10 Examples of Doing The Hard Thing To Get Results

As an ADHD coach with ADHD, I often focus on simplifying our systems to make our daily tasks more manageable. I’m all about finding ways to reduce the demand on our executive functions so we have capacity to do what matters most. But as Gretchen Rubin reminds us, “the opposite of a great truth is also true.” 

So while I’m often asking myself, “how can I make this easy?” I also believe there are times when we want to take on a challenge. I think there are key moments when it’s worth leaning into the discomfort and doing the hard thing. 

In episodes 253 and 254 of the I’m Busy Being podcast, we’re exploring my top 10 list for exactly that. 

From making decisions to saying no to asking for help, we’re looking at 10 powerful situations where “doing the hard thing” not only brings growth, but also greater ease on the other side.

Episode #253 (Part 1) Discussing the first 5 examples of doing the hard thing…

https://youtu.be/PBoxhVanAvo

Episode #254 (Part 2): Examples 6-10 of doing the hard thing…

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episodes 253 & 254 You Will Discover

• How embracing discomfort can foster significant growth and provide greater ease on the other side.
• Specific times it’s useful to lean into the challenge vs. when it’s better to take a different approach.
• Real life examples that demonstrate the concepts so you can easily implement them in your life. 

This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Disclosure info here.

Episode #253 & #254: 10 Examples of Doing The Hard Thing To Get Results (Transcript)

I’m excited to share a topic with you that I’ve been pondering and experimenting with quite a bit lately, which is the idea of experiencing short-term pain for long-term gain, when it comes to goals.

You might recognize the saying “short-term pain for long-term gain.” While I’m not particularly fond of that phrase, it encapsulates the essence of what we’ll explore today:

When is it worthwhile to embrace discomfort?

When should we lean in and tackle the challenging tasks?

In the I’m Busy Being Awesome community, we often discuss the importance of finding ways to make our tasks and lives simpler. One of my favorite questions to pose is, “What would easy look like?” or “How can we simplify this?”

I’m a firm believer in the power of simplification—lightening the load and making things easier.

So, it might seem a bit strange for me to shift gears and ask, “When is it worth it to let things be hard?”

This might feel a bit out of context, but I believe this is a “both-and” situation. There are undoubtedly times when we should be asking how we can simplify things.

This is especially true for high achievers, goal-getters, and many of us who were undiagnosed with ADHD for most of our lives and had to work ten times harder just to keep up. It’s crucial for us to lean into simplification, to let things be easy, and to find workarounds so we don’t have to struggle excessively.

There are also times to embrace the difficulty—to let things be hard

This way we can achieve the rewards waiting on the other side. Today, we’re going to explore ten key areas where it might be worth allowing that hardship.

Before we dive in, I want to offer a word of caution. I know you listeners well, and I understand how easy it can be to use the insights from this type of episode against ourselves. As you listen, please remember that you are only ever allowed to use what benefits you in this podcast. You do not have permission to use any part of this podcast against yourself at any time. 💜

As I share these ten areas where it’s worth letting things be challenging, pay attention to how they resonate with you. Notice how your body and mind respond. If you feel an openness, a sense of agreement, that’s fantastic—use that to your advantage. But if you find yourself feeling shame or if the information makes you feel closed off or bad about yourself, then this isn’t for you, not for this season of your life.

These insights are supportive and helpful for me right now; they aid in my growth and development. However, there have been times when they weren’t right for me.

So, as you listen, don’t accept them as absolute truths. Instead, see how they feel in your body. If they feel grounding and supportive, they might be exactly what you need to guide your decisions and how you show up in challenging situations.

If not, recognize that they may not be suitable for you at this time. This disclaimer is crucial because, as always, what I offer here is intended only to support your incredible journey.

10 Examples of Doing the Hard Thing To Get Results

So, let’s begin. Let’s discuss these ten areas where leaning into discomfort can lead to significant growth and substantial gains on the other side.

