How To Redefine Success and Focus on Small Wins

As we close in on the end of the year, many of us feel that familiar pull to look back and reflect. But let’s be honest: this reflection often turns into a list of “could-have-beens” instead of a celebration of what we actually accomplished – our small wins. This is why it’s time to redefine success so we can celebrate small wins, that can truly add up.

If you have an ADHD brain, however, it can be easy to slip into thoughts like “What did I even do with my time?” or “Did I accomplish anything at all?”

If this sounds familiar, and you’re feeling discouraged as you reflect on goals you didn’t reach or resolutions that didn’t quite stick, I want to offer you a fresh perspective: you’re doing so much better than you think.

You see, traditional goal-tracking often misses the mark for ADHD brains. We’re navigating a brain that thrives on flexibility, positive reinforcement, and celebrating wins along the way. 

That’s why, in episode 283 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we dive into the real reasons why noticing your progress is essential for sustained motivation. 

Then, we explore ten powerful (and often surprising) ways to recognize your growth—ways that go far beyond the rigid S.M.A.R.T. goal framework.

As you listen, I’m confident you’ll find yourself in these examples. And when you do, I invite you to pause, take a breath, and celebrate how you’ve been showing up strong this year. 

I think you’ll be pleased with all the ways you’re “busy being awesome.”

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 283: You Will Discover:

• Why traditional success metrics often miss the mark for ADHD brains and how to redefine progress on your own terms.
• Ten powerful (yet surprising!) ways to recognize your growth this year.
• How celebrating your wins creates lasting motivation and builds a foundation for future success.

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Episode #283 – How To Redefine Success and Focus on Small Wins (Transcript)

So, here we are—closing in on the end of the year. And if you’re anything like me, you probably feel that pull to reflect.

There’s something about this time of year. The calendar’s winding down, and we start to feel that urge to think back on what happened over the past twelve months. In fact. I love this time of year for just that reason…but that wasn’t always the case. 

In fact, for much of my adult life, I would come to this part of the year, and I’d have this sinking in my gut as I thought,

“Did I accomplish anything this year?” 

“It’s not like I stuck with any of those resolutions I set in January. Did I move any closer to my big goals? Ugh, it seems like all I did…once again… was drift. And let life happen to me.” 

If we’ve experienced this before, it’s easy to start building a whole mental narrative around it, like, “Here I go again, not living up to my own expectations.” It’s frustrating, and it’s a cycle I know so many of us go through.

If that’s where your mind is going right now, first of all, know this: you are so not alone. I think this is something we all feel to some degree, especially for those of us navigating shifting seasons of life or who find the traditional ideas of “goal success” don’t quite capture all the things we’re juggling and handling.

We’ve all been told how important it is to “stay consistent,” track our goals, and reach those milestones. Now if you’ve heard episodes 268 and 269 on Redefining ADHD & Consistency, you know my thoughts on that. 

What I want to offer today is…

How we define success and accomplishment is entirely in our control.

While we can keep the more traditional measures of goal setting and linear progress, we might also choose to define our success more fluidly and responsively, celebrating the way we adapt to each day’s new challenges.

Here’s the truth: You are not falling short. In fact, today, I’m here to argue that you’re doing way better than you think. You’ve made some truly remarkable waves this year, and this episode is all about helping you see the ways you have shown up, the ways you’ve navigated this year, and how you’ve absolutely made powerful progress in your life.

4 Reasons Redefining Success is So Important

Now, you might be thinking, “Sure, Paula, that sounds nice. But why does it really matter if I see my own progress?” And I get it—because when you’re in the day-to-day grind, taking time to notice these wins can feel like fluff or just extra.

Recognizing our growth is absolutely critical for long-term success, especially with an ADHD brain or navigate ADHD tendencies.

Why? Well, we know that motivation and follow-through can be a challenge. We’re working with a brain that doesn’t respond in a predictable way to those traditional, step-by-step goal structures.

Our brains thrive on positive reinforcement, on seeing quick, measurable progress, on knowing our efforts actually amount to something. And when we don’t see those wins?

