How Aligning Values & Priorities Helps ADHD Brains Thrive

Let’s be real—life moves fast. And if we’re not careful, it’s easy to slip into reactive mode, responding to everything coming at us rather than slowing down to focus on what matters most.

With a tendency toward impulsivity, this reactivity is something I see time and again for those of us with ADHD (myself included!), which is why I love helping my clients align their values and priorities when we first begin working together.

During a recent session in my small group coaching program, We’re Busy Being Awesome, someone asked, “Can you explain the difference between values and priorities?”

This is such an important question—especially because we tend to use the terms interchangeably when, in reality, they’re quite different.

Here’s why knowing the difference matters:

• It allows us to make decisions that align with what truly matters
• It helps us focus our time and energy on the areas that deserve our attention

When we separate values from priorities, it becomes much easier to navigate our day-to-day choices, with confidence. This clarity ensures the way we live reflects the life we want to create.

In episode 277 of the I’m Busy Being Awesome podcast, we break this down into clear, actionable steps so you can not only understand the difference between values and priorities but also check-in and clarify your own.

You can listen to the episode above or stream it on your favorite podcasting app here.

Prefer to read? No problem! Keep scrolling for a summary of the key takeaways.

In Episode 277: You Will Discover

• The key differences between values and priorities, and why both are essential to understand when working with your ADHD.
• How to align your daily actions with your values (prioritizing based on values) to stay focused on what truly matters.
• Practical steps to clarify your own values and priorities for a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life.

This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Disclosure info here.

Episode #277: Aligning Values & Priorities Helps ADHD Brains Thrive (Transcript)

One of my clients in We’re Busy Being Awesome recently asked an important question: what’s the difference between values and priorities? As she asked her question. several people on the call nodded along, indicating that they were wondering the same thing.

And it got me thinking… these two ideas are often used interchangeably, but they’re not quite the same.

When I start working with clients, one of the first things we do is clarify both their values and their big-picture priorities. We do this early on because having a clear understanding of both helps us feel confident about how we’re spending our time and ensures we’re doing so with intention.

Often, we either don’t focus on values or priorities at all, or we zero in on one and ignore the other—like getting wrapped up in our priorities without checking if they align with what truly matters to us. Sometimes, we even use the terms interchangeably, which only adds to the confusion.

That’s why I make it a point to help my clients clearly define the difference and understand how each one shapes their life.

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So now, let’s talk about values and priorities, shall we? As we explore the nuances today, I invite you to keep one simple sentence in mind to guide us through this conversation: Values are the why, and priorities are the what.

Let’s unpack that a bit more.

What Are Values?

Values are the why. They’re the deep beliefs and guiding principles that shape who we are and how we live.

They’re often single words like:

• Connection
• Creativity
• Growth
• Adventure
• Security

…whatever is most important to you at your core.

These values reflect what matters most to you, and they provide the foundation for how you make decisions and move through life.

With that being said, I want to acknowledge that this can sound very heavy. When you think about your values, they don’t have to represent what matters most to you for your entire life.

So, if your brain is slipping into black-and-white thinking, telling you that you need to choose your values and have them guide you for the rest of your days—take a beat.

I like to think about values in seasons… Some of them may stay pretty consistent throughout your life, but others might shift, and that’s a beautiful thing. If you’re feeling that grip or heaviness thinking you need to lock in your core values forever, don’t worry—that’s not what we’re doing here.

Examples of How Values Guide Us:

Connection might be your core value right now because you’re focused on building strong relationships and community. But maybe, in another season of life, growth or adventure takes the forefront as you focus on personal development or trying new experiences.

The key is to recognize that your values can evolve, and that’s completely okay.

Let’s say connection is your value. It’s something that naturally guides your decision-making. You’ll likely seek out opportunities to build and nurture relationships because those connections are meaningful to you.

So, when you decide how to spend your time, energy, or attention, you’ll often lean toward choices that align with that value of connection.

How To Use Values in Your Day-to-Day Life

I like to think of values as an internal compass that helps us navigate decisions, especially when we’re feeling stuck. When you’re unsure about which direction to take or what decision to make, your values offer a clear way forward.

