How To Have Fun When Working On Your Goals

Can the words ‘fun’ and ‘goal’ exist in the same sentence for an ADHD brain? Absolutely! But if you’re a little skeptical of this possibility, you’re not alone.

Many of us with ADHD experience a real heaviness around both setting and reaching our goals.

Our all-or-nothing thinking has us believing:

• We can’t make progress.
• We never follow through.
• If we’re not perfect the first time, it’s not worth trying.

Today I want to challenge that mindset with three powerful steps to help transform how you approach your goals.

It’s time to release your perfectionism, celebrate your progress, and discover the delight of setting, working toward, and achieving your goals.

It’s time to have fun again.

Because you deserve it.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover How To

• Recognize and celebrate your progress by setting achievable milestones. 
• Let go of expectations and embrace flexibility in outcomes and approaches.
• Intentionally introduce playfulness to your experience of goals overall

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Episode #210: How To Have Fun When Working On Your Goals (Transcript)  

How’s it going today? Wherever and whenever you are listening to this episode, I invite you to pause for a moment and think about one thing we’re celebrating about YOU today. Big or small, it doesn’t matter.

Also, I invite you to notice if your brain resists this.

Notice if it focuses on all the things that have gone wrong or where you could have or should have done more.

If it does, then let those judgments pass by. And then redirect your focus on one thing you’re proud of. What are you celebrating today?

Maybe you’ve wanted to have time for breakfast in the mornings, and today you got yourself out of bed six minutes earlier, and you made it happen! Heck yeah!

Perhaps you paused to check your calendar before agreeing to add another commitment to your list, and when you checked, you realized you didn’t have time in your time budget and said no. That’s huge!

The day I’m recording this marks exactly one month ago that I moved into my house, and I just scheduled a service appointment for one of the appliances that have been on my list this entire month. It just hadn’t made it to the top of the list until now, but I got it scheduled, and it feels so good to have that done.

So pause. Think about what you’re celebrating today.

See yourself and recognize the work you’re doing. It matters. What you’re doing matters. And when we see that, it makes the whole process so much more enjoyable.

Having Fun While Working Toward Your Goals

With that in mind, today we’re talking about the importance of focusing on fun when it comes to setting, working toward, and reaching your goals.

If your brain is questioning,

“Wait, is that even possible? You can have FUN when you’re working toward a goal?”

First, you’re not alone. Second, YES, it is possible! And third, you’re in the right place.

A lot of us ADHD brains have a rocky relationship with goals and goal setting, so much so that many of us have gotten to the point where we resist setting goals altogether. Or if we do set them, there’s a lot of heaviness around it.

We’ll talk about some of the reasons why many of us have this tenuous relationship with goals in this episode, but regardless of the specific reasons why we tend to resist goals and goal setting, I think one of the key components to removing that resistance is by focusing on fun.

Now as it sometimes happens, today’s topic was inspired by something completely unrelated to ADHD, coaching, or productivity.

Instead, I was texting with my sister, and a sentence that she shared really stood out to me. It got my brain turning, and this episode is the result. But before I tell you the sentence, I’ll give a little context.

The Background of This Episode

My four-year-old niece just started taking swimming lessons. She’d never taken them before, and I texted my sister to see how they were going. She replied saying that on the first day of lessons, my niece had a lot of fun, but on the second day, she cried a lot.

Now at first, I figured it was because she maybe felt scared of the water or she didn’t want to put her face in the water or something like that. I was a lifeguard and taught swimming lessons for years, which was very common for kids.

But Megen explained that my niece was crying because she was feeling frustrated and was being hard on herself when she couldn’t get it right.

Now I simultaneously wanted to drive over to my sister’s house and give my niece the biggest hug because she’s magic and amazing, and I never want her to feel any negative emotions ever.

But also, I could completely relate to her experience 100%. I’m guessing you can, too.

