The Power of Play for ADHD Adults + Ways To Have Fun

If you’re anything like me, you know how easy it is to feel at the mercy of an endless to-do list. Our brains are driven by the most urgent deadlines, and we constantly push ourselves to do “just one more thing.”

And amidst that constant striving for “more,” we forget about a truly crucial component of being human: having fun.

Yes, you read that right.

We forget about our need as humans for fun and play.

In episode 211 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome Podcast, we’re talking about just that.

Tune in now to understand why the ADHD brain struggles to prioritize fun and play as an adult, the value of incorporating it into our lives, and practical strategies to identify and engage in the things that truly bring us joy.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• Why the ADHD brain struggles to prioritize fun and play as an adult
• The value of incorporating it into our lives
• Practical strategies to identify and engage in the things that truly bring us joy.

Leave IBBA A Rating & Review!

If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.

1. Go to Apple Podcasts
2. Click on the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast
3. Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
4. Simply tap five stars; that’s it!
5. Bonus points if you’re willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!

Episode #211: The Power of Play for ADHD Adults + Ways To Have Fun (Transcript) 

Hey, everybody; welcome back to the podcast. I’m so glad you’re here.

In fact, I’m especially glad you pressed play on today’s episodes because we’re exploring an important topic that I think many of us – either intentionally or unintentionally – tend to overlook. And by pressing play right now, you’re bringing some intention to the topic, which is awesome.

The topic we’re talking about today – and in next week’s episode – is fun.

More specifically…

• How we can figure out what we like to do for fun?
• What we can do to actually make time for fun in our busy awesome lives?

I was inspired to create this episode thanks to an email from someone in our busy awesome community named Laura asking about this very question. They wrote,

After reading her message, I thought, “this is such an important question to explore. I know for a fact – because I’ve heard it from so many different people – that making time for fun within our packed, busy schedule is incredibly challenging to do.”

So first of all, thank you for sending this great question, Laura. I so appreciate it.

And as a reminder for all of you – if you have a topic on your mind that you’d like to have explored on the podcast, please send it my way. You can dm me on Instagram, I’m @imbusybeingawesome or you can drop me an email paula@imbusybeingawesome.com. I’d love to hear about it.

So I’ve been thinking about Laura’s question a lot. And while I could just share my exact approach, that’s just ONE APPROACH that works FOR ME. And we all have such different lives, schedules, demands, and ways we like to have fun.

So I thought it might be more helpful for you as the listener if I created a simple system that you can easily adopt and adapt to fit your life, which is what I’m sharing with you over the next two episodes

In this episode, we’re going to talk briefly…

• About having fun
• Why many of us struggle to make time for it
• Why it’s actually important to make time for fun and play.
• How you can identify what you like to do for fun because – it turns out – that’s a real challenge for so many of us.

Then next week, we’re going to deep dive into how we can make time in our busy schedules for fun and play more often.

Why We Struggle To Make Time For Fun

Now here’s the deal. As I mentioned, so many of us have a hard time carving out intentional space to relax, to have fun, and/or to play.

I polled people on Instagram a few weeks ago, and so many people shared that they struggle to make time for fun because they don’t see it as “productive” or “helpful,” so they have a hard time justifying any time for it at all. And I’m guessing your brain might be able to relate to that thought process at least on some level.

So many of us have had experiences in the past when we’ve fallen behind, or we couldn’t keep up with the workload, or we’ve been late on a deadline, whether it’s for school, or work, or in our personal life.

With ADHD brains, we struggle with time blindness. We overcommit to work without pausing to recognize what we can realistically take on.

And we struggle to pace ourselves with work, often waiting until that sense of urgency kicks in at the last minute, many of us have developed stories about…

• Being behind
• That we have so much work to do
• We couldn’t possibly slow down to rest or play because we simply have too much on our plate

So we start repeating those familiar mantras like, “I’ll do that after I get this done.” Once I finish this, then I’ll rest. Then I’ll take a vacation. Then I’ll start that project. Finally, then I’ll get to play.”

Don’t start blaming yourself for having this perspective

There’s a good reason that we have this pattern instilled in us.

We’ve all been living this way most of our lives.

How often did you hear for yourself or did you hear from your friends or in the media messaging like, “You can’t go play until the chores are done. You can’t go to the movies until you’ve finished your homework.”

All. The. Time. Right?!

I’m not saying these stances are inherently bad. In fact, I think they can be useful at times.

However, what I am saying is that when we have a never-ending-to-do-list that we’re adding to constantly, that’s where this perspective can hold us back. Because when your work never ends, and you only make time for fun when you finish your work, you’ll never be able to play. And that is a real bummer.

As that old proverb goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

And I’m not saying YOU’RE dull. But I am saying that if you’re feeling discontent and restless, and you’re always working, playing catch up, and driven entirely by your to-do list, it could indicate that your life is craving a bit more fun. And it’s our job to intentionally create that space as often as possible.

