How To Simplify The Holidays When You Have ADHD

I think it’s safe to say that the holiday season can be a rollercoaster of both delight and overwhelm for most humans, and as adults with ADHD, this is doubly true.

In episode 225 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we’re tackling the chaos head-on with a streamlined approach to help you focus on what matters most to you this year. 

Tune in today and learn how to simplify six key areas in your life as you intentionally design a holiday season to remember. 

Then be sure to snag the Holiday Season Blueprint to navigate your entire holiday experience with a clear, flexible, step-by-step approach. 

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• A powerful approach to simplifying your season 
• Six key areas to apply the framework
• How to implement this approach in your life today

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Episode #225: How To Simplify The Holidays When You Have ADHD (Transcript) 

Today we are expanding a bit on last week’s holiday theme when we looked at the not-to-do list with a look at how to intentionally simplify the holiday season. Just like last week’s episode – even if you’re listening to this outside of real-time and it’s August 2026, stay tuned because what we’re talking about today will still apply.

Today we’re exploring the overarching concept of:

• Simplifying busy seasons
• Reducing overwhelm
• Staying present in what’s most important to you

And while we’re looking at it through the lens of the holidays, the main framework applies to any busy season of life. 

Now as I prepared for today’s episode, I started by thinking about some of the situations and circumstances in which we tend to find ourselves feeling the most stressed and overwhelmed.

As I thought about all the different things I navigate and the different topics on which I coach my clients, I originally came up with five overarching categories. A I thought about it, I realized there’s one more that deserves its own category, so ultimately, we have 6 overarching areas where, especially during this busy season, we can find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and generally “off.” 

The 6 areas we’re looking at today include:  

1. Holiday traditions and the pressure of high expectations around those traditions.  
2. Financial stress.  
3. Time management and scheduling challenges. 
4. Family dynamics and social obligations 
5. Travel 
6. Feeling down when you think you “should” be happy. 

So today, we will explore each of these distinct areas and why they can often trip us up, and then we’re going to talk about how making decisions ahead of time can be a complete game changer when it comes to creating a holiday season you want to remember.

6 Areas People Feel Stressed & Overwhelmed During The Holidays

So as I mentioned, we’re looking at six different categories that people often find themselves feeling most overwhelmed when they think about the holiday season.

Let’s talk briefly about what each of these categories mean, and then we will dive into how we can simplify and make things a little bit easier for our brains by making powerful decisions.  

1. Holiday Traditions

Up first is holiday traditions. When I think about the pressure of holiday traditions, I think this shows up in many different ways. Of course, the holidays are steeped in tradition on a big and small scale.  

We have:

• Family traditions
• Cultural celebrations
• Traditions with friends
• Traditions at work
• Bake cookies for your coworkers or neighbors
• Particular activities you always do with your extended family.

Maybe there are expectations that you’ll buy a certain number of gifts for each child, or you’re the one who always hosts Thanksgiving or the first night of Hanukkah for your extended family.

So we have all of these different holiday traditions on a big and small scale, and depending on where we are at in the ADHD burnout cycle, our current level of capacity, how bow busy we are in the different areas of our lives, these traditions can feel like added pressure rather than something fun that we’re genuinely looking forward to.

2. Financial Stress

We also have financial stress. This second category is probably not a surprise when we think about big stressors during this season between gift giving, decorating, hosting, holiday activities and events; this time of year can quickly add up, especially if we aren’t intentional about where and how we want to budget our spending.

3. Time Management & Scheduling

I also mentioned time management and scheduling challenges; like the financial budget, our time budget can seem extra strained during this season. We find ourselves trying to balance our already full schedule of regular commitments with all the additional events and activities.

Plus, we add in the preparation involved with things like shopping for gifts, wrapping, decorating, baking, et cetera, and that time budget can seem quite strapped. 

4. Family Dynamics & Obligations

Next on the list are family dynamics and relationships which, let’s be honest, can be quite emotionally taxing.

Navigating interactions, other people’s expectations, boundaries and lack of boundaries, communication styles or lack of communication styles, this category is rife with opportunities to simplify and decide ahead of time. 

5. Travel

Number five on our list today is travel and everything that comes with it. Travel during the holidays is a whole other dimension of stress, especially if you are traveling during peak travel times or with young children.

Airports, security lines, pet care, unpredictable weather…travel is like the Olympics of practicing patience during the holiday season. 

6. The Pressure To Be ‘Happy’

As I mentioned, many of us also feel an overarching pressure to be happy during this time.

