How To Achieve Goals With ADHD: 3-Step Process

Want to know how to achieve goals with ADHD? You’ve come to the right place.

When you use a GPS, three things need to happen.

• First, the GPS needs to know where you are.
• Second, you must tell the GPS specifically where you’re going.
• Third, you must follow the turn-by-turn instructions.

Guess what.

Reaching your goals is exactly the same. Whether you want to learn pottery, build a business, or read more often, the steps remain the same.

• Recognize where you are.
• Identify specifically where you’re going.
• Start taking action to get there.

And if you feel lost or you’re not making the progress you anticipated, it’s no problem!

It simply means you get to fill in one of these three missing elements.

On episode 193 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we explore how to identify which one and what you can do specifically to move forward.

So whether you’re just starting out on a new goal, you’re locking in your habits, or you’re at the last 20% and need that last push, this episode is a game changer.

Grab your earbuds and tune in now as we tackle your biggest goals together.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

In This Episode, You Will Discover

• Where you fit within the three steps
• What you can learn from this awareness
• 3 steps to follow to achieve your goals when you have ADHD

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.   

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for the entire podcast transcript. 

Episode #193: How To Achieve Goals With ADHD: 3-Step Process (Transcript)

Hello, everybody. How are you? Welcome back. Thank you – as always – for tuning in today. I know there are so many podcasts out there to listen to, and I do not take your time lightly. So again, thanks for being here.

Today we are looking at goal setting broadly defined.

I know not everyone loves the term goals. So this is essentially any objective or area where you want to make some progress.

Maybe it’s a new skill you want to develop, a desire to read more at night, or it’s a more specific goal like getting a promotion at work.

However you want to label this category today, please feel free to do so. I’m going to label it as working toward a goal because, according to Merriam-Webster, a goal is simply “the end toward which effort is directed.” So what are you directing your energy toward?

Goal Setting Through the Analogy of a GPS

I think I’ve used this analogy at some point in another episode, but I want to expand on it further today because I think it’s super effective at demonstrating some points I want to highlight today.

So, first of all, let’s situate ourselves in this analogy…

Think of a GPS system in a car. In order for it to work, you need three things.

1. First, you need to know where you are.
2. Second, you need to know where you’re going.
3. Third, you need to actually move for the GPS to work. 

Each of these steps is critical. You need all three in order to get anywhere. And if we’re not getting anywhere, or if we’re not moving in the direction we want, chances are, we’re missing one of these three parts.

If we don’t know where we’re currently located, the GPS can’t possibly point us in the right direction. It has no idea where to begin the instructions. Similarly, if it doesn’t know where to go, it doesn’t know what steps to give. There’s no clarity.

I can’t just hope my GPS will bring me to a restaurant if I turn it on… I need to know the address so it can create those instructions based on where we are currently. If I enter both of those details – where I am and where I’m going – but I don’t actually DRIVE, it doesn’t help me either.

For the obvious reason that we don’t move. But also, because sometimes, once we start moving, those original directions might make some adjustments.

In fact, this reminds me of when I first moved to Boston.

This was in 2007, so the GPS game was not nearly what it is now. I had a Garmin that plugged into the outlet in my car – remember these?

Well when I was downtown Boston, the GPS wouldn’t work amidst all the buildings. It couldn’t get a signal. Similarly, for those of you who have ever driven in Boston, you know how convoluted the roads and highways are. Nothing is labeled, the roads are all stacked on top of one another.

And the GPS would constantly get confused about what road I was actually on and would keep re-routing me in it’s chipper voice, “when possible, make legal U-turn.” It was SO maddening.

I swear it feels like that when we’re working toward goals but just feel lost and wandering. But rather than the GPS telling us in its calm, pleasant voice, it’s our scared toddler brain screaming – U-Turn NOW! U-Turn NOW! I have no idea where we are!!

So again, just like using a GPS in the car to get where we’re going, to make progress and reach our goals or destinations, we need to know:

• Where we are
• Where we’re going
• And we also need to take action to move towards our goals

3 Steps To Achieve Goals With ADHD

Let’s dive into each of these categories in more detail, and I’ll give lots of examples to help identify where you might be in your own journey.

So, think about the different goals and objectives you have on your mind right now – big or small – as we go through these examples.

As, in addition to helping you have greater clarity on where you’re at specifically, we’ll also explore common pitfalls that can derail our progress and talk through some strategies to help us either re-route or stay on track so we keep moving forward at a speed that feels safe and sustainable for you.

Step 1: Know Where You Are

So let’s start with step one, which is to know where you are.

For anyone who’s pursuing goals, and especially those of us with ADHD, knowing where you are currently at in whatever goal you’re working toward is a crucial first step when it comes to making progress and eventually reaching your goals.