1. Making Decisions

The first area I want to delve into is making decisions. Making decisions is inherently challenging. It can feel uncomfortable, especially if decision-making isn’t something you’re accustomed to.

Often, decisions bring confusion and overwhelm, and there’s the fear of making the “wrong” choice, which could lead to regret or frustration later on.

Yes, making decisions is tough. It’s frequently easier to defer them. I’ve certainly found myself thinking, “I’ll consider that later. I can’t handle this right now.” And sometimes, that’s entirely valid—we may be at our capacity and genuinely not have the space to make a decision.

However, this episode is nuanced, so please engage with it in a way that feels supportive to you.

There are times when we delay decisions simply because we want to avoid the discomfort of choosing. But embracing that discomfort can be powerful. Being willing to face the potential of making the wrong decision, and dealing with possible disappointment, allows us to move forward.

The truth is, when we make decisions, we actually start to live our lives. Choosing not to decide is, in itself, a decision to maintain the status quo.

So, let’s make our decisions intentionally.

Say, “I choose to keep things as they are,” or “I choose not to participate,” or “I decide not to join the club.”

Making these decisions consciously means we’re willing to lean into the discomfort, weigh the worst-case scenarios, and determine our criteria for making choices. By doing this, we can progress much more quickly.

When we avoid making decisions, we let life happen to us. We end up living reactively, always responding to circumstances rather than shaping them. Conversely, when we gather the necessary data, establish our decision-making criteria, and then make a decision, we move forward with intention. We live the choices we’ve made.

This approach is not only quicker and more efficient in our daily lives, but it also leads to the results we want much faster because we have concrete data to work with. From there, we can learn, grow, and adjust.

One of my coaches, Caryn Gillan, often emphasizes that our life progresses at the speed of our decision-making, and I wholeheartedly agree. When we make decisions and step out of the confusion and indecision, we can truly move forward and start living the life we’re actively shaping.

For instance, just last night, I found myself hesitating over when to visit a friend and whether to book a hotel or an Airbnb. These might not seem like monumental decisions, but as some of you know, travel involves a myriad of decisions for me, making it a potential breeding ground for indecision.

Recognizing this as a trap, I knew I needed to define my criteria clearly and set a specific time to make these decisions. Life moves as fast as my decisions allow, and the sooner I decide, the sooner I can plan my visit, determine our activities, and figure out how I can best support her during my stay.

So, area number one: Making decisions. Yes, it’s uncomfortable to make decisions, but I assure you, in the long run, it’s far more uncomfortable to delay them and have to contend with life happening to you instead of because of you.

2. Decluttering

Decluttering is inherently challenging, largely because it involves making numerous decisions. I once heard someone describe clutter as essentially a collection of unmade decisions. It’s all the stuff we haven’t decided what to do with yet.

Decluttering involves deciding:

• What to keep
• What to throw away
• How much you need
• Where it should go
• Whether to donate it (and if it’s in good enough condition to donate), or whether to sell it.

These are all taxing choices, and they can be particularly overwhelming for those of us with ADHD who struggle with executive functioning. Making these decisions is extra challenging.

If you’re like me, you might stack things neatly in a pile and tell yourself you’ll deal with it later. But that’s just creating stacks of unmade decisions—whether it’s piles of mail or items shoved into closets or drawers. We might leave hair products we dislike in the bathroom simply because there’s some left, and we feel bad about throwing them out.

It’s easier to just close the drawer, shut the door, and put it off until later. But then, we accumulate so many decisions that need to be made eventually. More than that, we end up living in overstimulation, surrounded by visual distractions that pull us away from focusing on what we truly want to engage with.

When we are willing to lean into the challenging task of making these decisions—whether it’s selling items, donating them, throwing them out, or recycling them—we significantly simplify our lives on the other side. Decluttering leads to knowing what you have, where it is, and how to find it with ease.

You might wonder, does everything have to look minimalist, like a Pinterest board?

Not at all! I like having things around, as you can see if you’re watching on YouTube. I have items on my shelves. But my belongings have a designated place. I’ve made decisions about where things go, ensuring that everything fits within the capacity of my home.

