someone who loves you, and remind yourself: we’re learning how to feel proud — and that’s enough for today.

4. Capture the win — in your own words & theirs

I’ve found that when my ability to tap into the feeling of success wavers, it can be helpful to have something tangible to come back to.

That’s where I think it can be incredibly helpful to create a system for collecting both your own reflections and external reminders that capture what you’ve done.

Here are some examples:

Keep a running doc or email folder of kind words

It can include so much good stuff:

• Positive feedback
• Glowing reviews
• Thank-you messages
• Compliments from clients, friends, or coworkers.

I have a folder in my inbox literally called “Kind Words,” and anytime I get positive feedback or a nice review or a client shares something thoughtful or whatever, I add it to that folder so I can remind myself anytime I’m feeling doubt creep in.

Screenshot A text & save it in your phone app

Start building a little “proof file” in a folder of your photos that reminds you: this mattered.

Add your own reflections

After a big project or tiny win, take 60 seconds to jot down what worked, what you’re proud of, and what surprised you.

👉 Tip: If you’re using the Count Your Wins Journal, tuck some of those screenshots or printed notes into the back pages for a little “win vault.”

Why it works:

• It reinforces the reality. Again, our ADHD brains struggle with working memory, so having tangible proof — both internal and external — makes it easier to remember the truth on hard days.
• It gives you fuel to keep going. When imposter syndrome creeps in or your brain says you’re not doing enough, you can open that folder and remind yourself: Yes, I am.
• It helps you build a balanced picture. Our brains naturally focus on what’s wrong. This strategy helps rebalance the scale — not by ignoring challenges, but by remembering the wins alongside them.

This isn’t about ego or external validation. It’s about building a library of reminders that say: “This mattered. And I played a part.”

Remember This…

It’s never a waste of time to stop to recognize what you just accomplished. You get to mark the moment, feel the win, pause, and let it land.

That moment of acknowledgment? That breath of recognition? It’s not indulgent. It’s not boastful. I promise that it won’t make you too big for your britches.

What I want to offer today is this… Pausing to experience that contentment and satisfaction in the work we do is how we…

• Replenish
• Build self-trust
• Start seeing that what we’re doing matters

So if you’ve skipped past a win recently — big or small — this is your invitation to go back and name it now.

Even if it’s just to yourself. Even if it’s just for a second, because you did it, so let yourself feel it – and enjoy it.

👉 Want to take these concepts further and apply them to your life? Learn more about how we can work together with my small group coaching program, “We’re Busy Being Awesome,” and one-on-one coaching.

Links From The Podcast

• Learn more about private coaching here
• Learn more about We’re Busy Being Awesome here
• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Take my free course, ADHD Routine Revamp
• Get the physical copy of your Count Your Wins journal here
• Get the PDF version of Count Your Wins here

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