How Tiny Habits Create Lasting Change for ADHD

Do you love the idea of making positive changes in your life, but the thought of doing a complete overhaul leaves you feeling super overwhelmed?

If so, you’re in luck.

In episode 192 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we explore how small habits are the key to making powerful change.

How do I know?

Because big doors swing on little hinges.

By clarifying the area we want to change and then identifying the hinge to make it happen, we create a strong foundation for major shifts to unfold.

Ready to learn how?

Tune into episode 192 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast to get the step-by-step breakdown today.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• The science of habit formation
• The obstacles adults with ADHD face when it comes to sticking with habits
• How to identify the one key habit that will the biggest shifts toward your end goal

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Episode #192: How Tiny Habits Create Lasting Change for ADHD (Transcript)

I’ve been playing around with a new phrase, which, if you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I like to do from time to time. And this particular phrase really had my brain firing with lots of ideas that I can’t wait to share with you.

Today we’re going to talk about the topic of change broadly and, more specifically, how habits (and small habits) can play a key role in creating that change.

Now here’s the deal, habits and making a change seem like they go together quite well. Right? If you want to make a change, you create a habit to help reinforce that. And indeed, I do think they go well together.

I know for myself, and often when I’m working with clients when we think about making a change, we don’t want to deal with establishing a small habit. Instead, we just want to make the change all at once.

As a throwback to the last episode inspired by a phrase, we resist the idea of slowing down to speed up, and we just want the change now. We want to have an organized space now. We want to have a productive way of planning our day now. We want to stop procrastinating our work now. We want to stick to a bedtime routine now.

Yes, we know that habits are helpful. We know that habits create lasting change. We’ve heard this time and time again.

But at the same time, we also have lots of evidence from our past that it’s challenging to gradually establish and stick with new habits by building on them step by step.

It just feels so much more exciting to dive in and do everything at once. I know I’m not alone here.

Example:

Maybe you want to step into a mindfulness practice.

But your brain offers some sneaky compelling thought like, “it’s not like one or two minutes of mindfulness will do anything. I have to do 30 minutes… I mean, it can’t possibly count if it’s less than 30 minutes.

So, you decide you’re going to go all in and begin this mindfulness journey with 30 minutes of mindfulness every day.

If you’re anything like me, you last two, maybe three days, and then that commitment is too much to stick with because it’s too far away from my usual pattern.

In the past, I use this as evidence against myself. I think, see? There we go again. Can’t stick with it. I knew I shouldn’t try. Establishing habits just doesn’t work for me.

If this sounds familiar at all. If you have also told yourself you’re bad at habits and they don’t work for you.

Or if you are someone who wants to make a change or adopt a new practice or learn a new skill, but you’ve had a hard time sticking with this process in the past, then you are in the right place.

Today we’re talking about how to do that by identifying the one small habit that will make the biggest difference for you.

So we’ll talk about:

• Habits and take a quick look at the science of habit formation
• Why habits can be a challenge for the ADHD brain in particular
• How you can make this change or adopt this new skill by identifying that one powerful habit for you to focus on.

Sound good? Let’s get started.

The Science of Habit Formation

Let’s take a quick look at the mechanics of habit formation first, okay?

Scientists have found that habit formation is a process that largely occurs in the basal ganglia, which is a part of the brain responsible for controlling our motor movements and our emotions, memories, and pattern recognition.

When we engage in a repeated behavior, we establish a neural pathway in the basal ganglia that allows us to perform the behavior automatically, and this is known as the habit loop.

The habit loop consists of 3 components:

• A cue – a trigger that signals the brain to initiate the habit
• A routine – the behavior or the habit itself
• A reward – the positive outcome that reinforces the habit loop

When we repeat these three components regularly, we ingrain the habit in our brain’s neural pathways, which ultimately makes it easier to perform the behavior automatically.

The reason we’re able to do this is because of our brain’s neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to change and adapt, so it makes sense that it plays a role in habit formation.

