Front End Vs. Back End Perfectionism & Your ADHD

Perfectionism can be a tricky beast, especially for those of us with ADHD. You may not even identify with being a perfectionist, however, as we explore why ADHD adults often struggle with perfectionism plus discuss the two main types of perfectionism (back-end and front-end) I think you’ll see the connection.

If you ever think,  “I’m always so far behind; there’s no time to make things perfect!” Or “I couldn’t possibly be a perfectionist; nothing I ever do is perfect.” stick with me. Those thoughts may be a sign of some sneaky perfectionism at play.

In episode 262 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we explore the often surprising ways perfectionism hides in plain sight. Even if you don’t see yourself as a perfectionist, this episode may offer intriguing insights. 

Join me as we unravel hidden perfectionist patterns, share real-life stories, and discuss practical tips to break free from the cycle of perfectionism. 

Listen to the episode below, stream it on your favorite podcasting app here, or watch the YouTube video. Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the full blog post.

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 262: Front End Vs. Back End Perfectionism & Your ADHD You’ll Discover:

• Why adults with ADHD struggle with perfectionism so often
• The difference between front-end and back-end perfectionism
• How to recognize where and when perfectionism shows up in your life (and what to do about it)

Before we jump in, check out my latest group coaching program – I’d love to see you there!

Understanding Perfectionism and Its Correlation to ADHD

Let’s start by defining what perfectionism really is. The dictionary definition is “refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.”

The truth is, perfectionism can be a bit confusing because it shows up and impacts us in many different ways. But despite these differences, there are some common threads that weave through the perfectionist experience.

If you struggle with perfectionism, you probably (not surprisingly) focus a lot on doing things perfectly. But I want to stress that your brain might not use that specific word. 

For example, if the word perfectionism doesn’t quite resonate with you, I’d invite you to think about how often your brain searches for the “right” way to do something or the “best” approach.

You might find yourself thinking, “I just want to do it right. I want to make sure it’s good enough for this person or that event.” 

When in reality, when we slow down to check in about what “enough” means, we realize “enough” is a completely unrealistic perfectionist fantasy. In fact, many of us set our standards so high that, literally, no one could reach them. However, because we don’t pause to question this, our brains just accept it as fact, and we don’t see it as perfectionism. 

Then, when we add the negative self-talk and criticism that so many of us navigate, it becomes even more challenging to recognize our perfectionism. Again, it just seems like a fact: we couldn’t possibly be perfectionists because we never do anything that’s good enough.

Your brain might think, “how could I be a perfectionist when nothing is ever perfect?”

Sound familiar? 

This continuous striving for perfection puts us under immense pressure

We end up living in a constant state of stress, always feeling like we don’t measure up and aren’t good enough. And we’re often hustling to prove ourselves, to get more done, to do “enough.”

Now, here’s the deal. Based on what I’ve shared, some of you listening might identify with this topic, while others might not.

You might be thinking, “Oh, I’m definitely not a perfectionist. I never do anything right.” But that thought itself—”I’m definitely not a perfectionist since I never do anything perfectly or ‘right’” is actually a classic example of perfectionist thinking. 

Last week in my small group coaching program, We’re Busy Being Awesome we dove into the topic of perfectionism and one of my clients shared shared “This has been one of my biggest a-ha moments in learning about ADHD! I NEVER defined myself as a perfectionist because holy moly, I was always JUST getting it done, didn’t even have time to double check for errors much less make sure it was perfect.”

It turns out, it was one of the sneakiest blocks for her. As I mentioned, perfectionism shows up in so MANY tricky ways.

The ADHD Connection to Perfectionism

Issues with Cognitive Flexibility

Many of us adults with ADHD struggle with cognitive flexibility, which is one of the executive functions impacted by an ADHD brain.

When we think about cognitive flexibility, we essentially think of our brain’s flexibility—its ability to see the gray areas in life.

Cognitive flexibility allows us to adapt to new situations, switch our thinking, and see things from multiple perspectives. It’s like mental gymnastics.

However, when you have ADHD, this flexibility can be compromised, making it difficult to move away from rigid, black-and-white thinking. Instead of seeing a spectrum of possibilities, our brains often lock into an all-or-nothing mindset.

How does this tie into perfectionism?

Well, perfectionism thrives in this black-and-white world. It’s all about extremes—doing something perfectly or not at all.

This kind of thinking can be paralyzing because it doesn’t leave room for mistakes, learning, or growth.

It creates an environment where anything less than perfect feels like a failure, and that’s a heavy burden to carry.

For instance, let’s say you’re working on a big project or goal and hit a snag.

• Someone with more cognitive flexibility might think, “Okay, this isn’t going as planned, but I can adjust and find another way.”
• On the other hand, someone navigating less flexibility – many of us with ADHD – might naturally think something like, “I’ve messed up again. This is a disaster. I’ll never get it right.”