Often, when we feel overwhelmed by clutter, it’s because we’ve exceeded the capacity of our storage spaces. For instance, I might have too many hooded sweatshirts in my closet, which can be a real obstacle.

By making deliberate decisions to live within the space constraints we have—similar to managing our time within given constraints—we make life significantly easier. When everything has its place and fits comfortably, it reduces stress and clutter, both mentally and physically.

So, decluttering is hard. But by leaning in and embracing the discomfort of making those tough decisions, you pave the way for a much easier and more organized life for your future self.

3. Emotional Regulation

Now, let’s delve into our third topic: Feeling your feelings. This can be incredibly challenging because it’s inherently uncomfortable. Nobody relishes the idea of sitting with their feelings—it often feels terrible.

It’s far easier in the moment to distract ourselves with our phones, scrolling through Instagram or watching YouTube shorts.

It’s simpler to open a bottle of wine to avoid those emotions, or to shop on Amazon for things we don’t need, adding to the clutter. Or perhaps we turn on a gaming system and disappear into a digital world for a few hours rather than face our feelings.

The issue here is that when we continually push away our feelings using these distractions—whether it’s through scrolling, gaming, drinking, overeating, shopping, or overworking—those emotions don’t just disappear.

They stay within us and can later manifest as intense anxiety, depression, or lead to explosive emotional outbursts and dysregulation. Over time, suppressed feelings might present as numbness or even chronic illnesses and pain, impacting our lives in various detrimental ways.

If you’ve been avoiding your emotions for a long time, I highly recommend connecting with a somatic therapist. Someone who specializes in integrating bodily processes with emotional healing could be incredibly beneficial.

However, if you sometimes experience your feelings and you’re not dealing with severe clinical anxiety or depression (or you are but are already in therapy), this is where we need to learn the importance of pausing and truly feeling our emotions.

For instance, consider a moment when you felt frustrated because your technology didn’t work during a work presentation. Rather than immediately reaching for your phone to scroll through Instagram to mitigate the frustration, try sitting with that feeling. I know it might seem daunting; many people worry that it will take too much time.

Yet, it often doesn’t take as long as we fear. When we slow down and allow ourselves to feel, the duration is surprisingly short, and the clarity and lightness we feel afterward are profoundly liberating. We end up enjoying our lives more because we are truly experiencing them, not muting or dulling them with various buffers.

This is, in many ways, the secret to unlocking a fuller, more present life.

For example, my husband, Ryan, is currently navigating this process. He was feeling anxious and stressed this morning, his mind racing with worry. After sitting quietly for a moment to reflect, the anxiety dissipated, and he was left wondering why he had been so worried.

This was a beautiful demonstration that sitting with our feelings doesn’t have to mean enduring hours of turmoil—it might only take a few minutes.

When we open ourselves up to our feelings and learn from them, we gain clarity much faster than if we had pushed them away for days, weeks, or even years. This simple yet profound practice is truly transformative, and it was the hidden gem in our third tip.

4. Saying No

This can feel incredibly hard. Our minds race with worries about disappointing others, fearing their upset, or that they won’t ask us again.

There’s the fear of missing out, or the internal struggle when we have to deny ourselves something we want, which might unleash our inner rebel or cause our “toddler brain” to throw a fit.

Saying no to ourselves or others doesn’t come easily. In the moment, it’s far simpler to agree—yes, I’ll bake the cupcakes, yes, I’ll take on those extra meetings, yes, I’ll create those slides. This string of yeses can lead to significant stress when the time comes to fulfill these commitments and we realize we’ve agreed to things that weren’t genuine desires but felt like obligations.

Instead of enduring a brief discomfort by politely declining—perhaps suggesting someone else or just expressing our inability to commit—we opt for immediate relief by saying yes. However, this leads to prolonged periods of discomfort as we handle the resulting overload, leading to potential burnout.