When we engage in a behavior repeatedly, the neural pathways associated with that behavior become stronger and more efficient. The opposite is also true, meaning that when we stop engaging in a behavior, the neural pathways associated with that behavior become less efficient.

All of this means that habits can be changed or replaced over time when we stick with them.

Of course, this is a super fast overview of the mechanics of habit formation, and if you want to learn more about it, you could check out any of my other episodes on habit formation.

I also highly recommend checking out:

• James Clear’s Atomic Habits
• BJ Foggs Tiny Habits

These two books will give you a general understanding of habits to put into context what we’re looking at today.

As I talked through this quick overview of habit and habit formation, some of your brains may have zoomed in on a few choice words in my description.

• I said that we form these neural pathways by sticking with something.
• I talked about needing to do things repeatedly.

You may be thinking to yourself, “Yeah…that doesn’t work for me. I’m terrible at remembering to follow through on things.”

Establishing Habits When You Have ADHD is Hard

I hear you. Really, I do. And in fact, I want to normalize this. It’s true that establishing habits when you have ADHD requires more work. It is harder for our brains to remember.

If we think along the lines of our executive functions, establishing habits requires task initiation, which is a big obstacle for us.

Some examples of these obstacles:

These are requirements needed to build a habit, but these are also obstacles for the ADHD brain:

Sequencing

Sequencing is breaking something bigger down into steps and putting them in order.

Memory Retention

Our short-term memory retention can make it more challenging to actually remember to do the habit.

We lack appropriate levels of dopamine in our brain, which means that our motivation is inherently lower, and we don’t get that same level of reward at the end of completing the habit as another brain might.

Cognitive Flexibility

On top of all of that, we have our cognitive flexibility – which is our all-or-nothing thinking coming into play. 

This might sound like, 

“I have to do the entire habit or entire routine all at once – I can’t do smaller pieces or doesn’t count. It won’t make a difference. I need to make the change now; otherwise, what’s the point of doing it at all? I must do it perfectly or not at all. If I’ve missed a day, I failed.”

You know these thoughts, right? And thought so. Me too.

Now here’s the deal, YES, it can definitely be more challenging for an ADHD brain to establish a habit. But also, it is possible to do it. 

It can also be absolutely instrumental in helping you make any change that you want to in your life. And what’s more, it helps you not only make a change but also do so sustainably. It allows you to do so in the long run.

Building a Habit is Similar To The Foundation of a House

When we don’t have that solid foundation, the house is unstable. It’s wobbly. We never know if it’s going to collapse. 

Similarly, without a few key habits and routines, our lives can seem a bit chaotic and untethered. We may find ourselves feeling overwhelmed quite often. 

However, when we establish a solid foundation of habits or routines, we create a sense of stability and structure that allows us to thrive.

Additionally, when we establish just a few key habits that support our own unique goals – not the habits we think we “should” have because they’re the ones everyone says are important – but rather the habits that support YOU.

When you have THOSE key habits, they can also help you automate certain aspects of your life and free up your mental energy and space for the things that matter most to you.

You don’t have to spend mental energy deciding what to do next.

How do we establish new habits?

In order to do this, we’re going to start by reflecting on a phrase – as I love to do – that I think will put the theme of today’s podcast into context.

This is not a phrase that I grew up hearing, but it’s one that I really like.

“Big doors swing on little hinges.”

When I looked up who first said this quote, I found it’s often attributed to a businessman and philanthropist named W. Clement Stone, who was born in 1902. 

Now, it’s also possible that someone used this phrase before him. But either way, I always try to cite my sources, so I CAN tell you that it was likely Stone who popularized it.

Sometimes I like to think about it in the reverse…

Little hinges swing big doors. 

What does this mean, specifically?

For those of us in this busy-awesome community, I think the phrase “big doors swing on little hinges” is a powerful reminder that…

Small actions and habits can lead to big results over time. 

It means that small changes or adjustments can have a massive impact on our productivity, our time management, and our ability to work with our ADHD brains to thrive.

Small Habits & Routines Help You Achieve Your Goals

When it comes to productivity, small habits or routines can make a huge difference in achieving our goals. 