You have a picture in your mind of how things should go or what something should look like. You understand a concept intellectually and what’s supposed to happen. But then you try and do the thing yourself, and it just doesn’t look like the picture. Or it just doesn’t go as smoothly as the demonstration. Something’s missing.

Quite frankly, I think that experience can be so challenging for any human full stop.

And it’s especially challenging when you’re incredibly excited and trying so hard to make it happen.

So that’s the background/context that inspired the sentence I’m about to share.

A few days later, I text Megen again to see how my niece was doing, and Megen said, “So much better. Braver and braver every day. We told her to focus on fun.”

To which I promptly responded, “Focus on fun is the best goal, and also sounds like a great podcast topic.”

So here we are… not talking about swimming lessons, but we are talking about the importance of focusing on fun, and more specifically, why I think this mantra is one of the key components to helping those of us with ADHD set, work toward, and achieve our goals.

I also think it’s one of the key components that most of us completely overlook.

In fact, rather than focusing on fun, our ADHD brains tend to get trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, as we explored in last week’s episode, number 209. Many of us, when it comes to goal setting and achievement, find ourselves striving for perfection and usually get quite hard on ourselves when things don’t go exactly as planned.

So today, we’re talking about how we can step out of this heavy, more serious stance on goal setting and achievement and instead focus on fun so much more often.

Because, spoiler alert, not only does focusing on fun make the process of setting and working your goals more enjoyable, but it also makes achieving them so much more likely.

So, let’s dive in!

Working On Your Goals Is Fun!

Today I want to offer that working toward goals can absolutely be fun. And not just when things are going “well.”

I want to offer that working toward goals can be fun, EVEN WHEN IT’S HARD.

I want to propose that we can do this when:

1. We learn how to stop being so hard on ourselves when things don’t go perfectly the first time and start recognizing our progress and wins along the way.

2. We can learn how to hold our goals more loosely without the relentless pressure behind them.

3. We start intentionally introducing a light, playful approach to goal setting overall.

When we can learn how to do these three things, that’s when goals become fun. That’s how we focus on the fun.

So let’s talk about how to do that, starting with recognizing our progress along the way.

Step 1: Recognize and Celebrate Your Progress

This is such a key step because by learning to acknowledge your progress and wins along the way to reaching your goal, you ultimately create a healthier and more sustainable approach overall.

Setting Smaller Milestones

To begin, I think it’s really helpful when we take that big goal and break it down into smaller, more achievable milestones.

I’m sure this tip comes as a surprise to absolutely NOBODY since I talk about breaking things down all the time.

But I’m telling you, it’s everything. When we have a big goal in mind, it can often seem super overwhelming and distant.

By breaking it down into smaller milestones, we create manageable steps that are easier to tackle.

Now, these smaller milestones not only provide us with…

• A precise roadmap to get to the larger goal, but also
• Clear pause points for us to slow down
• The ability to recognize our progress and celebrate that accomplishment

With each of these benchmarks, we have this powerful opportunity to remind ourselves that we ARE moving forward and we ARE making tangible strides toward our ultimate goal.

By celebrating these milestones and recognizing our progress, we help reinforce our belief in the goal while strengthening our determination and commitment to making it happen.

So again, step one is to release the expectation that we do everything perfectly the first time, and instead focus on the progress we make along the way.

And one of the best ways we can foster this mindset is by making very clear, tangible, realistic benchmarks that allow us to see that progress with ease.

Step 2: Letting Go of Expectations: Holding the Goal Loosely

Now the second step to helping us focus on the fun with goal setting is to let go of our expectations and hold our goals so much more loosely.

I’m telling you, it’s so helpful when we can loosen that tight grip so many of us have on reaching the goal.

How on earth do we do this?

Honestly, what does holding our goals loosely even mean?

Again, for those of us with ADHD and ADHD tendencies who also navigate perfectionism, letting go of our expectations of the outcome can be particularly challenging.

Our all-or-nothing brain holds tight to the perfect example we saw on Pinterest, or the completely unrealistic perfectionist schedule we created in our mind.