When we constantly tell ourselves, “I didn’t do enough” or “I fell short”? It can feel like pouring water on the spark of motivation we need to keep going.

1. ADHD Brains Need Positive Momentum

Recognizing these small wins gives us momentum. It builds confidence and shows us that, yes, our efforts are making a difference.

Every time we acknowledge a way we showed up, overcame a challenge or stuck with something hard, we’re teaching our brains to see our own success.

Here’s why this matters: Over time, that practice of noticing our progress actually helps create more of it. It builds a feedback loop where we get to see and feel the results of our work, which is especially powerful when ADHD brains thrive best with positive reinforcement to stay engaged.

2. Acknowledging Small Wins Keeps Us Moving Forward

Think about it—if we’re always focused on what we didn’t do, or where we didn’t meet our expectations, it’s like we’re starting each new goal, already believing we’re behind.

This mindset makes it even harder to generate the motivation to keep trying. But when we flip that perspective and start seeing our small wins alongside our resilience, our adaptability, and our strength in each challenge we’ve faced, we’re fueling our ability to keep moving forward.

3. We Get To Shift the Narrative Around “Success”

This practice is also important because it lets us rewrite the narrative around “success.”

As I mentioned earlier, we get to define what success looks like for us, based on our own journey and strengths.

By taking this approach, it means we’re not setting ourselves up to fail by holding ourselves to someone else’s standard. Instead, we’re building a realistic, empowering version of success that reflects our real lives and the unique ways we show up.

4. We’re Creating Lasting Change, One Win at a Time

Finally, recognizing our growth helps us create lasting change. When we see and acknowledge these small wins, we’re strengthening our belief in our abilities, which can be transformative.

Instead of telling ourselves, “I can never follow through” or “I’ll always struggle,” we’re saying, “Look at how far I’ve come. Look at what I can do.”

And that shift? That’s what helps us stay resilient, even when things get hard.

We’re rewiring how we see our progress, so we can build a strong foundation. One that’s built on commitment, self-trust, self-belief, and resilience – and our ability to bounce back and keep trying.

This is what fuels long-term growth and keeps us moving forward, with a real sense of momentum and purpose.

Traditional Goal Setting Doesn’t Always Work

Traditional goal-setting isn’t always the most supportive approach for brains like ours and, honestly, for most of us when life is especially unpredictable. Traditional goal-setting often expects a clear path, as if the journey from point A to point B will be simple, linear, and free of distractions or detours.

But that’s just not how life works.

When we set goals, we often don’t account for the unexpected plot twists that come our way.

Maybe it’s a sudden work project that takes priority, or an unplanned event in our personal lives that needs our attention. Or maybe it’s just one of those days where our executive functions are on a total vacation, and we’re struggling to get anything done.

For an ADHD brain, it’s common to experience these “plot twists,” and it’s not because we’re not capable—it’s just that life often asks us to adapt on the fly.

My Choice to Pivot (Re-Prioritizing a Big Goal)

This entire year, I’ve wanted to start horseback riding again. In fact, when I chose where to move in Minnesota last June, I chose to move a bit west of the Twin Cities because that’s where horse country is. That’s where you’ll find the stables and I wanted to remove as much friction as possible. 

I used to ride a lot, and for the last few years, I’ve felt this pull to literally get back in the saddle. I’m sure I’ve talked about it on the podcast before. And this year, I was so ready to make it happen. I put horseback riding on my list with a vision of reconnecting with something that brought me a lot of joy in the past. 

But as the year went on, life threw in some plot twists. There were unexpected events that had me shifting priorities to focus on supporting some family and friends who were going through some major events – which are not my story to tell – but it meant horseback riding moved much further down in priority on my list. 

Now, I think this probably sounds pretty reasonable on the surface, but let me tell you, I could absolutely get hard on myself here. And in the past, I would have. It would have been quite sneaky, too.

That crucial voice would have said something like, “If you would have used your time better, you could have done both. If you were more efficient with your time, you would have been able to fit it in. I think what’s really happening here is you’re just lazy.”