This rigid mindset not only fuels perfectionism but also heightens anxiety and stress, making it even harder to break free from the cycle.

We Overcompensate Due to Our ADHD Obstacles

We think we need to hustle, perfect, and prove ourselves to show that we’re good enough and can keep up with everyone else.

Plus, many of us with ADHD brains and ADHD tendencies tend to struggle with a fear of failing or disappointing other people.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely had times in the past where you’ve dropped the ball or missed the mark. These experiences can be painful and embarrassing, which then leads us to adopt perfectionistic behaviors as a means of protection.

Our brains genuinely believe that if we can just make everything perfect, it’s like insurance and prevents those feelings of shame and guilt from happening again.

Us ADHDers Set Unrealistic Goals

Similarly, our ADHD brains tend to set impossible or unrealistic goals for ourselves.

Our struggle with time blindness, combined with our flood of brilliant ideas, often leads us to set ambitious goals and genuinely believe we can achieve them within the timelines we set.

However, when we get those timelines wrong we beat ourselves up if we miss the mark, turning what could have been a learning experience into yet another shame spiral of self-criticism.

On top of this, if we somehow manage to reach our unreasonable standards, rather than celebrating ourselves, we often see it as evidence that we could have or should have done more. Or we don’t recognize the accomplishment at all and instead think, “Of course, this is what’s supposed to happen. This is nothing remarkable. This is the expectation.”

Honestly – it’s hard to ever win when we’re really locked into the perfectionist mindset. 

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Underneath this push for perfectionism is having a sense of inadequacy. Many of us are hustling to prove our worth and show others that we are good enough and that we belong.

While this can be a painful truth to see, I also think that when we can understand this underlying drive through the lens of ADHD, it’s a powerful first step in addressing and working through our perfectionist tendencies, which ultimately allows us to find a healthier approach to setting and managing expectations.

2 Key Types of Perfectionism

First of all, as we’ve seen, many of us rely on perfectionism to overcompensate for the challenges and obstacles we face because of our ADHD.

We think we need to hustle, perfect, and prove ourselves to show that we’re good enough and can keep up with everyone else. Second of all, it can present itself as a form of procrastination.

We’re so afraid of criticism, bad feedback, or doing it wrong that we hold ourselves back by continuously tweaking and perfecting, missing deadlines, or never getting our work out into the world.

These reasons can be seen through the two lenses of front-end perfectionism and back-end perfectionism. 

I’m starting with backend perfectionism because this is the version that I think most people are familiar with. Then, we are going to look at front-end perfectionism, which is the form I think is the most sneaky and unfamiliar to people. This is likely the version that trips up those of you think think to yourself, “I’m not a perfectionist. I don’t deal with perfectionism.”

Back-End Perfectionism

Back-end perfectionism is a very familiar challenge for many of us with ADHD, and it often shows up as an obsessive focus on refining and perfecting a task after we’ve already started. And this constant tweaking and editing usually prevents us from ever finishing the thing. 

For those of you familiar with this flavor of perfectionism, you know it can be incredibly frustrating.

It often leads to:

• Missed deadlines
• Increased stress
• Missed opportunities
• A general hit on our productivity because we often struggle to finish that last 20% – we then carry this around as a pile of unfinished projects that get increasingly heavy over time. 

One of the main signs of back-end perfectionism is the relentless drive to make every detail flawless.

This might mean spending hours refining a document’s formatting, adjusting sentence phrasing, or ensuring every visual element of a presentation is impeccable. While paying attention to detail can be beneficial, excessive perfectionism can become a major barrier to actually completing the task.

Let’s look at some common back-end perfectionism scenarios…

Editing & Re-editing

You might find yourself reviewing the same piece of work multiple times, each time finding new “imperfections” to fix. This cycle can become a form of procrastination, as the fear of finalizing and submitting the work keeps you trapped in a loop of perpetual revisions.

Writing and Re-writing every sentence

It might also look like painstakingly writing and rewriting every sentence – even though it’s technically the first draft – which makes the entire situation incredibly slow and tedious.

And if you have a brain like mine, it likely results in more perfectionism coming out like, “I should be faster at this. I’m such a slow writer. Why can’t I do this faster like everyone else?”

Fear of Criticism

The fear of criticism or negative feedback often drives back-end perfectionism big time. For many of us with ADHD, the anxiety about how others will perceive our work can be paralyzing.

This fear can lead to an obsession with making the work perfect; some part of our brain believes that if we can make “it just right,” we can avoid criticism and gain approval. However, this fear of criticism often results in significant delays in completing tasks both on the big scale and small scale.

Imposter Syndrome

When we doubt our abilities and feel like frauds, we may believe that our work must be flawless to prove our competence.

This can lead to overcompensating through excessive revisions and edits, which ironically can erode confidence and make our feelings of inadequacy even stronger.