Just like a GPS system, to get where you want to go, you need to know where you’re starting. 

Again, that’s how we get accurate turn-by-turn instructions. Otherwise, the GPS would have no idea what directions to give you. 

The same is true with our goals. 

When we pause to assess where we’re currently at, we can create a plan that considers our current season of life, any obstacles that might get in the way, how we might lean on our strengths and use them to move forward, etc. 

Without this information, it’s so much more challenging to create the process you want.

Examples

You want to declutter your home. 

Without knowing the current state of the different rooms in your space, it’s hard to make an accurate plan for how long it will take and how to make it happen. 

Can you do it? Sure. But probably not as effective as you could with knowing where you’re at first. 

When you know the specific rooms you’re going to focus on, the amount of stuff you anticipate going through, and you’ve identified when the donation place will pick up the extra items, you’re going to create a much more accurate plan that’s actionable.

This gives your brain the direction and support it needs to move forward.

You want to give a talk at your association’s annual conference and need to submit your abstract. 

If you don’t know where you’re at in your research, the requirements for the conference abstract, or how much work you need to do before submitting your documents, the chances of you reaching that end goal are much lower than if you slowed down and got a good look at where you currently are so you could create an accurate plan for yourself. 

Again, it’s certainly possible, but if it did happen, it would probably involve a great deal more stress.

This is because – if you’re like me – when we don’t have that additional information about where we’re starting, it often leads to procrastination, overwhelm, and frustration. 

We start spinning and get stuck in our heads without any idea how to move forward. Or we start trying a bunch of random things, but none of them seem to be related, so we’re not moving in any kind of straight line.

This is why I always talk about the importance of creating awareness for ourselves. 

I really think it’s the key to all growth. 

Whether you want to:

• Learn a new language
• Increase your effectiveness at work
• Sign more clients in your business

When we can pause and learn how to… step into a place of curiosity to figure out where we’re at, what strengths and skills we’re working with, and identify questions still need answered, that’s when we have clear direction to move us forward.

How do we create that clarity for ourselves?

Reflection Journaling

One of my favorite strategies for gaining clarity is reflection through journaling. 

I usually grab my journal, and through the lens of whatever goal I’m working toward, I think about where I’m at now, how I feel, what I think about the goal, the stories I’m telling myself, the things I think are hard, the areas I think are easy, how I’m showing up each day, etc.

For example, let’s say you want to improve your email response time at work. 

If that’s your goal, you might reflect on:

• What your current response time is
• What you think about answering emails now
• When you tend to get distracted
• What feels most challenging
• Strategies have worked for you in the past

Ask Yourself Questions

I think it’s equally important to ask yourself powerful questions to create clarity. You all know I love good questions, right? 

You can do this when journaling, or you might ask yourself a few questions and focus on them when you’re out on a walk or as you go about your day.

Thinking about your goal, you might explore questions like:

• What’s working well right now?
• What feels challenging?
• What do I need to learn, or what skills do I need to develop before reaching this goal?
• What’s in the way of getting started? what don’t I know yet?
• Who can I ask to help me move forward?
• What do I ultimately want to achieve? Why?
• What does done look like? what’s the first step in helping me get there?

I’m telling you, when you can really challenge your brain to sink into questions like this, you gain so much powerful awareness of where you’re at, where you’re going, and the steps to get you there.

And if you have a hard time sitting with those questions and finding answers on your own, this could be a great thing to work on with a coach or a therapist, depending on the topic. 

This is work I often do with my clients both in We’re Busy Being Awesome as well as my private 1:1 practice. So if this is an avenue you’re considering and you want to learn more about working with me either privately or in group, you can tap through the link in the show notes to read more about both.

Ask For Feedback

The final strategy that MIGHT be useful in helping you assess where you’re at is intentionally asking for constructive feedback from someone you know and trust. 

Now, I say MIGHT be helpful with a big asterisk because doing so can also trigger our RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and shut us down entirely. 

So, with that in mind, make sure you’re using this strategy with someone who is safe and supportive and on your team. (Not your literal work team, but on team YOU. They’re rooting for you.) 

But if you can seek constructive feedback and really intentionally separate their comments from who YOU are as a person, it can be powerful to help you see your strengths, where you shine, and where you have room for improvement.

So again, separating yourself from the work and getting honest feedback from someone you trust is one more way that can really help you create awareness of where you’re currently at.

Ultimately, gaining clarity on your current situation is a crucial first step toward achieving your goals. 

By taking the time to reflect, ask yourself questions, work with a coach or therapist, and potentially seek feedback, you can create a plan that takes into account your starting point and helps you move forward with confidence and purpose.