As the song goes, this is apparently the “most wonderful time of the year,” but the truth is, for many people, the holiday season can be tough.

You may be navigating loneliness because the people you love don’t live close to you, or you’re in the messy middle of building and rebuilding close relationships. You may be in a season of grief or grieving the loss of someone you love. Plus, during the winter months in the northern hemisphere, many people also struggle with seasonal affective disorder and feel a real shift with lowered mood, greater fatigue etc.

So even though the holidays are often portrayed as this joyful time, many of us can put pressure on ourselves to feel happy and be happy even when we aren’t. That cognitive dissonance of thinking we should be different or should feel different than we are currently feeling becomes extra heavy to carry.   

How Can We Look After Ourselves Over The Holidays?

So what do we do here?

How can we lighten the cognitive load, reduce demands, and simplify things so that we can make the most of this holiday season and find ways to enjoy it wherever we’re at? 

First things first, I do encourage you to think back to what you identified as your seasonal theme and your top five priorities from last week’s episode, episode 224.

This provides a great foundation that we’ll build on today as we make powerful decisions to reduce the cognitive load. And when you put these together – especially when you combine it with the holiday season blueprint – you have clear powerful, step-by-step plan that allows you to focus on what matters most to you this season.

Make Decisions Ahead Of Time

So today we’re going to use the powerful strategy of making as many decisions as possible ahead of time. When we can make decisions ahead of time, we are lightening the load on the executive functions for our future selves.

You see, the beauty of proactive decision-making is that you simplify the busy season by making early decisions. When life gets busier over the next eight weeks or so, we won’t have to deliberate on all the options because we’ve already made a plan. 

And this ultimately creates an opportunity for events to unfold so much more smoothly. In other words, by taking some time now in the relative calm before the holiday storm, you make key decisions that can positively impact the season ahead. 

So what are some of these decisions that we can make ahead of time?

Today I am going to list several different options, each of which falls under the six different overarching buckets. Please notice if your brain starts to feel overwhelmed, and if this happens, gently remind yourself that you don’t have to do all the options I mentioned.

The other thing I want to mention is that because this episode is already going to be on the longer side, I’m going to link to several different episodes on decision-making rather than talking through the different strategies so you have those resources to refer to as well without needing to listen to a 3-hour long podcast. Sound good?

So let’s talk about the decisions you might make ahead of time. 

Let’s start making decisions about these traditions and what we WANT our expectations to be before the season starts. (And if you’re listening to this later on, no problem! You can choose now and move forward from there.)

Gift giving:

One of the overarching traditions during this time is gift giving, and this is a great area to make decisions ahead of time.

Now, you may not know specifically what you’re going to buy each person, and that’s okay. But you can decide ahead of time for whom you want to purchase gifts.

• Are you buying gifts for everyone?
• Are you buying for your immediate family and drawing names for your extended family?
• Are you focusing on experiences rather than tangible gifts?
• Is your immediate family drawing names for one another?
• What do you want to do here? What feels like a supportive decision for you in this current season?

To help further clarify this decision, especially if you tend to have a very long list of people you give gifts to, you might group people together in categories like neighbors, teachers, and colleagues and decide whether or not you want to do gifts for the entire category of people this season.

For example, maybe you traditionally make cookies for everyone on your office floor and leave them in their mailboxes, but this season you’re feeling a bit of hesitation.

You’re looking at your time budget, and you know your top five priorities and your holiday theme, and doing all of that additional baking just does not fit with that tradition. Perhaps you decide ahead of time that you are not doing holiday baking for your office floor. Decision made.

Holiday Cards:

Another decision you might make ahead of time within the holiday tradition budget is whether or not you’ll send holiday cards. I know a lot of people send New Year’s cards, Christmas cards, season greetings cards, etcetera. And they love to do it. They find a lot of joy and delight in it. And I love getting them in the mail, too. It’s so fun to see everyone and hear about what’s going on in their lives.

At the same time, I also know a lot of people who send their holiday cards, but they do it reluctantly.

It is an intellectual yes or a “should”.

It becomes a big stressor as everybody scrambles to get together and take a picture. Or you’re frantically searching through all your photos from the last year, hoping you’ll find something decent where everybody’s looking at the camera at the same time.

Maybe you put extra pressure on yourself to write a thoughtful letter to go with the card, etc. Again, if this is your jam and you love it, decide to love it and go all in. But if it is not how you want to budget your time, then make that decision with confidence, too.

Whatever you do, decide ahead of time whether you’ll send the holiday card this season or not. 