Yes, saying no is challenging, but it’s worth the brief discomfort to maintain our capacity to engage wholeheartedly in the aspects of life that truly matter to us. Saying no allows us to say yes to what we genuinely want to commit to, helping us show up in life with the energy and intention we truly desire.

5. Telling The Truth

Building on the idea of saying no, let’s talk about telling the truth. This too can be difficult, especially when we fear that our truth might upset someone or lead to judgment or disappointment. It’s often easier to fabricate a small excuse—like a fictitious dentist appointment—to avoid an engagement.

However, these excuses can complicate matters as they require continual upkeep.

When someone suggests a new time for the event we just excused ourselves from, we find ourselves concocting more excuses. This pattern is not only tiring but leads to disconnection both from others and from ourselves.

This disconnection is significant because when we are not truthful, we lose touch with who we are, what we desire, and how we wish to spend our time. Living untruthfully, mainly to please others, prevents us from living authentically, distancing us from our true selves.

In essence, while saying no and speaking our truth can be uncomfortable, embracing this discomfort is key. It leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life, free from the burden of overcommitment and the strain of maintaining these little lies.

So yes, telling the truth is hard. It places us in uncomfortable situations where we face the fear of what others might think. This discomfort isn’t necessarily due to the situations themselves but stems from our perception that these situations are awkward or uncomfortable.

Telling the truth opens the door to deeper connections with both ourselves and others. It allows us to show up authentically, engaging in what we truly desire from a place of love. This is true for honesty directed both inward and outward.

Many of us carry ideals of who we think we should be, activities we should enjoy, and ways we should behave. Recognizing and accepting our true preferences—acknowledging what genuinely resonates with us—can be liberating. This realization brings immense freedom and feels like magic.

Telling the truth, especially in uncomfortable situations, may seem daunting, but the authenticity and connection that follow are well worth the initial discomfort. Importantly, being truthful doesn’t mean being harsh or blunt.

It’s possible to express our truth with love and kindness. I’m considering dedicating an entire episode to exploring how to effectively communicate truth with compassion.

For example, if you need to decline an invitation, you can express appreciation for being considered and explain your current capacity honestly, like saying, “I’m really grateful you thought of me, and I’m worried you won’t invite me again. I want to go, but I’m just too stretched right now. Please do ask me again.” Communicating in such a manner not only maintains relationships but also upholds your integrity.

6. Asking for Help

Where it’s worth leaning into the discomfort, is asking for help. You probably expected this one, right?

Asking for help is hard. It is not enjoyable for many of us. We often feel like we are inconveniencing others. We tell ourselves we should be able to manage alone. We believe everyone else is too busy, they won’t have the time, or they won’t do it as well as we can, leading us to take on too much ourselves.

And so, we keep adding more to our plates until we’re past capacity.

We end up burnt out or resentful because we’re always doing things for others and never have time for ourselves. So yes, asking for help is tough. It seems easier just to pile it all on, commit to doing it, and double down on trying to handle it alone. At least, it seems easier until the burden becomes overwhelming and leads to extreme burnout.

Here’s another perspective: Asking for help is incredibly powerful.

When you allow yourself to be uncomfortable, to be vulnerable, when you’re willing to risk someone saying no and cope with the potential disappointment, when you actually ask for help, you open up the possibility of living the larger life you envision for yourself, doing the things you truly want to do.

If this sounds familiar, it’s because many of us are overwhelmed with obligations. We’re not truly busy being awesome; we’re bogged down doing everything we think we should handle ourselves, or things we believe no one else can do as well. This mindset traps us in doing too much, preventing us from engaging in the activities that truly fulfill us, limiting our lives more than we realize.

We have to accept that we only have so much capacity. The way to do more, to live larger and make a greater impact, is to leverage our strengths and seek help in areas where we struggle.

Being willing to ask for help allows us to embrace our bigger life and enjoy the journey along the way.

7. Managing Instant Gratification

Next nvolves doing the hard thing your “toddler brain” doesn’t want to do. I know, this is challenging. You have to tell the toddler brain (part of your brain that craves instant gratification and dopamine) NO. This is especially difficult for us with ADHD, who naturally have lower levels of dopamine and are constantly seeking that dopamine boost.