When we don’t create that exact result – when we don’t replicate the exact Pinterest image, or we don’t manage to finish our schedule with 60 hours’ worth of work in one day – we can often experience some big emotions.

We do because we’re making this perceived failure mean something unkind about us.

We’re making it mean that we’re incapable, unworthy, or not enough.

What I invite us to do here is to take a step back and loosen our grip just a bit. There are lots of ways we can do this, and for the sake of time, I’m going to focus on two today.

Flexibility in Outcome

The first way we can loosen our grip is by creating a lot more flexibility in the outcome and creating lots of opportunities for different definitions of success.

So this means that we intentionally open our minds to different results, and we show our brains how we can define success in many different ways.

For example, if I decided to run in the Boston Marathon

(Let’s just pretend I had any hope of qualifying for that kind of time!)

I could define success as…

• Being the first person across the finish line… but I guarantee you that if that was my only way of measuring success, I would be sorely disappointed.
• The fact that I showed up. That I even qualified. That I averaged a certain time with my mile, which allowed me to even register in the first place.
• Happening earlier with training, and all the hard work and miles I logged prior to the race.
  • From that perspective, I had already reached success by race day.

Again, holding the goal loosely can mean staying open to different outcomes and recognizing that success is not just one thing. There can be multiple paths and variations available.

Adaptability in Approach

Similarly, the second way we can hold our goals loosely is by allowing for flexibility in how we actually get to the goal. So the first example is having flexibility in what the actual goal is.

This example is having flexibility in how we reach that goal.

So rather than sticking rigidly to a predetermined plan, we can hold our goal loosely by being willing to adjust our strategies, or methods, or timelines as needed.

For example, if I decided I wanted to take a road trip to New Orleans

I could rigidly hold onto the plan that I must use my car to drive there.

But if my car broke down, or for some reason, I couldn’t drive it anymore, I’m stuck. I’d fail the goal.

However, when I am adaptable in my approach, and I allow for spontaneity, creativity, and the ability to pivot with any unexpected challenges, I realize I still have plenty of options.

I could…

Take a motorcycle.

Catch a bus.

Technically bike or walk

Heck, I could hop on a boat in Minneapolis and ride the Mississippi all the way down to New Orleans.

So again, the second step in helping us focus on fun when it comes to working toward and reaching our goals is to hold those goals loosely.

And while there are many ways we can do this, two very powerful approaches are by staying open and flexible both in our outcome and our approach to getting there.

Step 3: Intentionally Introduce Fun

Finally get to step three, which is all about incorporating a more playful, lighthearted approach to the process of setting and reaching our goals overall.

There are so many ways we can do this. In fact, it was really fun for me to brainstorm a whole list of ideas.

So I’m going to share several with you here, and I invite you to notice which ones stand out to you.

Which ones make you think to yourself, “Hmm, that actually sounds kind of fun. I can see how that feels a little lighter. I could see how if I had that mindset or incorporated that approach, the entire process could be much more enjoyable.”

So again, notice how you respond to these different ideas and lean into the ones that catch your attention.

Set Meaningful Milestones

Now the first suggestion is one that I hope you are already doing because we talked about it earlier on in the episode. And this is setting benchmarks or milestones.

But to help bring in a more playful, light nature, I want to add a qualifier here.

I encourage you to:

• Set meaningful milestones
• Intentionally choose fun ways to celebrate when you reach each one

I encourage you to choose we used to celebrate that bring you absolute delight. Choose ways to celebrate that genuinely look forward to.

You can ask yourself, “how can I choose mini-celebrations that bring even greater joy into the process?”

For example, maybe you set a goal for yourself to learn how to cook a new cuisine. and you decide to celebrate each benchmark by inviting people you love to come taste-test the key recipes within that cuisine. How fun would that be?

Again, each milestone becomes an opportunity for celebration and a reminder of the progress you’re making.

When you celebrate these milestones in a way that brings you joy it adds a sense of fun to the process.