And remember, just because it’s traditional to send a card around this time of year doesn’t mean you couldn’t send a Valentine’s Day card with your family updates or a “happy summer-is-here” card in June.

Holiday Decorations:

There are so many opportunities to decide ahead of time here. While it can be fun and magical to transform your home into a winter wonderland, it can also be ONE MORE THING to contend with when you don’t have the capacity.

Believe me – I’ve definitely been there. There have been years where I just put up the tree, which is pre-lit, and we didn’t decorate it because I just didn’t have the capacity that year, and that’s okay.

Thinking about your holiday theme and priorities…

• How do you want to approach decorating your home this season?
• What feels like a delight for you?

Some people find immense joy in pulling out all the stops, and it’s a cherished tradition. If that’s you, amazing. Then decide to make time for that and go all in.

On the other hand, if the idea of holiday decorating seems like too much, please know that there is ZERO shame in skipping it, or going the minimalist route.

Here are some questions to consider:

Decide Ahead of Time…

• What is your approach to holiday decorations this year?
• Do you want to decorate at all?
• If so, do you want to decorate indoors and outdoors? Just one or the other?
• If you celebrate with a Christmas tree, do you want to do that this year? If so, is it a real tree or an artificial one?

Again, there is no right or wrong. The important thing is to make as many decisions ahead of time as possible so you don’t have to debate over them or second-guess yourself later.

Finally, with whatever decisions you make in regard to decorating, baking etc, decide the day or days you want to do it and put those dates in your calendar. Similarly, decide who you’ll ask to help – if anyone – and let them know about those dates, too.

Budget & Finances

So now let’s talk about budget. If thinking about finances creates a lot of stress and overwhelm for you, then it can be really empowering and supportive to make decisions ahead of time about your budget, too.

Ask yourself: Thinking about my financial situation and goals, how much am I comfortable spending throughout the holiday season?

For many of us, it would be helpful to break that down into smaller catagories and make decisions about each:

• How much do I want to spend gift?
• On entertaining?
• On different activities and events?
• On decorations?
• On holiday cards? Etc.

Your brain will probably want to tell you, “I don’t know.” That’s okay. Take a guess, write down some numbers, and then add them up to see what you get. There may be some trial and error if this is new, but that’s okay! You’re doing the most important part of the process, which is creating awareness of where you’re at and how much you want to spend.

I go into many more questions in the blueprint, so if be sure to check that out if budgeting and finances is an area your brain loves to spin.

Time Management & Schedules

Thinking about the other side of the budget, let’s talk about decisions with time.

First up, let’s talk about these activities and events we’re contemplating.

• How many do you want to participate in?
• How full do you want your schedule to be?

Again, this is a great time to refer back to your seasonal theme as well as your top priorities.

You might make a decision about a general guideline rather than the specific activities. For example, “our family can do one thing per week during the school week and 2 things on the weekend”, or “we don’t do anything on school nights since the kids already have homework and their music lessons, but on the weekends, we do activities all afternoon.”

Are there overarching decisions that you could make ahead of time to make in-the-moment decisions easier later?

Alternatively, there may be events you already know are happening, and you can make specific decisions about them now.

Maybe your office always has a holiday party for everyone and their families – do you want to go this year?

Perhaps in past years you always went to your neighbor’s cookie swap. Is this something you want to do this year?

For many years, my family would go see the Christmas Carol growing up – maybe you have traditions like that. Thinking through the events and activities you already know about, which ones do you want to do? Which ones align most with your priorities?

Similarly, realistically consider your energy levels and capacity.

What are the things that are a full body yes?

And as a tip, I know I tend to overestimate how much energy I will have when I’m committing to things. Everything sounds super fun when it’s four weeks out. Then when the time comes, my brain thinks, I don’t have time for this. There’s no way I can fit this in.

If this sounds like you, I highly encourage you to check in with yourself before agreeing to a commitment that’s far into the future, and ask yourself, “Would I have time for this now?” If the answer is yes, and you want to do it, by all means, say yes.

But if you think to yourself, “there is no way I could fit this in now, but in a month, I probably can.” I highly encourage you to press pause. Really consider what’s going on, what’s in your schedule, and whether or not another commitment is ending before the new event or the commitment comes up.

You see, this may be time blindness sneaking in, obscuring the fact that we still have the same amount of time in December as we do today.

If you don’t have the capacity for the activity or commitment now, really pause to consider whether you’ll have capacity later on.

What’s changing about your current schedule or commitments to ensure that you do have the capacity if you decide to agree to the later event or activity?