New to the idea of imposter syndrome or want to dive into it further? Check out this post: How to Deal with ADHD & Imposter Syndrome + 5 Competence Types

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A Personal Example

I can’t remember if I mentioned this on the podcast before or not, but when I was still in academia and writing my book — this was before my ADHD diagnosis, before I knew anything about Rejection Sensitivity or how intense my perfectionism was — I got feedback from Readers A and B. 

In the academic world, your work is usually evaluated by single-blind or double-blind reviews.

• Double-blind means you don’t know who the readers are, and they don’t know who you are. They just give feedback.
• Single-blind reviews mean that they know who you are, but you don’t know who they were…which is literally THE WORST when you deal with serious rejection sensitivity. And the single blind approach was the way my university press worked. 

I finally got a draft of my book to the editor, who sent it out for the reviewers, and — per usual — reader A offered thoughtful, helpful constructive criticism which helped strengthen my book and my arguments, while reader B made it (at least how my brain experienced it) made their feedback a personal attack on me. 

I offer all of this long back story to get to the final point, which is that I literally didn’t touch my book again for 6-7 months, and didn’t actually finish it for a year. Because I didn’t know I had ADHD or how to support myself and work with my perfectionism and reflection sensitivity after receiving criticism reader B, my book publishing process essentially took an extra YEAR.

So when I tell you I know how real that fear is of other people’s opinions, I promise you, I get it. 

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Perfectionism can make us lose sight of the bigger picture

Instead of focusing on the overall goal or purpose of a project, we become fixated on minor details.

This tunnel vision can lead to an imbalance in time management, where we spend an inordinate amount of time on aspects of the task that may not significantly impact the final outcome.

I’m looking at you, font choices, formatting, color schemes, finding the “right” image, writing and re-writing the opening few lines of your email and never even getting to the body of the message. It shows up everywhere.

This constant pressure to perform and do everything perfectly can often lead to burnout. Constantly striving for perfection is exhausting and unsustainable. The emotional and mental toll of trying to meet impossibly high standards often leads to fatigue, decreased motivation, and ultimately, a decline in overall performance and well-being.

How To Improve Back-End Perfectionism

A key aspect of moving through back-end perfectionism is learning to set realistic standards and recognizing when a task is “good enough.”

This involves:

• Shifting our mindset from seeking perfection to valuing progress and completion
• Learning to embrace the concept of “done is better than perfect,” which can help us move forward and complete tasks without getting bogged down in endless revisions.

Before you start taking action on all of this, however, the most important thing you can do is… Bring awareness and curiosity to the situation.

• When does it come up most often?
• How do you feel when it does?
• Is it more often at work? At home? In relationships?
• When doing specific types of projects at work?

Get curious and start increasing your awareness — without judgment — of where backend perfectionism shows up most often for you. 

Front-End Perfectionism

As I mentioned earlier, front-end perfectionism is a super common challenge for many of us with ADHD, but most of us don’t recognize it as perfectionism. Instead, we call ourselves procrastinators.

Front-end perfectionism is the tendency to delay starting on a task because we believe everything needs to be perfect before we can begin. 

Just like back-end perfectionism, this can show up in different ways, for example: Telling yourself you can’t get started on your lesson plans until the kitchen is perfectly clean or you need to have every resource on hand. Or you need to have the entire plan perfectly mapped out. Or you need to feel totally prepared and motivated before you get started.

Just like back-end perfectionism, front-end perfectionism also stems from this deep-seated fear of making mistakes or not meeting our own high standards. But rather than getting started, we don’t. The fear prevents us from even taking that first step.

Let’s look at examples where front-end perfectionism can be prevalent.

Planning

People who navigate a lot of front-end perfectionism may see it presented as a need for excessive planning. We might spend an inordinate amount of time creating detailed plans, schedules, and outlines, convincing ourselves that we need to have everything figured out before we start.

It’s this “fantasy planning approach” where we not only stop ourselves from getting started because we spend SO much time planning, but we also create completely unreasonable plans that are impossible for any human to carry out in the time allowed. 

Need to clear our to-do lists before tackling a significant project

You might think something like: “I can’t begin working on this project until I have all my emails read and answered.” Or “I’ll get started on this after I get these notes typed up for XYZ colleague.” Or “After I finish breaking down these boxes or putting away the laundry or unloading the dishwasher.” 

Now here’s the deal, there is nuance here. Some of us do better with a bit of an onramp of smaller wins like addressing emails and checking off smaller tasks before we dive into the big project.

However, there’s also a difference between knowing the specific smaller tasks you’re going to do and doing them before starting the project, and having a regular habit of always doing the smaller things because they have to get done first before you can begin.

When it’s the latter, it’s often front-end perfectionism serving as a distraction from the more critical and demanding tasks that require our focus and creativity.