Learning to slow down, pause, and make intentional decisions is incredibly powerful. It helps us show up how we want to, with intention. (For my clients, this refers to the pause section in Podia on our platform. If you want to revisit this, that’s what we’re discussing here.)

How do we slow down and pause?

The toddler brain is strong, and often, it’s tempting in the moment to give in, especially at night when we’re depleted, and for those medicated, after our meds have worn off. Resisting the urge to avoid bedtime, or swap reading for staring at screens, is profoundly challenging.

Instead of adhering to our bedtime routine, we might find ourselves scrolling endlessly, buying unnecessary items on Amazon, or binge-watching another episode.

Resisting the toddler brain is uncomfortable and difficult, but it’s crucial. This isn’t something you’re expected to manage without help—it’s tough, which is why we need tools and support.

With the right support and by practicing and strengthening our pause muscles, we can deny the toddler brain’s demands for instant gratification and dopamine hits in the moment. This allows us to take care of our future selves, affirming our long-term goals and overall well-being.

By saying no to another episode and choosing sleep, you are saying yes to your wellness and ensuring you get enough rest. By opting not to purchase that item on Amazon, you are aligning with your long-term financial goals to save and spend intentionally.

Being willing to say no to the toddler brain and yes to our future selves, although tough and uncomfortable, is profoundly worthwhile. It steers us towards the life we truly want to live.

8. Embracing Rest

This may not resonate with everyone, but for me, it represents one of the highest, most challenging peaks I’m still learning to conquer. If this resonates, this message is especially for you.

Rest is challenging. It’s incredibly difficult for us—with our racing, constantly moving, overworking, and over-worrying ADHD brains—to pause and truly rest, giving ourselves the kind of deep rest we need.

In a previous episode, I discussed the seven different types of rest needed to recover from burnout. For most of us, it’s hard to engage with even one of these types, let alone all seven. This difficulty arises because we’re perpetually in ‘go mode’: always doing, reacting to life, putting out fires, taking on too much, and fearing disappointment if we say no. So, we keep pushing ourselves beyond our limits, unable to slow down.

Staying in ‘go mode’ feels easier because it’s familiar and seemingly safe; our nervous systems are used to this state of hyperarousal. Learning to slow down, rest, and take care of ourselves is not just uncomfortable—it feels unnatural.

However, constant ‘go mode’ inevitably leads to overworking and burnout. Eventually, our bodies will force us to stop, having depleted all our reserves until our ‘battery’ is utterly drained.

However, when we choose to tackle the uncomfortable task of resting—caring for our rest needs consistently, not just sporadically when circumstances are perfect—we unlock rejuvenation, clarity, renewal, and the capacity to generate new ideas. Rest enables us to work more effectively and sustainably.

Yes, learning how to rest is hard. But persistently living in ‘go mode’ is far harder, even if it doesn’t seem so at the moment.

When we commit to learning how to rest, embracing the discomfort that comes with it, and providing ourselves with the rest we truly need, we enable ourselves to fully and sustainably engage in activities that matter most to us.

9. Managing Transitions

As many of you know, ADHD brains, especially mine, struggle significantly with transitions. They can be extremely challenging. If you’re anything like me, you might resist acknowledging that your brain requires transition time.

It’s far easier to fill your schedule to the brim, thinking, “I should be able to accomplish all of this. I’m just going to block every hour with different tasks. And because it’s written in my schedule, I should be able to manage it.” This mindset often leads us to overlook the fact that our brains literally require time to transition between tasks.

We need to shift our thought processes, yet we rarely allocate time for this because it was never part of our learning.

Remember in elementary school when teachers would announce, “Five minutes before we need to clean up, let’s line up for lunch”? They prepared us for transitions, which helped manage our expectations and readiness.

Today, we still need these transition periods, though they can be frustrating. It might seem more appealing to plan as if we don’t need transitions—imagining a version of ourselves that can seamlessly jump from one activity to the next, maximizing every minute without a break.