Does your brain ever find a way  To creep in like this? You’re doing something you genuinely want to do, and yet, it will find a way to critique.

Now, because I’ve done this work of regularly coaching my brain and really developed a greater sense of self-compassion and regularly practiced leaning into my values, I was able to sidestep that entirely, actually.

I knew that choosing to put horseback riding on hold wasn’t a failure; it was a conscious decision that reflected what mattered most to me this year. 

While I didn’t get back in the saddle just yet, I showed up for my loved ones in ways that felt true to one of my top values, which is connection. In other words, by choosing to show up in the way that I did, I was actually living more aligned with my values, which is a marker of success I choose to use. 

I offer this example to show you how there are many ways we can look at our “progress.”

Even though I didn’t check this goal off my list for 2024, I’m not seeing it as a missed opportunity. Instead, it’s a reminder that sometimes our priorities shift to honor our values, and that’s a different kind of success. Plus, I know the goal of getting back to riding is still there, ready for when the time is right.

10 Small Win Examples To Help You Redefine Success

We’ve talked about why traditional measures of success often miss the mark; now, let’s dig into ten real ways you’ve made progress this year.

These are the wins that really count—the moments where your growth, resilience, and adaptability shine through. And I’m betting you’ll recognize yourself in more than a few of these.

1. Notice the Hard Things You Faced Without a Roadmap

It’s no secret that life has a funny (or not-so-funny) way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect it. Maybe this year, you navigated a sudden job loss, or you needed to step into a demanding caregiver role unexpectedly.

There wasn’t a clear roadmap for handling these challenges, but you pulled through day by day, finding resourcefulness and courage you didn’t even know you had. Facing these moments without any set plan shows incredible strength and resilience—even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.

2. Reflect on Skills You’ve Sharpened Through Small, Persistent Actions

Sometimes, progress doesn’t look like a big leap; it’s a series of small steps that build over time.

Maybe you’ve been working on setting boundaries for your well-being, saying “no” to protect your time, or prioritizing self-care in small ways. Each step might feel tiny, but those regular choices add up, building a stronger habit of self-respect and balance.

Every time you return to the practice, every small step you take is evidence of growth that’s so easy to overlook but makes a huge difference.

3. Recognize Your Ability to Pivot and Adjust Priorities

Life doesn’t always let us stick rigidly to our plans, and that’s okay.

Maybe you set a goal at the beginning of the year to take a class, dive into a creative project, or finally tackle a big home project, but then family responsibilities increased, or financial constraints shifted your focus.

Letting go of one goal to make space for another isn’t failure; it’s adaptability. This flexibility shows growth and a willingness to prioritize what truly matters to you right now.

4. See the Moments of Integrity in Daily Choices

Integrity often shows up in those quiet, everyday choices.

Maybe you wanted to save more money this year, and even if you didn’t reach a specific savings goal, you made choices aligned with your values.

Or perhaps you chose to cook at home instead of eating out, or supported local businesses close to your heart. These might feel small, but each of these choices reflects your integrity and commitment to what matters to you.

5. Recognize the Gray Between the Black and White of Reaching Your Goal

Progress isn’t always all-or-nothing. When we’re working toward a goal, it’s easy to fall into black-and-white thinking—believing we’ve either fully succeeded or completely failed. But real growth often happens in the gray area in between.

Maybe you didn’t check off every single task on your list today, but you did make some progress toward your goal. Or perhaps you couldn’t stick to a habit every day this week, but you still practiced it a few times. Those moments in the gray?

They’re wins, too. They’re evidence that you’re showing up and making intentional moves, even if it’s not perfect.

By recognizing those in-between steps, you’re building a more realistic and compassionate view of success—one that celebrates progress instead of perfection.

This acknowledgment helps create a positive feedback loop, showing you that each step forward counts, even if it’s not all the way to the finish line.

6. Acknowledge Times You Gave Yourself Grace Instead of Pushing

Giving ourselves grace can be one of the hardest lessons.

