How To Avoid Overwhelm and Getting Stuck In The Details

When was the last time you felt so overwhelmed by project details that your brain completely “checked out?”

When did you last find yourself lost in the minutia of your plans, completely forgetting about the bigger picture overall?

If you have an ADHD brain like mine, it was probably pretty recent.

The truth is this.

Those of us with ADHD tend to experience overwhelm a lot.

It often occurs when we find ourselves:

• Lost and getting stuck in the details
• Debating between countless tiny options
• Convinced we must make the one “right” choice.

If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you’re in the right place.

In episode 207 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we explore why our brains get stuck in these tiny details, how to recognize when it’s happening, and what we can do to pull ourselves out. 

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In Episode #207, How To Avoid Overwhelm and Getting Stuck In The Details, You’ll Discover

• Why it’s so easy for our ADHD brains to feel overwhelmed 
• How to recognize when you’re slipping into overwhelm
• How to pull yourself out of getting stuck in the details and create clarity about the next step forward

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Episode #207: How To Avoid Overwhelm & Getting Stuck In The Details (Transcript) 

As you may know, about a month ago, I did a 3-day training on navigating overwhelm called Overwhelm to Action.

The incredible interest people had in the training and the turnout and engagement from everyone at the training was such a clear and powerful reminder of how prominent this emotion of overwhelm is for those of us with ADHD. It can also really derail us when we don’t have the proper supports in place.

I was inspired to take the next two episodes to dive further into the topic of overwhelm for that exact reason.

Overwhelm is an emotion we all know SO well.

In fact, ADHD brains are prone to experience overwhelm more often than someone without ADHD. It’s an emotion that can really derail us without the proper support.

So that’s exactly what we’re going to do over the next two episodes.

We’re talking about what those supports can look like and – because so many of us learn better with examples – specific examples of how we can put these supports in place.

What To Expect From This Episode

Now to prepare for this episode, I decided to read through the comments that people shared in the chat during the three-day training.

I figured if I’m going to share strategies to navigate overwhelm, I might as well use specific, real-life examples from people in our busy awesome community.

Not only does this allow me to answer questions for those who came to the training but maybe didn’t raise their hand for coaching. Also, I think hearing these real-life examples does a great job of providing that incredibly important reminder that we’re not alone.

I say this because I’m guessing you will relate to each of the examples that we explore over the next two episodes, and each example I share was literally written by somebody in our community less than a month ago.

If you’re anything like me, you know how easy it is to get down on yourself.

It’s so easy for our brains to think we’re the only ones who struggle with this. We think we’re the only ones who can’t seem to get our act together. But I promise you – that’s just not true.

Over the next two episodes, I’m going to share:

• Different examples – anonymously of course – of real-life situations where people in our busy-awesome community are navigating overwhelm
• How we might think about these situations to stop that spin, feel a bit more grounded, and create some clarity around next steps

Most of us, when we get into the overwhelm spin cycle, we get stuck. We…

• Freeze up, unable to do anything, and we spin in our head trying to make decisions.
• Avoid the thing entirely – block it out of our mind – and scroll Instagram or play video games or buy stuff on Amazon.
• Go into overdrive trying to do all the things at once – often a lot of procrastiworking things – without making any real traction whatsoever.

My goal today is to help your brain see how implementing simple concepts and questions can help sidestep that spin. This way you can start taking action with greater ease.

Sound good?

Why We’re Overwhelmed

When I think about getting stuck in overwhelm, I often notice, for my clients and myself, that we tend to feel overwhelmed in two different scenarios. I’m sure there are others as well, but these are the two that stand out most prominently to me. We’re going to talk about one this week and one next week.

1. We Get Swamped With Details

The first type of overwhelm – the one we’re exploring today – tends to pop up when we are swamped with details.

We find that we’re really stuck in the weeds and can’t seem to decipher what’s actually important.

We’re focused entirely on the minutiae – unable to identify what’s actually important – because prioritization is much harder for those of us with ADHD.

Our brains have a hard time distinguishing what matters from what doesn’t.