Research Preparation

We might tell ourselves, “I can’t begin writing until all my research is complete or I’ve finished reading all the articles on this topic.” This desire to be thoroughly prepared can lead to an excessive amount of time spent gathering information, leaving little to no time for the actual writing or creation process. So, once again, this pursuit of “perfect” preparation slows or completely halts our progress.

Avoidance Procrastination

This occurs when we delay starting a task because it seems too difficult or overwhelming. The thought of not knowing how to approach a task or the fear of potential failure can be paralyzing.

We tell ourselves, “I might do it wrong,” and this fear of imperfection leads to a complete freeze, preventing any action from being taken.

Similarly, we might tell ourselves there’s a “right way” to do this, and we don’t know the “right way”, so we can’t start. We might believe that we need to know every step of the process and have all the answers before we start.

And again, this often results in a perpetual state of preparation, where we never feel totally equipped to move forward, so we stay in that frustrating spin cycle where we don’t get started, and we adopt the label of being a “procrastinator” when, in reality, it’s front-end perfectionism getting in the way.

Desire To Avoid Discomfort

The last component I want to offer about front-end perfectionism may feel a bit confronting to hear, but I think it’s important to mention. Front-end perfectionism can often be fueled—at least in part—by the desire to avoid discomfort.

Starting a new task or project or working toward a new goal can be incredibly uncomfortable and challenging, especially when we are uncertain about the outcome or whether or not we can do it. Or if we’ve never done it before and we’re not sure about the steps.

And—often unknowingly—the brain avoids that discomfort temporarily by creating more things you need to do first before actually getting started.

But, of course, this delayed start really only prolongs the inevitable, and usually, our anxiety, stress, and overwhelm only increase with that added time.

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Front-end perfectionism is an often overlooked yet incredibly significant barrier to getting things done with an ADHD brain. It takes many different forms, from needing a perfect environment to excessive preparation and fear of failure.

I’ll be very curious to hear if this one lands with those of you who otherwise don’t identify with perfectionistic tendencies. Seriously, please let me know over on instagram. Send me a DM @imbusybeingawesome; I’d love to connect. 

Recap & Next Steps

I know I threw a lot of information at you today, and to my fellow perfectionists, your brain may be seeking the next “best” step to take to release some of its perfectionist grip.

I want to offer that it takes time. If you search perfectionism on my website, you will find several different episodes about this topic because it’s one that I continually wrestle with, too. It gets quicker and easier each round up the spiral staircase, but it still comes around in different forms. And that’s okay. 

The first, most important, and most impactful step you can take to help release both front-end and back-end perfectionism is create awareness of where it shows up for you most often.

Start recognizing the patterns and understanding—without judgment—why the brain thinks doing it perfectly in this particular situation is so important. Get curious. S

ee what you can learn about yourself and your brain in these moments. I’m telling you, this is so key.

So if you’re looking for specific action steps, that’s it. Start catching and categorizing those moments.

• When does front-end perfectionism pop up for you?
• What about back-end perfectionism?
• What are the reasons for it in this particular circumstance?
• Are you worried about bad feedback from your boss?
• Does your brain think there’s a “right way” to start a podcast so you need to research everything first?
• What’s happening when those moments come up, and what can we learn from them?

Want to take this work even deeper?

I’d love to work with you. If you’re listening to this in real-time, we’re gearing up for the August cohort of We’re Busy Being Awesome.

This is a small, intimate group of incredible ADHD brains who get it. They know what it’s like to navigate all the daily struggles we face from time management and organization to perfectionism and procrastination to emotional dysregulation and a struggle with transitions.

So, if you’re looking for a supportive space where you can connect and get support from me on your specific obstacles, I’d love to see you there. Learn More!

Looking for one-on-one support?

If you are looking for one-on-one coaching support connect with me at imbusybeingawesome.com/private-coaching.

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All right, my friends. That’s going to do it for us this week. And if you know someone who would love to learn more about navigating front-end and back-end perfectionism, would you be a rockstar and share this episode with them?

You could send it to them in a text message or snap a screenshot and share it on your IG stories. Be sure to tag me @imbusybeingawesome so I can give you a shout out! Because I truly appreciate you for listening and for helping me get these tools to even more ADHD brains who need them.

👉 Also, have you grabbed my free ebook, 10 Tips to Work with Your ADHD? It is filled with actionable strategies that you can use to help reduce your overwhelm, reclaim your time, and get things done. Get access HERE.

Until next time, keep being awesome.

Links From The Podcast

• Learn more about We’re Busy Being Awesome here
• Learn about 1:1 coaching here
• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources here
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System here
• Get the Podcast Roadmap here
• Get the ADHD Routine Revamp here
• Episode 140: How to Deal with ADHD & Imposter Syndrome + Five Competence Types

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