Step 2: Knowing Where You Are Going (With Your Goals)

This brings us to part two of the process, which is knowing specifically where you’re going.

This is so crucial when it comes to making the progress you want on your goals. 

I mean, imagine driving without any destination in mind EVER. Sure, you might enjoy the journey for a while. And in fact, it can be a great way to experience different areas of your life for different seasons. But if you have a goal or objective in mind and haven’t nailed down the specifics, this kind of wandering can leave you pretty lost and often feeling frustrated or stuck. 

Eventually, you’ll realize you’re putting in all this effort, but you’re driving around in circles, not getting anywhere.

Again, I need to stress that this isn’t inherently a problem. 

I’m not saying it’s inherently bad not to have a specific destination. In fact, I think it can be super fun to wander and explore, especially if we’re really embracing a season of exploration. 

What If We Don’t Have A Clear Goal In Mind?

If we know we want to make some shifts, and we don’t have a clear goal or destination, it can leave us directionless – literally, because the GPS can’t create directions without knowing where you’re going.

So how might this look? How would you know you’re in this situation?

Think about the current thing you’re working toward. 

• Do you know what it is specifically? 
• Do you know where you’re going? 

I often find that we tend to use quite broad sweeping statements. For example, “I just want to feel better.” 

I mean, that’s a great place to start. But that’s kind of like me saying, I know I want to go on vacation somewhere fun. What does that mean specifically? I don’t think you can type into a GPS, go somewhere fun, with a whole lot of certainty yet. 

We need to get more specific.

Or maybe you’re telling yourself, “I just want to get a lot done today.” Again, this is a great place to start., but its lack of specificity is not setting you up for success, especially if you’re anything like me. 

With a vague statement like that, regardless of what you get done, your brain will tell you it wasn’t “enough.” There are no specifics.

So, how can we clarify our goals or directions? 

I won’t go into too much detail for this category, just because I did a deep dive into goal setting not too long ago when we looked at the goal pyramid framework. 

If you notice that you aren’t giving yourself specifics of where you want to go with your goal. If we think about the GPS analogy and taking a road trip, maybe you know what state you’re driving to, but you don’t have the city or the specific address of where you’re going. 

If that’s how you feel about your current goal, I highly recommend listening to episode 186: how to use a gold pyramid. It’s super action-packed with lots of strategies for you. And it even has a workbook that walks you step by step through the process.

As a brief overview, remember that when you’re identifying the destination of your goal, make it specific. 

You can use the SMART goal acronym if you find that approach helpful. As a reminder, SMART stands for:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Time-bound

I often as myself and my clients: “What does this mean, specifically?” 

For example, if your goal is to “read more often,” ask yourself, 

• “What does that mean specifically? 
• Does it mean reading from a book? Newspaper? Does it mean fiction? Nonfiction? 
• How often is more often? Once a month? Once a year? A certain number of pages? What does it mean to you?

Similarly, you know I love the question, “What does ‘done’ look like?” Meaning how will you know when you’ve reached the goal? 

Again, this question helps clarify for your brain so you know exactly what you’re working toward. Because once you know where you are and you know specifically where you’re going, your GPS can make those step-by-step instructions. 

You can map out a plan to get you moving forward.

Step 3: Taking Action On Your Goals

This brings us to the third step, which is one that may appear so obvious on the surface, but I think it’s one that’s SO sneaky and trips us up a lot. And this is taking action.

This is moving forward on those turn-by-turn instructions. If we have a GPS set up with our exact location of where we are, and the exact location of where we want to go, but we don’t drive the car, we will not get there. 

Until we learn how to apparate magically from one location to the next, like in Harry Potter, we still need to follow those turn-by-turn instructions. Otherwise, we’ll sit in our driveway, not moving. 

The same is true for our goals. Taking action literally is the crucial step that bridges the gap between planning and achieving your goals.

As I mentioned, taking action is often easier said than done. So many of us often find ourselves stuck in the planning phase, and we keep tweaking and perfecting our plan without ever taking action on it.

This can be super hard to notice because we convince ourselves that we are still “figuring out the plan”. Or we’re “trying to decide” on what option to choose. And this may be true to a point. 

However, from what I’ve found for myself and after working with hundreds of ADHD brains, these stories are keeping us safe and sitting in the driveway. And if we slow down and get honest with ourselves, it’s often that some flavor of fear has us stuck. 

We fear that the plan won’t work, or we’ll mess it up, or we worry about what others will think. 

We worry about what WE will think about or say to ourselves it if doesn’t work. 

So rather than facing those potential outcomes, we spin, and we never actually get to see what does work. We have no idea if it’s an effective plan or not because we stay in the spin.