It seems like all the tiny details matter, so we don’t know what to do or where to start. Because when everything matters, nothing matters, and we get stuck.

This first type of overwhelm is summarized perfectly in the phrase, “you can’t see the forest for the trees.”

We have difficulty seeing the larger picture because we’re so stuck on the tiny details. We can’t see the forest because we’re so focused on each individual tree.

2. We Get Lost In The Big Picture

Then on the other side, which we’ll talk about next week, we find ourselves overwhelmed when we’re lost in the big picture.

This is when you look at a long-term, multi-step project or a major event like moving or changing jobs or planning a big trip, and the brain freezes up, thinking something like, “I have no idea where to start. I don’t know what to do. This just seems too big.”

We may find in situations like this that we also feel daunted when the project seems too big, or even discouraged or hopeless because we genuinely believe there’s no way we can get it all done.

Oftentimes the project is simply way too big to tackle at once, and the steps – if you know the steps at all – are super vague.

So we just don’t start.

If you’re familiar with this type of overwhelm, and you’ve been here before, you may also notice frustration and annoyance sneaking in, as your brain thinks, “This always happens. Why can’t I just take action? Why can’t I just get started?”

Again, I’m guessing you’re familiar with at least one of these scenarios, and more than likely, you’re familiar with both.

You’ve probably – at some point in your life – found yourself feeling overwhelmed thinking about all the tiny details, and you struggle to step back and see the forest. And you’ve probably also found yourself staring at a huge project, completely frozen, unsure of where to start.

What Is The Solution To Reducing Overwhelm?

So what can we do? How can we handle these different situations?

Let’s talk about specific examples within each category and learn how we can navigate the overwhelm and create clarity.

As I mentioned, I chose examples directly from what people shared in the chat in my Overwhelm to Action training last month, and I’ve made them anonymous.

I also tried to choose a variety of different topics so that we’re touching on many different situations.

So as you listen to these examples, challenge your brain to think about how each one might apply to your life.

Now, if on the surface, the situation doesn’t seem to apply to you. For example, let’s say I’m talking about somebody who has kids, but you don’t have kids – notice if your brain thinks, “This doesn’t apply to me.” If this is the case, and your brain wants to check out, challenge it to stay open and curious.

>> I promise you that when you look for it, you’ll find an important takeaway in the example for you and your unique situation as well.

So let’s dive in today looking at examples from the first category of overwhelm that I mentioned, which is getting stuck in the weeds and lost amidst all the tiny little details.

How can we zoom out and see the forest for the trees?

How can we pull back and remind ourselves of what actually matters without getting distracted by unnecessary noise?

Example 1: Meal Planning

The first example I picked is – I think – so incredibly relatable for probably every single person listening to this podcast at some point in their life. Again, maybe not the exact same situation, but some flavor of it.

This has to do with the topic of food, meals, and meal prep.

This person shared that they’re often lost in the weeds when it comes to planning and preparing meals for their family. 

They wrote,

“Mine is meal planning! I get so stuck in the weeds researching recipes. I try to save time by figuring out combinations of what I can make one night so I can use leftovers for something else another night. But that’s so hard to figure out, especially because one of my kids has severe allergies, and the other two are super picky, and I get totally stuck in the weeds with all of it. And honestly – I’m so crabby every night because I just can’t figure it out.”

So, first of all, I told you this is relatable, right?

You may not have kids with allergies or picky eaters, or you may not have kids at all. But I’m guessing you have spent more than enough time trying to figure out an efficient way to make meals.

• You’ve gone down the Pinterest recipe rabbit hole looking for delicious, easy, healthy recipes that require five ingredients or less and are ready in less than 20 minutes.
• You’ve signed up for meal services – or at least gone the down the rabbit hole comparing different meal service options multiple times, only to get completely overwhelmed from all the meal service options that after surfacing from the research, you don’t choose any of them.
  • And so you order from door dash again. Seriously, we’ve all dealt with mealtime drama. We’ve all gotten stuck in the weeds at some point.

What can we do in a situation like this?

First of all, we want to zoom out.

We can step back from the details of all the recipes, the Pinterest boards, and the allergy-friendly – meal prep – mix-and-match options.

