Have you ever tried building a new habit and thought, “This is going to be great! This time, I’ve got it.”… only to completely forget about it a few days later? Perhaps you’ve gone all in on a new routine—set a reminder, created the perfect plan—only to find yourself ignoring the reminder when it pops up, thinking, “I’ll do it later.” And then… later never happens.
First things first, as I frequently love to remind our brains: The reason we do this is not an indication of a willpower problem. It’s not because you’re lazy. And it’s definitely not because you “just need to try harder.”
The real challenge is that many ADHD brains not only struggle with motivation, we also struggle with activation. Even when we want to do something, even when we know it’s important, there’s often this invisible wall between us and actually starting.
So this means that if a new habit depends on both actually remembering to do the thing and needing to force ourselves into action, we’re asking a lot… We’re essentially working uphill, which makes sustainability extra challenging.
Fortunately, there are supports we can put in place, so it’s not such a heavy lift – and two of my favorite supports are habit stacking and habit pairing.
These two strategies work with your ADHD brain by building habits into your existing routines, which ultimately removes the need to rely on decision-making, motivation and willpower—especially at the end of the day when we’ve usually used it all up
Today, we’re diving into both strategies >> habit stacking and habit pairing.
I’ll share what they are, how they work, and when to use one versus the other—so you can start creating habits that last.
Listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app. Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.
In Episode 297, How To Use Habit Stacking & Habit Pairing + What’s The Difference? You Will Discover:
- Why sticking with habits is a challenge for many ADHD brains
- Two powerful strategies (habit stacking vs. habit pairing) that make it easier to establish and stick with new habits
- When to use each strategy for the greatest impact.
What Is Habit Stacking?
Alright, let’s start by talking about habit stacking.
At its core, habit stacking is attaching a new habit to something you already do regularly.
Instead of trying to remember a new habit out of nowhere or relying on motivation to make it happen, you link it to an action that’s already part of your day.
For ADHD brains, this works beautifully because:
- It removes the need to remember—instead of depending on even more alarms or sticky notes, which we talked about in last week’s episode—Episode 296—- the action you already do serves as your cue.
- It keeps habits small and manageable—rather than trying to overhaul your whole routine, you’re just adding a tiny step to something familiar.
- The brain loves sequences—when one thing consistently follows another, your brain starts to expect it, which makes follow-through easier over time.
How Habit Stacking Works in Real Life
The key to habit stacking is finding an anchor—something you do regularly enough to serve as a reliable trigger. This doesn’t have to happen every day without fail—none of us are robots. But we do want to focus on stacking the habit with something that’s already part of your general routine.
Here are a few examples:
- After I turn off my alarm, I will drink the water on my nightstand.
- After I feed my pet, I will take my own medication.
- After I put on my shoes, I will take three deep breaths before heading out the door.
- As I microwave my lunch, I will do a 30-second stretch while I wait.
- After I drop my keys in the dish on the counter, I turn on the ringer on my phone and plug it in so I’m not carrying it around at home.
The goal is to choose an anchor that fits your life—something that happens often enough to reliably trigger the new habit.
Also, start small. Stacking a super tiny habit and letting it grow naturally is much more effective and lasting overall than aiming too big and really struggling to keep up with it.
Over time, habit stacking makes the routines more sustainable because you’re slowly building upon what’s already working for your brain.
Alright—now that we’ve got that down, let’s talk about habit pairing and how it compares.
What Is Habit Pairing?
I love habit pairing for making boring, tedious, or just plain meh tasks easier to stick with.
Habit pairing works by linking something you want to do with something you already enjoy doing.
Instead of forcing yourself through a task with sheer willpower (which, let’s be honest, rarely works long-term), you turn it into a more dopamine-friendly experience—something your brain actually wants to do.
For ADHD brains, habit pairing works well because:
- It reduces resistance—by tying a less exciting task to something you already like, you make it easier to get started.
- It creates a sense of reward and anticipation—knowing you get to do something enjoyable while doing the habit makes it way more appealing.
- It turns “shoulds” into want-tos—which is huge because, let’s be real, doing things that aren’t a “full body yes” are particularly challenging for us ADHD brains, which means trying to do is “should” is nearly impossible.
How Habit Pairing Works in Real Life
Here are some simple ways to use habit pairing:
- I only listen to my favorite podcast while I’m on a walk with the dog.
- I watch Netflix while folding laundry.
- I put on Great British Bakeoff passively in the background while doing meal prep.
- I make my work meetings more bearable by having my favorite coffee, tea, flavored water—something I enjoy.
Here’s the key part: We want to make sure the “fun” part is exclusive to the habit.
If you watch Great British Bakeoff at anytime, it loses that motivational pull and is less likely to be that reward for getting the meal prep done.
The idea is to create a little mental connection—so when you think of the habit, your brain automatically associates it with something enjoyable. Over time, this helps shift the task from one of drudgery or dread to something much more enjoyable—and in turn—sustainable.
And that makes all the difference.
Alright—now that we’ve got both habit stacking and habit pairing down, let’s talk about when to use each one and how to make them work for you.
Habit Stacking vs. Habit Pairing: When to Use Each
Habit stacking and habit pairing: when do you use each?
Both are great tools, but they solve slightly different obstacles. The key is figuring out what’s getting in your way—is it forgetting to do the habit? Or is it resisting the habit because it’s boring or unpleasant?
Here’s a simple way to decide…
Use Habit Stacking when You…
- Already have a strong habit in place, and you want to attach a new one to it you might forget.
- Need a simple cue to trigger the new habit—because remembering to do it is the main challenge.