However, that’s simply not how our brains function. We are not robots designed to switch tasks instantly.

Acknowledging and scheduling transition times can be difficult, but it’s vastly more effective. When you genuinely accommodate your brain’s transition needs, you enhance your ability to move between tasks and projects more smoothly.

This concept applies to larger scenarios as well, such as traveling. For instance, I recently took a trip and scheduled two days on either side to transition from vacation back to my normal routines. I knew I needed this buffer to adjust and “become human” again.

Admitting I needed this time was difficult, yet it made traveling far more manageable and actually enjoyable, knowing I had built in time to adapt.

So yes, accepting and planning for transitions is tough, but it’s worthwhile. When we allow for transitions, we plan more realistically, creating schedules that accurately reflect our true capabilities and daily capacity.

Learning to incorporate transition time effectively empowers us to act with intention, fully aware of what we can achieve within the time we have.

10. Accepting ADHD and Unmasking

Accepting ADHD and unmasking is incredibly challenging. It’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that our brains function differently, that we require unique support, and that it’s okay to let down our guard and show our true selves. Reaching this level of acceptance is no easy feat.

In the short term, it might seem simpler to continue trying conventional productivity strategies and blame yourself for not working hard enough. You might think that if only you could find the right planner or the perfect system, everything would be fixed.

However, as Tamara Rosier points out, your brain’s not broken; there’s nothing to fix. There is immense power in recognizing that your brain operates uniquely, determining the supports you need, and learning to remove the mask that hides your true working style.

This journey is arduous and often fraught with vulnerability and fear as you start to unveil who you really are. It’s likely you’ll encounter a wide array of emotions throughout this process of accepting your ADHD brain.

You might experience frustration, anger, grief, or sadness. Thoughts like, “It shouldn’t be this hard. I shouldn’t need extra help. Why didn’t I discover this sooner? My struggles could have been avoided,” are common and part of the journey.

Wherever you find yourself in this process, know that you are exactly where you need to be.

Acceptance and unmasking are tough. It might feel easier in the moment to chase after the latest productivity trend and blame yourself, convincing yourself that if you just pushed harder it would all work out. But let me assure you, there is profound freedom on the other side.

Learning to accept how your brain functions and identifying effective supports allows you to shed the mask and authentically engage in life as you desire, in a manner that suits your brain. This is indeed possible.

👉 Learn all about ADHD masking in episode #161, where I walk through examples and solutions.

Final Thoughts & Recap

There you have it—our list of 10 areas where enduring short-term discomfort is worthwhile for long-term benefits.

Often, we explore how to simplify tasks or make life easier, but sometimes, in this complex world, it’s beneficial to tackle challenges head-on. Over the past two weeks, we’ve discussed ten such instances.

Recap: Doing the hard thing to get results:

1. Making decisions. 
2. Decluttering. 
3. Feeling the feelings. 
4. Saying no. 
5. Telling the truth. 
6. Asking for help. 
7. Doing the thing your toddler brain does not want to do. 
8. Making time for the rest you need. 
9. Accepting that our brain needs transition time (and allowing for it!)
10. Accepting your ADHD and unmasking.

When we are willing to lean in and let these things be hard, I am telling you, your life will feel  – frankly – so much easier and more enjoyable on the other side. It is worth the discomfort for the growth and the ease on the other side. 

👉 Check out my one-on-one coaching or my small group coaching program, “We’re Busy Being Awesome,” where you can get more support from yours truly. Whether you’re looking to embrace challenges or need help making routines stick, I’ve got resources that can assist.

Lastly, if you found today’s episode helpful and think someone you know might benefit from these insights, please share this episode with them. Whether through a text, a message, or on your Instagram stories, your share helps extend these tools to more people who might need them.

Don’t forget to subscribe or follow the podcast so you won’t miss out on next week’s continuation of our discussion on embracing discomfort for a life of greater ease, love, and joy. See you then!