In this situation, we want to ask ourselves,

What actually matters when it comes to feeding your family? What actually matters here?

For this example, perhaps what actually matters – when we get down to it – are three things.

1. Their family gets fed,
2. they don’t cook with the food allergens,
3. and they have at least one thing each person will eat on the table.

That’s what matters. Those three things.

Do you see how we went from making decisions about all of the recipes, and all of the approaches, and all of the cookbooks, and everything in the entire World Wide Web, and we zoomed out to three important things.

The family gets food. They don’t cook with allergens. Everybody has at least one thing they’ll eat.

Now that we know that, we can ask ourselves, “if I need to achieve those three criteria, what is an easy way I can make that happen?”

As you’ve probably heard me ask on the podcast before – because I love this question so much…

• How can I make this easy?
• Can I simplify this process?
• How can I reduce the need to make unnecessary decisions?

And as a side note – wherever you’re stuck in the weeds in your life right now, I encourage you to ask yourself these same questions. What matters most? And how can I make this easy?

In this example, maybe easy looks like finding 10-12 simple meals that fit the criteria of no food allergens and everyone likes at least one thing. Then we put those 10-12 meals on rotation every two weeks, which leaves a couple of days for leftovers, eating out, cereal for dinner, whatever.

When we pull back out of the weeds. When we drop the unnecessary rules that we must choose recipes that use leftovers from one meal and incorporate them into the next night’s meal, or we need new menu items at least once a week, or whatever other rules we have for ourselves.

And we instead focus on what matters the most – we reduce the overwhelm.

Again, in this specific example, the family gets fed. We don’t cook with allergens. Everybody has something they’ll eat.

And we have 10-12 recipes on rotation so we don’t have to make unnecessary decisions each night. Instead, we have a meal rotation that works. And should we want to play around with new recipes every once in a while, we can. But only because we want to.

Only because we don’t have as much overwhelm when we think about meals anymore because we know we have something reliable that works.

Make sense?

Example 2: Getting Stuck On Making A Choice

The other example I wanted to look at when it comes to getting stuck in the weeds focuses on a combination of both getting lost in options and decision-making, and also that sneaky obstacle of perfectionism.

Again, in both situations, we get stuck in analysis paralysis, lost in the detail of all the different.

Plus, our perfectionist brains sneak in saying, “I just want to make sure I choose the right option, or the best option,” or “I just want to make sure it looks good.”

They’re such innocent little thoughts, but they keep us stuck and spinning – often for much longer than we’d like.

So again, let’s zoom out.

How can we step back from the individual trees and see the forest? What actually matters here?

In situations like this, when we’re navigating perfectionism and analysis paralysis, rather than asking myself,

“What does ‘easy’ look like?” I love to ask myself,

“What does ‘done’ look like?”

I like this question so much because it helps the brain step back and really clarify what done is.

When you do this, I’m willing to bet that you will rarely find the answer to be something like this: “the invitation is printed using the Poppins font size 14 bold with italics on these certain words.” No! That’s not usually what comes to mind when we identify what done looks like.

Instead, when we answer the question about what done looks like, it’s a shortcut to reminding our brain about what actually matters when we’re creating invitations for a family member’s birthday.

What “done” looks like is having made invitations with all the important details. This includes the who, what, where, when, and information about how to RSVP. What is the party?

• Who is it for?
• Where is the party?
• When is it?
• How do we RSVP?

That’s what matters.

Maybe if you’re getting really specific, you also define done as the invitations printed and addressed and sent out by XYZ date.

But again, our definition of “done” did not include font sizes or colors.

When we ask ourselves to answer, what does “done” look like, we help our brain identify what actually matters most.

Identify In Advance When You Typically Get Stuck

Additionally, I want to offer one more key step if your brain tends to get stuck in the details and you find yourself overwhelmed by trying to choose the “right” or “best” option.

If you often notice that perfectionism or hyperfocus locks you into tiny decisions and tweaks for longer than you’d like – I encourage you to start practicing identifying it ahead of time.