For example, maybe you begin incorporating 2-3 small breaks throughout your workday.

• Going for a walk
• Stretching
• Doing some NDSR (non sleep deep rest)

You find that this small hinge helps to completely refresh your mind and increase your overall focus so you can complete those top three priorities you identified.

Or maybe you begin using a timer to mark specific amounts of time that you work on each task to help increase focus and reduce distractions.

You find that this small hinge of turning the dial on your timer (this is the one I use) or pressing start on your phone timer to break up your work blocks helps you increase your focus because you’re using containers of time, marked by the timer, to compartmentalize your projects. 

You discover that one hinge is super supportive for getting you into flow more easily.

Or maybe your small hinge in turning off notifications and silencing your phone for 2 hours of your workday. You find that your effectiveness skyrockets because you have the space to sink into the important but not urgent tasks that we often skip for the seemingly urgent fires that always vie for our attention.

Try This Exercise (To Help Decide What Habits To Focus On)

So again, “big doors swing on little hinges”. 

As you think about this phrase, I invite you to do a mental inventory of your life right now. 

• Where are things working really well? 
• Where do you things feel a little bit sticky?

Once you identify these areas, you can ask yourself, 

• With the areas that are working well, what are the hinges? 
• What’s helping me make this work? 
• Is there anything I can learn from what’s working to apply to what feels sticky? 

Then we turn to the sticky areas: 

• Why does this feel particularly sticky? 
• What is a small hinge that we might use to make the entire process swing easier?

As your brain searches for an answer to that question, it will probably start pretty big. 

It will offer a big problem, and if it’s anything like mine, it will think of a rather complex solution. 

If this happens, it’s totally normal. As I said, my brain does this too. What we want to do is keep getting smaller. 

Example of ‘Sticky’ Areas:

I will walk you through some examples of how we might do this.

Let’s say that your sticky area is not having enough time. 

More specifically, you find that you are overbooked, overcommitted, and entirely too busy. 

You don’t have time to tend to all the commitments you’ve made, let alone make time for rest or being a human. I’m guessing this might resonate with a handful of you.

Now, if we start problem-solving from here, your brain might start by offering a big solution like, 

“I’m going to time block every single day and make sure that I know exactly what I’m going to do and how much time I need for each commitment. I will consult my calendar every time I think about adding something new to it, and I will never have more than X number of commitments going on at once.”

Here’s the deal. Each of these strategies may be supportive, in fact, for some brains, having all of them together could be really supportive. But that’s not a little hinge. 

What’s more, there’s a whole lot of all or nothing in that statement. We’re telling ourselves we’ll do it every single time and with every commitment. 

There’s not a whole lot of room for humanity. That sounds like a robot plan, not a human plan.

However, what if we pause a moment and think about the hinge? 

What might be one small thing that could really make a difference in our tendency to overcommit? 

For example, maybe the hinge is that you…

• Wait 24 hours before agreeing to any new project, commitment, or event. That might be the hinge.
• Wait for 24 hours, and you figure out what’s actually required of this new project or activity, and you check in with your reasons of why you’re considering saying yes.
  • Is it a full body yes? Or is it an intellectual should?
• Wait 24 hours, and you check in with a friend or your partner who is not time blind.
  • You ask them, knowing what my current schedule looks like, does it seem reasonable to add this on right now? This is something I’ll often do with either my coach or Ryan when I’m thinking about adding something new to my plate. Is this Paula’s fantasy-schedule time? Or is this real human time?

Again, rather than committing to an entirely new process of scheduling, time blocking, consulting your schedule, etc., to navigate this obstacle of overcommitting, maybe the hinge can simply be waiting 24 hours before you agree to the new request. 

That little hinge could swing a big door in regard to how you choose to spend your time and how you’re showing up each day.

Example of a Small Hinge To Focus On

Let’s say that you’re feeling incredibly distractible.

It’s not just your normal distractibility that comes with having an ADHD brain, but it seems even more intensified. 

Knowing this, maybe the big shift that you want to make is ensuring that you get enough sleep each night. 