Entertaining

If you’re a person who usually hosts gatherings at your home, this is an opportunity to decide whether you want to continue doing that this year, and if so, how often.

Map these dates out on your calendar and make sure it all fits. From there, you can make even further decisions about each event:

• What kind of gathering is this? How many people will you invite?
• Who is on your guest list, and how do you want to send out invitations? Is it just text or email? Will you use an evite invitation thing? Actual paper invitations that you’ll mail?
• How long will the event last?
• What about food? Will you be serving a full meal? Snacks and desserts? Is it a cookie exchange or a potluck?
• Are there activities involved? A gift exchange or cookie swap or decorating gingerbread houses? If so, what do you need?

Making these decisions now not only allows you to get a handle on things ahead of time, but also makes it so much easier to delegate and ask for help when you invite people, and they inevitably ask you, “what can I bring?” Now you’ll actually have an answer!

Family Dynamics

I actually have an entire episode dedicated specifically to family dynamics. It is episode 173, and I highly recommend checking it out if you are feeling a bit unsettled about navigating family interactions this season.

In fact, a big portion of the process involves making decisions ahead of time, and it complements what we’re talking about today really well. The episode is called How to Handle Big Emotions.

Travel

Up next is travel plans. Now travel during the holidays is – as they say in The Wizard of Oz – a horse of a different color – especially if you’re traveling at peak times. Making decisions ahead of time regarding your travel dates, accommodations, and transportation can really be a game changer when it comes to creating a memorable and enjoyable holiday experience.

So keeping that in mind, some decisions ahead of time when it comes to travel include.

• Travel Dates: Begin by determining your preferred travel dates. Take into account your work schedule, family obligations, and any specific events or gatherings you wish to attend. Decide when you’ll depart and return to align with your overall holiday plans.
• Accommodations: Decide where you’ll stay during your travels. Will you be staying with family or friends? Do you prefer to stay in a hotel or other short-term rental?
• Transportation: Depending on your destination, decide on the mode of transportation that works best for you, and this can include anything from booking flights, to train tickets, to mapping out your road trip.

By doing as much of the legwork ahead of time, you’re doing such a kind thing for your future self, who will get to enjoy the experience of travel so much more

How You’ll take Care Of Yourself

The final category today is making decisions about how you’ll take care of yourself if/when you’re feeling down and your brain starts offering that you “should” be happy.

Release Judgment

I would like to lovingly offer that a wise decision to make right now is to release any judgment over how you feel during the holidays.

How you feel is how you feel.

And while we can certainly do things to support ourselves so we’re not feeling down all the time, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong if you DO feel down.

Just because you see lots of cheerful commercials and laughing, smiling groups of people in movies and social media, and maybe even in real life around you, it doesn’t mean that there’s something inherently wrong with you for feeling down.

It means that you’re a human having the full human experience, which includes both “negative” and “positive” emotions.

Our world right now is navigating some really heavy stuff both acutely in our daily lives and globally as we see so much suffering unfold. There are times in our life where we WANT to feel sad. We WANT to feel outraged. We WANT to feel grief. We don’t want to feel happy about some of these situations.

When the heaviness comes up, honor it. Be with it. Whatever you do, please don’t judge yourself for it. So that’s decision one.

Decide How You’ll Take Care Of Yourself

The second decision I’d offer is to decide how you’ll take care of yourself if and when you do feel down.

If you have a therapist or a trauma-informed coach, ask them to help you process through it. Maybe you decide to do some breathwork or journaling or yoga or dance.

Decide ahead of time what you can turn to so that in the times when you’re down, you don’t have to make another decision. Instead, you’ve taken care of yourself ahead of time by having that support system in place. You know your menu of options, and the next step is to lean into one.

Final Thoughts & Recap

So there you have it – a simple yet effective way to bring down the overwhelm when thinking about the holidays clarifying the areas of your life, and making as many decisions as you can ahead of time.

We explored six main areas that we tend to find ourselves spinning, and these include :

• Holiday Traditions and Expectations
• Financial Stress
• Time Management and Scheduling
• Family Dynamics and Relationships
• Travel
• Emotional Expectations.

A powerful way to simplify the business of the season is to consider the decisions you have in each of these different buckets and making as many decisions as possible before the rush begins.

This proactive approach reduces the cognitive load and helps ensure that events to unfold more smoothly. And when you combine your seasonal theme, priorities, and decisions with the Holiday Season Blueprint, you’re well on your way to a memorable, enjoyable holiday season.