I encourage you to ask yourself to build your awareness by asking yourself:

• Where do I usually get stuck in projects like this?
• Where do I anticipate I might get stuck as I go through this process?

Take a minute and identify those specific areas. It might be fonts, colors, formatting, or choosing specific images, or tweaking punctuation and sentence structure, etc.

You know your brain. Identify those areas where you spin and spend more time than you’d like to making these small adjustments.

Know What ‘Done’ Looks Like

From there, take a minute to identify what done looks like for that particular project.

So again, done looks like the invitations printed with the key what, who, where when and on them. They are addressed and ready to send out by Monday.

Or done is a new excel spreadsheet with the key data points at the top and the equations working properly so when we enter the data everything is calculated properly.

Once ‘Done’ – Then Give Yourself Permission To Tweak

Then, we throw your brain a bone – what a weird analogy. We’re not actually throwing your brain a bone. But we are going to create time for both. We’re not going to tell your brain, get over it. Stop caring about fonts.

We’re going to write everything in times new Roman .12 font for everything forever and ever. No. That’s ridiculous. It matters to you, you just don’t want to spend so much time lost in it.

So let’s intentionally create time for both.

How do we do this?

This is where you make an agreement with your toddler brain. You say, “Okay, brain. This is what ‘done’ looks like, and with projects like this, I tend to get stuck when I’m choosing the colors and the fonts. So let’s get to “done” first before I do anything with the colors or fonts.”

That way, everything is technically ready to go.

The Key: Allocate a specific amount of time to tweak – let’s say 15 minutes after I reach “done” – to play around with different font and color options. And whichever option I like the best at the end of those 15 minutes is what I’ll go with.”

So again, I’m not saying we can’t make time for the details. Those do matter. However, we also know we don’t want to spend all our time focused on them.

By getting yourself to your definition of “done” first – by getting the project to where it has all the necessary information and could technically be complete.

You’ve done the heavy lifting on the front end while also allowing your brain some time to play around with the aesthetics and the details within a specific container of time.

And that last part is key.

You’re working within a specific container of time that you’ve chosen intentionally rather than accidentally slipping into hyper-focus and unintentionally spending three hours on something when you only wanted to spend one.

In fact, as I share these steps, I’m reminded that I followed these steps myself when I created the mid-year review workbook that went along with last week’s episode.

I know for myself, any kind of design work like that is a dangerous territory. I can get lost down the rabbit hole in no time.

So I first identified what “done” looked like:

• A downloadable PDF with an introduction, some instructions on how to use the workbook, and the reflection questions.
• I wanted it to be on a landing page so people could easily download it from my website.

Then I reminded myself that I would likely feel tempted to get lost in all the options of colors and photos, which are both usually traps for me.

So I decided to get the workbook to “done” so it contained all the important information within the document.

Then I set a timer for myself for 20 minutes to play around with choosing different pictures and colors and formatting the workbook, so it looked aesthetically pleasing.

And because I know my brain well, I gave myself a warning alarm at 15 minutes, too. That way, when the first timer went off, I knew I had five more minutes to wrap up.

Recap

When you find yourself getting stuck in the details and unable to see the forest for the trees, we want to zoom out. We want to pull back and look at the big picture.

And this week, I invite you to practice what we’ve talked about.

When you notice yourself getting stuck in the details, ask yourself:

• What actually matters here?
• What’s most important?
• What does “done” look like?

Next, identify the areas you often get stuck in the details

Intentionally carve out time for them after you reach your definition of “done.”

By stepping back to see the trees, to focus on the big picture, you help your brain create clarity, prioritize what’s essential. And most importantly, move through overwhelm and into action on the things that matter most to you.

Next week, make sure you come back for Part 2, which is all about navigating our feelings of overwhelm when we’re completely stuck in the big picture.

We’re talking about how to move forward when we’re totally overwhelmed because we have no idea where to start or questioning how on earth we could possibly get it all done on time.

If you ever think to yourself, “I know I need to get started, but I just can’t seem to do it. It’s all so overwhelming.” then make sure you’re subscribed and following the podcast to learn the next set of tools for your overwhelm toolkit in episode 208.

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