Now I know I’ve talked about bedtime and sleep on this podcast before, and to all my clients who have battled the bedtime routine repeatedly, you know I get it. Shifting your sleep schedule can be quite an undertaking.

Rather than trying to overhaul everything about our sleep schedule, maybe our hinge is that all screens go off at 10. That’s it. 

Does this mean that you may still stay awake puttering around the house? Absolutely. But also, I know for many of us that this weird time warp happens in front of a screen. 

So, what if that small hinge of screens off at 10 could make a really big shift in bedtime?

One of my bedtime hinges happens early on in the evening right after work. 

I immediately wash my face and put on my comfy clothes when I’m done for the day. In other words, I essentially get ready for bed after the workday is done. 

Washing my face was always a huge reason why I resisted going to bed at the end of the day. 

I know this might sound ridiculous to some of you, but late at night, after I’m finally tired enough to go to bed, the idea of having to go wash my face and scrub off my eye makeup and take out my contacts and do the whole bedtime routine thing just required way too much executive function. 

So I started doing it as part of my transition out of work and into home mode. And this was huge for me. This was a hinge.

Use The Big Doors Swing On Little Hinges For Your Habit Change

You can use this concept of “big doors swing on little hinges” with anything. 

Whether you’re procrastinating a task, struggling to prioritize your projects, wanting to strengthen your follow through muscle, getting more organized in different areas of your life, or making progress on specific goals, I encourage you to find that hinge.

To do that, you can ask yourself, 

• What is the challenge right now? 
• What is the hinge?

Now, be careful of perfectionist thinking here. Your brain may tell you that you have to know the exact right hinge immediately, right off the top of your head. You don’t. 

Just like everything, it’s a process of iteration. Take a guess. What might that hinge be?

Once you find your ‘little hinge’, that is the habit we want to establish. 

That is the habit we want to lock in. 

After you identify the habit:

• Create some clarity around the cue that will remind you to do the thing, the habit itself- and the behavior you’ll do
• Reward you’ll experience after. And as you’re working to establish that habit, I encourage you to make the reward as immediate as possible. Help your brain really lock it in.
  • Celebrate yourself for making it happen. This is an important part of helping rewire that neural pathway.

So again, what’s the obstacle or challenge? What’s the hinge? Then take that hinge and turn it into a habit by getting clear on the cue, habit, and reward cycle. Sound good?

Busy Being Awesome Tip of the Week

With that, I am excited to share a busy awesome tip of the week, which comes from Emily Morrison. I’m so excited about this tip because it’s a hinge that focuses on transitions, which as you all know, is my kryptonite.

Emily writes, 

“My hack is setting Alexa reminders for my transition times. I have a very varied schedule and work in two different countries, so every day is different, and routines are hard.

Previously I would be afraid to focus on something if I had other things coming up because many times if I really do focus, I miss that transition time that allows me to get to a meeting on time. Alarms don’t always work because I have to remember what they’re for and what it means.

But at the end of the week, I now plan the next week, and I tell Alexa to remind me something like “you need to leave for XYZ meeting in 15 minutes” or “ABC zoom meeting starts in 10 minutes.” I do that for every appointment or transition that I know will not change that week. 

This way, I know what the reminder is for, what action I have to take, and how much time I have. This allows me to wrap up what I’m working on much more effectively, and I’m not afraid of focusing on my projects between events.”

Emily, I could not possibly love this tip more. It is brilliant. By building in transition times into your day and doing so with specifics of what’s coming up next, you’re lightening the load on your executive functions so much. What’s more, you’re allowing yourself to get into focus as well. This is so good, and I am so excited for everybody to try it. Thank you so much for sharing.

If you have a tip of the week that you want to share with our busy awesome community, do you send me a message. You can reach out over on Instagram, I am @imbusybeingawesome or send me an e-mail Paula @ I’m busy being awesome.com. I can’t wait to share your quick tip or strategy with everyone.

Alright, my friends, that will do it for us this week 

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Until next time, keep being awesome. I’ll talk with you soon.