Maybe you had plans to dive into a new project, but your energy levels weren’t there. Instead of pushing through exhaustion, you chose to rest, knowing you’d come back stronger.

Honoring your limits without guilt shows incredible growth in self-compassion. Choosing rest isn’t always easy, but it’s a powerful act of self-support that protects your well-being.

7. Identify Growth in Emotional Resilience

Resilience often looks like learning to ride the waves of life, even when they’re rough.

This year, maybe you noticed yourself handling stressful situations a little differently. Perhaps you felt overwhelmed in a tough conversation, but you took a breath, and responded with a little more calm than before.

Perhaps you started using a few of the techniques we talked about in Episode 247 where we looked at 8 Discreet ADHD Emotional Regulation Strategies. Look back and notice how you navigated those emotions in intense situations – this is a big win in emotional growth and resilience.

8. Celebrate the Choices You Made Just for Joy

Even with a busy schedule, maybe you made space for something just because it felt good—like trying a new hobby, dancing to your favorite song, or spending an afternoon outdoors.

Choosing joy is a win. It brings balance, nourishes you, and strengthens your resilience, showing that you’re committed to creating a life that feels fulfilling.

9. Consider Moments When You Sought Out or Accepted Help

Asking for support is a sign of growth, not weakness. This year, maybe you reached out for help in a tough situation, asked a friend to listen, or leaned on a community for guidance.

Every time you allowed yourself to receive support, you showed self-awareness and compassion, reminding yourself that you don’t have to do everything on your own. That willingness to lean on others is a powerful mark of personal growth.

10. Look at the Times You Tried Again

Persistence is one of the greatest signs of growth.

Maybe you’ve been working on starting daily meditation or sticking with a creative practice. Even if you’ve had to restart it multiple times, each try is a success in itself.

Every attempt builds on the last, it offers the opportunity to learn from what worked and what didn’t, proving that you’re willing to keep going, even when the journey isn’t a straight line.

Recognizing the Bigger Picture

When we step back and look at all these wins we’ve just explored—the unexpected challenges you navigated, the small wins and habits you nurtured, the quiet choices that aligned with your values—we begin to see something truly powerful.

These are the real markers of your progress. These moments, these acts of resilience, adaptability, and self-compassion, tell the story of a year filled with growth and strength.

When we add up all of these moments, we start to see the full picture of just how much you’ve accomplished.

Every challenge you faced, every small choice you made for your well-being, every time you gave yourself grace instead of pushing through exhaustion—each of these choices is a step forward. They’re evidence that you’re “busy being awesome.” 

Encourage a New Tradition of Celebrating These Wins

Now, I want to invite you to try something this week.

Let’s start a tradition of self-celebration, a way to recognize your wins and see the full picture of your growth with real clarity and compassion.

Imagine creating your own “Year of Wins” list. Take a moment to think through these ten areas we discussed, and jot down the moments that resonate with you—the challenges you handled, the habits you nurtured, the times you showed up for yourself and others.

This doesn’t have to be an intense, overwhelming exercise. It could be a few words or a quick list that captures these moments.

The point isn’t to add another “task” to your plate; it’s to honor the work you’ve already done. By putting these wins on paper (or in a digital note, if that’s your style!), you’re creating a visual reminder of how much you’ve grown. 

Final Thoughts

As you wrap up this year, give yourself permission to see and celebrate each of these wins. Embrace the full picture of your journey, recognizing all the ways you’re growing, showing up, and living in alignment with your values.

This practice of self-celebration isn’t just a feel-good exercise—it’s a way to build a deeper belief in your own resilience and strength, something that will fuel you as you step into whatever comes next.

👉 If you’re ready to take these concepts and apply them to your life and learn how to support your ADHD in a way that’s best for you, I invite you to learn more about my small group coaching program, We’re Busy Being Awesome, and through one on one coaching. Join the waitlist below!

👉 Want to learn my simple step-by-step approach to locking in a routine and making it stick, be sure to check out my free course, the ADHD Routine Revamp.

I’ll talk with you soon.

Links From The Podcast

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• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources here
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• Get the Podcast Roadmap here
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