- Want to reduce forgetting—since the habit is now linked to something that already happens in your routine.
- Want to build a habit that doesn’t need extra motivation—just a reliable reminder. (Think: taking meds, drinking water, writing in a journal, checking your calendar in the morning.)
Example: If you constantly forget to take your meds, stack them onto something you never forget—like putting them next to your coffee mug—or even putting the bottle in your mug.
Use Habit Pairing when…
- The habit itself is boring, unpleasant, or difficult to start—this might be exercising, cleaning, or responding to emails.
- You need extra dopamine motivation to stick with it—because the habit itself doesn’t naturally seem rewarding to your brain yet.
- You want to make a necessary habit more enjoyable, rather than just easier to remember.
Example: If making returns feels like a chore, and you usually make your coffee from home, maybe you pair the returns with swinging by your favorite coffee shop or something.
Which Method Should You Try?
If the main friction is forgetting, start with habit stacking.
If the main friction is resistance, start with habit pairing.
Not sure? Try both! You might find that different habits work better with different strategies.
The goal here isn’t to force yourself into some rigid system—it’s to create routines that feel natural, sustainable, and ADHD-friendly.
Alright, now that we know when to use each one, let’s talk about some common habit pitfalls—and how to work around them.
Common Habit Pitfalls & What to Do
Alright, so you’ve got your habit stacking and habit pairing strategies lined up—amazing! But if you’ve tried to build habits before, you probably know that ADHD brains love throwing unexpected curveballs.
So let’s talk about some common pitfalls and, more importantly, how to work around them.
1. Forgetting the habit exists
This is probably the most ADHD struggle of all time. We make a plan, feel great about it… and then completely forget it was a thing.
Solutions: Use a physical or visual cue to remind you. Your ADHD brain will likely not just “remember” on its own, so make the reminder unskippable.
Examples:
- Want to journal every morning? Put your notebook next to your coffee maker.
- Need to take meds? Place them by your toothbrush, your coffee cup, or your phone charger.
- Trying to do a quick stretch break? Keep a yoga mat in the middle of the floor where you have to step over it.
Out of sight = out of mind. So put the cue in sight.
2. Getting bored and dropping the habit
ADHD brains crave novelty. What feels exciting and fresh today might feel soul-crushingly boring in a few weeks. If a habit starts to feel stale, you might subconsciously start avoiding it.
Solutions: Keep things fresh by switching up the fun part of the habit, especially if you’re using habit pairing.
Examples:
- Habit pairing your workout with a podcast? Rotate between different shows.
- Tying a boring task to a fun drink? Try a new flavor or a different fancy mug.
- Using a reward system? Change up the reward to keep it exciting.
Small tweaks can keep your brain engaged without losing momentum.
3. Going too big, too fast
ADHD brains tend to be all or nothing. We go all in on a new habit, determined to change everything at once… until we burn out and abandon it completely.
Solutions: Scale way down. The smaller the habit, the easier it is to sustain.
Examples:
- Instead of “I’m going to stretch for 20 minutes every morning,” start with one stretch.
- Instead of “I’ll write in my journal every day,” start with one sentence.
- Instead of “I’ll clean the whole kitchen after dinner,” start with one dish.
Tiny habits are way easier to stack, and once they feel automatic, you can build from there.
4. Losing motivation when the reward disappears
One tricky part of habit pairing? If you stop enjoying the “fun” part, the whole system can collapse.
Solutions: Make sure the reward stays consistent, or be ready to swap it out.
Examples:
- If you paired cleaning with a favorite playlist but now hate the songs, make a new playlist.
- If you paired admin tasks with a fun snack, but the snack lost its appeal, switch it up.
The goal is to make sure your habit still seems worth doing. If the fun part disappears, it’s often harder to maintain that habit.
Final Takeaways & Next Steps
Alright, let’s wrap this up with some key takeaways.
If there’s one thing I’ve found to be true time and time again as I’ve worked with hundreds of ADHD brains, it’s this: we thrive on structure without rigidity.
We need systems that support us, but they have to be natural—not forced. That’s exactly why habit stacking and habit pairing work so well. They create built-in habit triggers, so you’re not relying on motivation, sheer willpower, or hoping you’ll remember. Instead, your habits become part of what you’re already doing.
Your Challenge: Try It This Week
I want you to put this into action. Here’s your challenge:
- Pick ONE habit you want to build.
- Decide if it’s better suited for habit stacking (attaching it to something you already do) or habit pairing (adding a fun or rewarding element).
- Try it out for the next week and see how it feels. Does it make habit-building easier? Does it remove some of the struggle?
Here’s the best part: There’s no wrong way to do this. If something doesn’t work, tweak it. Adjust it. Experiment until you find what clicks.
I’d love to hear what you tried!
Send me a DM on Instagram @imbusyebingawesome:
- What habit did you choose?
- Did you stack it or pair it?
- Did it make a difference?
Every ADHD brain is different, and hearing what works for you helps everyone in this community. I can’t wait to hear what’s working for you!
Want to take these concepts further and apply them to your life? Learn more about how we can work together with my small group coaching program, “We’re Busy Being Awesome,” and one-on-one coaching.
Learn my simple step-by-step approach to locking in a routine and making it stick, be sure to check out my free course, the ADHD Routine Revamp.
I’ll talk with you soon.
Links From The Podcast
- Learn more about private coaching here
- Learn more about We’re Busy Being Awesome here
- Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
- Discover my favorite ADHD resources
- Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System
- Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
- Take my free course, ADHD Routine Revamp
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