Gamify Your Tasks

My second suggestion is to gamify the process. Turn the smaller steps or tasks that get you to each benchmark into games or challenges.

• Create a point system
• Use a timer
• Compete with yourself
• Involve your friends and family in are you friendly competition

I’m not super competitive, so that last suggestion wouldn’t work well for me. But I have so many friends who love to compete, and so that can be super fun.

By gamifying the process, you introduce excitement into what could otherwise be a mundane activity.

It’s often the smaller, more tedious tasks that are part of the process – they’re needed in order to move us forward on our benchmarks – and gamifying the process helps weave in the fun to help engage the brain and keep you going.

Incorporate Variety and Novelty

Another great way to introduce play and lightness to the goal process is to inject variety and novelty into the journey.

This might look like:

• Exploring different approaches, techniques, or methods related to your goal
• Switching up your routines, the environments in which you work, or the tools you use to keep things fresh and exciting

I’m telling you, don’t underestimate this one.

I know for myself, sometimes simply switching up my environment and working outside on the deck, or turning on some different music, or writing out my ideas with pen and paper instead of using my computer can be just what I need to reignite my interest and enjoyment of the process.

Embrace Collaboration and Connection

The last suggestion I have today in regard to incorporating a lightness and playfulness into the goal setting process is to embrace collaboration and connect with others who share similar goals or interests.

This can be incredibly powerful when you are working toward both personal and professional goals.

There’s so much opportunity for new ideas, connections, and fresh opportunities when you seek support and collaboration from close friends, small communities in which you’re involved, close colleagues, accountability partners, your coach, etc.

Now, I’m not going to lie. This is not my go-to approach since I’ve always been in a field where you work pretty independently.

However, when I’ve leaned into collaboration and connection with like-minded people, especially over the last three to five years, it has genuinely added so many additional layers of enjoyment, and fun, and delight, and depth to the journey.

And it’s something that I plan to lean into even more going forward.

So if you two feel a little bit skeptical of this last suggestion around connection, first of all, I get it. But I also encourage you to stay open to it. Play around with it.

How might you connect with someone else who’s working toward a similar goal or is on a similar journey?

Is there a community you could join or a class you could take that connects you with others with a similar passion or pursuing the same new skill?

Make creating that connection and opportunity for collaboration, you also create greater space for delight, and laughter, and fun as well.

Final Thoughts & Next Steps

So this week I invite you to check in on any of the goals you are working toward right now.

How do you feel when you think about them?

Do you feel light and filled with joy?

Or is there a sense of heaviness and dread?

Regardless of your answer, but especially if you currently feel some heaviness around your goals, I encourage you to lean into this three-step process to help your brain focus on fun.

1. Release the need to do things perfectly the first time and start recognizing your progress and wins along the way by setting smaller, achievable benchmarks.

2. Begin holding your goals more loosely without the relentless pressure behind them by having flexibility in both outcome and approach.

3. Try introducing a more light, playful approach to goal setting overall by:

• Setting meaningful milestones with intentionally fun ways to celebrate
• Gamifying your tasks
• Introducing novelty and variety to the process
• Embracing more collaboration and connection with others on a similar journey as you

I would absolutely love to hear how this goes for you.

Head over to Instagram I am @imbusybeingawesome and let me know what goal you’re working toward or how you’re weaving fun throughout the process. You can share it on the post for the episode or send me a DM. I’d love to connect with you, and I can’t wait to hear about it.

Alright, my friends, that’s going to do it for us this week.

If you’re ready to take these concepts deeper and apply them to your life. If you’re ready to learn how to support your ADHD in a way that works for YOU, then I invite you to check out my small group coaching program, We’re Busy Being Awesome. And if it sounds like a great fit for you, you can add your name to the waitlist so you’re the first to know when the next cohort begins. 

Also, have you grabbed the podcast roadmap yet? It has the most popular episodes all detailed for you so you can get yourself up to speed and ready to work with your ADHD brain, you can grab it HERE!

Until next time, keep being awesome. I’ll talk with you soon.