Now I realize that everyone’s situations are very different.

Some of us simply do not have the privilege to make time for fun and play very often, and I absolutely hear that and respect that.

However, even in those situations, we can maybe find ways to create short moments – just a few minutes. During this time we intentionally slow down to breathe and close our eyes for 3 minutes, or we tune into our favorite playlist on the commute to work, or whatever – to help bring in a little more fun and break up that daily grind just a bit.

So whatever amount of time you can create for fun and play, I encourage you to prioritize it.

And as a side note, I also want to mention that this episode is a reminder to me just as much as it is to those of you who need to hear it. This is a big growth edge for me, too. But what I can tell you is that based on my own personal experience, on the research I’ve done, and my work coaching hundreds of different ADHD brains over the years, when we can create space for more play and fun in our lives, that is the secret sauce to success AND to living a full life. This is the magic.

So as you’re learning to work with and support your ADHD brain, it’s important to make sure you’re learning how to rest and recharge as well. We need time to be humans; as I frequently remind myself and everyone else who tends to forget this, we are not robots. We are humans.

And this means that – as humans, and especially as humans with ADHD brains – we, first of all, feel big feelings.

Secondly, we need to rest and recharge.

And thirdly, we thrive when we get to connect with ourselves and others through creation and play. 

We need time to challenge and engage our brains in new ways, in creative ways, and in ways that create delight.

We can do this more easily when we step out of the daily grind and into more of what lights us up.

And when we do that more regularly, it helps to alleviate stress. It helps to enhance our focus because when it’s time to work again, the brain actually had time to recharge. It helps enhace our mood because we’re doing those things that fuel us.

With all of this being said, I invite you to check in with yourself right now.

• How do you feel about this outrageous idea of intentionally making more time for fun?
• Are you open to it? Resistant?
• Are you wondering how that might work?
• Are you questioning what you’d even do because you don’t know what you like to do for fun anymore?

Wherever you’re at is exactly right. All we need to do right now is notice it.

How To Identify What To Do For Fun

Now let’s talk about how to actually identify what we like to do for fun. What is fun for you?

This may be a really challenging question for some of you to answer.

If so, please know you’re in good company. It was definitely challenge for me.

I remember the first time my coach asked me “what do you like to do for fun?” and I came up blank. I genuinely had no idea and did not know what was fun for me. And that was quite a wakeup in and of itself.

But I’ll tell you, it took some time for me to start uncovering those answers and then actually make space for them.

I’m not going to lie, it’s been a journey.

Step 1: Get Curious About What Fun Looks Like For You

The first step in the journey is to create some curiosity for yourself by asking, “what do I like to do for fun?”

Again, if you don’t know, THAT’S OKAY. No problem. Instead, ask yourself, “What sounds like fun? What COULD be fun?”

When have you heard other people talk about their hobbies or how they spend their time? What do they do?

Do any of those activities pique your interest?

What did you love to do when you were little?

Think back to when you were six, when you were eleven, when you were sixteen. What did you love to do then?

There is so much wisdom you can learn about yourself by slowing down to consider these questions.

Your homework: Create a list of things you might want to do for fun.

Now some of you will have no problem grabbing a piece of paper and writing a huge list. Others of you will have a short list, but you confidently know what you’d write on it because you know what you love and you only need a few things to really fill your cup.

Step 2: Use Categories To Define What Fun Looks Like

For those of you like me who came up completely blank, I invite you to grab a sheet of paper and write down the following five categories with space below each to write ideas.

1. Self-care and relaxation
2. Connection
3. Physical Activity
4. Creativity
5. Travel & adventure

Sometimes our brains do a little better when we don’t just have a blank page, but instead have a focused prompt with some examples to spark ideas.

So I encourage you to write those five categories on your paper – and if you have other categories, feel free to add those, too.

I’ll give a few examples for each to get your ideas flowing. Then you can add whatever sounds like fun to your personal list.

What I love about this approach is – first of all – you’re essentially creating a menu of fun for yourself, which will come in handy when we start talking about actually making time for it in just a bit. Also, it’s a wide range of different kinds of activities, which is great when you have different amounts of time or energy available at any given time.

Self-Care & Relaxation Examples

Before I share some examples please remember that everyone’s definitions of fun are different. So let my ideas be a jumping-off point to build your own list.

• Reading
• Journaling
• Listening to your favorite playlist while sitting outside
• Going for a long drive in the car
• Gardening

Take some time to think about what recharges you, or what feels super supportive and fun regard to self care and relaxation.

Social Connection Examples of Fun

This is a rather broad category that essentially encompasses any kind of fun with others.

This might look like…

• Getting together with your girlfriends for brunch
• A regular phone or Zoom chat with your best friend
• Volunteering
• Meeting up with a group of dog owners at the dog park every Saturday morning
• Hosting game night at your house

Whatever you like to do for fun with others, write that down.