With this situation, I think it’s important to remember that we can’t plan for every single possible obstacle or situation that may arise. It’s just not possible. And that’s okay. 

Just like a road trip, where we’ll need to make stops for gas, food, and rest. There may be constructions or detours. When these situations arise, we can re-route and make adjustments as needed. We don’t need to have a specific plan for all of it. Yes, it’s good to plan, but we don’t need a plan for every single contingency. 

In fact, it’s often more effective in the long run to get moving and try stuff.  That’s often what I’ll tell my husband when I’m doing something new in the business. I’m just trying stuff. I think it sounds fun. Let’s give it a try. 

I’ve personally found that it’s when we’re willing to try and take those steps forward that we can finally realize what works and what doesn’t because we have real-time feedback.

Feeling Stuck In Inaction

So many of us – myself very much included here – find ourselves stuck in inaction and overplanning. 

This really Inhibits our progress in so many ways. This is where perfectionism often sneaks in. 

We think we need to create the perfect plan before we do anything. 

We tell ourselves we need to have the perfect offer or perfect niche in our business before helping people. 

We often get stuck in fear, worried that we won’t make the “right” decision about what trip to plan or job to apply to or that we may regret our decision later. 

So rather than making a decision and adjusting as needed, we instead wait and spin, which leads to no progress (and ironically, often leads to regret thinking some version of, “I wish I wouldn’t have waited so long.”)

I’m telling you, this area is so sneaky. It’s also one of the most uncomfortable. 

Taking action can ask a lot of us at times. 

We’re often asked to step outside of our comfort zones or expand our skill set, or express vulnerability, or all three at the same time. It takes a lot of courage. 

And when we’re willing to do it at a pace that challenges us but also feels safe and sustainable – not like burnout – I’m telling you, it pays off in dividends.

So, if you have a sneaking suspicion that this is you; if you’re wondering what you can do to help you move forward, here’s what I suggest:

Step into the practice of iteration. 

This means being willing to start small and try something. After that, you can assess what works, what doesn’t, and what you might try differently next time. 

The process of iteration is all about being willing to experiment with different options and approaches without being attached to a specific outcome and without beating yourself up or getting hard on yourself if things don’t go as planned. 

Instead, you celebrate yourself for being willing to try and learn from each experience.

As one of my favorite sayings goes, you’re either winning or you’re learning. That’s it. You’re winning or you’re learning. So each time you’re willing to iterate and try new things, you have that powerful opportunity to both win and learn. And if you ask me, that’s pretty awesome.

Building on this, I think it’s helpful when we combine that iterative process with setting small goals that point you toward your ultimate destination. And this concept is part of the goal pyramid guide, too. 

So again, if you haven’t listened to that episode or downloaded that workbook yet, I highly recommend doing so. 

When you break down these smaller goals, you give yourself a chance to make regular progress much more often, which helps you build that momentum and show your brain that you can absolutely do this.

And that leads me to the final suggestion that I have if you notice that you are stuck in inaction.

Trouble Taking Action On Your Goals? Ask Yourself…

Ask yourself-with love and compassion – why?

• Why aren’t we moving forward?
• What is in the way here?

Allow the stories to come up. This will highlight the beliefs you have that are keeping you stuck. 

Is your brain telling you…

• That you don’t know where to start, or people will think all these terrible things about you? 
• That you’re terrible with goal setting and you can never follow through? 
• Stories of imposter syndrome that have you doubting whether you can do it or not? 

Create some clarity on what is in the way of you moving forward. And again, if you want some additional support and guidance here, this is a great space to work with a coach as well. Especially if you notice yourself thinking, I know what to do but I’m just not doing it. 

You’re not doing it because there is something in the way. 

And when we can figure out what that is, that’s when we can both work through the mindset that’s keeping you stuck AND put in the supports that work well for you and your brain to help you move forward and create that success you want.

Ultimately, taking action is the crucial step in achieving your goals.

We need to take steps forward to figure out what works. 

Just like the GPS, it can’t reroute, it can’t make adjustments, it can’t help us get to where we’re going if we don’t move. 

If we stay in the same place, planning to move. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t move slowly. You can absolutely do that. 

I encourage you to move at a pace that feels sustainable for you but encourage your brain to set those small goals and celebrate each milestone along the way. 

And continually remind yourself that you’re either winning or you’re learning – and both are getting you toward your end goal.

Links From The Podcast

• Learn more about We’re Busy Being Awesome here
• Learn more about 1:1 coaching with Paula here
• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources here
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System here
• Get the Podcast Roadmap here
• Tune into episode 186: How to Use a Gold Pyramid
• Get your Goal Pyramid Guide here

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