Physical Activity Examples

Now for some people, this list might be super long. For example, my younger sister is always on the go.

Regardless of the weather or the season, she’s…

• Biking
• Climbing
• Cross country skiing
• Paddleboarding
• Running

You name it, she’s doing it, and she’s having fun while doing so.

Other people – like Paula Engebretson – have a much shorter list. It might be…

• Walking the dog
• Dancing to some music at the end of the day
• Lifting weights to a good playlist

Maybe the pickleball craze finally piqued your curiosity enough that you decided to join a team. 

Again, whatever lights you up when it comes to physical activity or that has you potentially interested in exploring, write it here.

Creativity Examples of Fun

I invite you to consider what you love to do when it comes to creativity.

What feels like fun and play through the lens of creating?

I think that so many of us have incredible creativity just waiting to be unleashed – unfortunately, we have stories that we’re not artistic, or we’re not musical or we can’t paint or draw or write or MAKE and those stories prevent us from trying. But I want to challenge that.

There are so many different ways to stretch the creativity muscle, and while it might take some experimentation to find what feels like fun for you, it’s absolutely worth it when you find that thing. 

Some ideas to consider:

• Work on the poetry you’ve been turning over in your mind
• Try a ceramics class
• You pull out your musical instrument or sit down at the piano and start playing again
  • In fact, that’s one of my goals over the next several months. From 5^th grade all through my undergraduate years I was a pretty serious trumpet player, and I played in wind ensembles, jazz bands, a salsa band, you name it, I was probably playing. I loved it. But when I went to grad school I put it away and haven’t played since. And as I was outlining this episode, I realized how fun it sounded to pull out my horn again – so that’s now on my list.
• Learning a new craft
• Pulling out the sewing machine you used to love using

So again, what sounds like fun for you when it comes to creating?

Travel & Adventure Examples of Fun

When you think about travel and adventure, what comes up for you?

Perhaps you love the thrill of exploring new locations and trying new foods and meeting new people. The idea of travel and adventure is one big category of fun and your list is super long. Amazing!

For myself, this is not the case because I find the transitions and the planning required for travel is decidedly NOT fun.

So when I list out my fun things for travel, it’s with intentional caveats that I’m allowing time for transition AND I have a lot of support in all the executive functioning required for making the travel plans.

• Go on a road trip
• Go camping and hiking
• Plan a big trip – visit a new country or new continent
• Go backpacking
• Check out local art galleries and museums

So again, whether you’re a big adventurer and can’t wait for the next time you hop on a plane or pick a place on the map for your next road trip, or you love camping and the seclusion in nature, or you prefer to stick closer to home adventuring around your cities, or taking adventures to art museums or science museums,  all of it is awesome.

Lean into what’s fun for YOU and add it to the list. 

Now as I’m sharing these suggestions, I also want to state what might already be obvious, but you’re likely going to find overlap between these categories. And that’s totally okay.

For example, maybe I take a ceramics class with a friend, that would be both connection and creativity. Awesome. I love it.

Notice if your brain wants to overthink it – there’s truly no wrong answer here. Instead, these categories are simply here to spark ideas so you can get some fun options flowing.

Final Thoughts

Again, as I mentioned earlier, so many of us struggle to make time for fun, or we haven’t had time for fun in YEARS, and because of this, we might struggle to identify what it actually means to have fun as an adult.

The point of this episode is to…

• First normalize that experience if you feel this way
• Provide a simple approach to get the ideas flowing and start finding what’s fun for you.

This is my homework for you this week

First, notice the stories you have about making time for fun and play.

When was the last time you intentionally set aside that time for it?

Was that challenging to do?

Were you able to be present with the fun activity, or were you constantly thinking about all the other things you “should” be doing?

Then, I invite you to create a list of fun things that you love to do, used to love doing, or could potentially enjoy doing.

Create that list for yourself, and then next week, we’re going to dive in and talk about how to actually schedule time for fun so that you’re intentionally making time for – what I’ve been rediscovering to be – such a key ingredient in a full life.

And in the meantime, pop over to Instagram and let me know what you find. What are your thoughts around fun? What do you like to do for fun? I would absolutely love to hear about it.

If you’re ready to take these concepts deeper and apply them to your life. If you’re ready to learn how to support your ADHD in a way that works for YOU, then I invite you to check out my small group coaching program, We’re Busy Being Awesome. And if it sounds like a great fit for you, you can add your name to the waitlist so you’re the first to know when the next cohort begins. 

Also, have you grabbed my free ebook 10 tips to work with your ADHD?  It is filled with actionable strategies that you can use to help reduce your overwhelm, reclaim your time, and get things done. Grab it HERE!

Until next time, keep being awesome. I’ll talk with you soon.