You can check in with yourself and ask,

• Does this decision align with what really matters to me?
• Does it reflect the things I care about most?

When we ensure our choices are values-aligned, we make decisions that feel more authentic, grounded, and ultimately fulfilling.

Values can also be especially helpful when we’re feeling overwhelmed or pulled in too many directions. If it seems like you’re spinning your wheels and don’t know where to start, coming back to your values can offer a clear path.

When we let our values guide us, we find ourselves making choices that not only feel good in the moment but also support the bigger picture of who we want to be and how we want to live.

What Are Priorities?

If values are the why, then priorities are the what.

They’re the specific actions, tasks, or commitments we focus on in our daily lives to live out those deeper values.

Think of priorities as the tangible, actionable steps that bring your values to life.

For example, if connection is a core value, then your priorities might include:

• Making time for friends
• Calling family regularly
• Even joining a new group to meet people

These priorities are the activities you focus on to ensure that you’re actively nurturing and building those meaningful relationships that matter to you.

How We Use Priorities:

Priorities help us clarify how we’re actually spending our time and energy each day, week, or month. They serve as a powerful tool to make sure that we’re allocating our time in a way that reflects what’s truly important to us.

I like to use priorities as a way to check in with myself regularly. When life gets busy, and I notice my brain feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to lose track of what I’m focusing on. I end up responding to the urgent stuff—the emails, the deadlines, the never-ending to-do lists—and I can quickly lose sight of what actually aligns with my values. 

However, by checking in with my priorities, I get a clear sense of whether I’m giving my time and attention to the important things for me this season. I can ask myself, ‘Is this action or task moving me closer to what I care about most?’ If the answer is yes, I know I’m on track. If not, it might be time to reassess and realign.

Here’s the thing—just like values, priorities aren’t set in stone. They can shift and adjust as our circumstances change or as we gain more clarity on what we want. What’s important is that we remain intentional with them.

When we actively set and review our priorities, we give ourselves a way to ensure that we’re showing up and using our precious time in a way that we want to.

How Values and Priorities Work Together

Values give us the compass, and priorities help us follow it.

Without knowing our values, we might find ourselves prioritizing the things that don’t actually serve the life we want to live.

It’s like setting out on a journey without a clear destination. You’re just driving around without an end location. You might be moving, you might be getting things done, but you’re not necessarily heading in the right direction, and you’re burning a lot of fuel in the process.

Without clear priorities, it’s easy to let our values fade into the background.

We might want to honor a value like connection, but unless we intentionally prioritize activities that nurture our relationships—like making time for friends or family—that value can get lost in the busyness of life.

It’s one thing to say we value connection, creativity, or health, but without setting clear priorities, those values can remain abstract ideas that don’t show up in our day-to-day choices.

👉 Values and priorities need each other. Values give us the ‘why,’ the direction we want to move toward, while priorities provide the ‘what’—the specific actions that get us there. They work in tandem to keep us aligned and focused.

Recognizing Misalignment Between Values and Priorities

If you’re feeling out of balance or overwhelmed, or if seems like you’re always doing but never quite being, that’s usually a sign that your values and priorities aren’t lining up.

It might seem like you’re constantly checking things off your list or staying busy, but deep down, you might not feel fulfilled. That’s often because the things you’re doing—the priorities you’re setting—may not actually reflect your true values.

Misalignment can show up in different ways. For example:

• You might be spending a lot of time on work tasks because you think you have to, but your core value is growth or creativity, and you’re not giving those things enough attention.
• Perhaps your value is adventure, but you’re prioritizing routine and stability because it’s familiar, even though it’s leaving you feeling stagnant.

When our values and priorities don’t align, we start to lose that sense of purpose and fulfillment. We’re busy but unsatisfied—moving, but not necessarily moving in the right direction.

This is why it’s so important to regularly check in and make sure our priorities are aligned with what we truly value.

Practical Steps to Clarify and Align Values and Priorities

Step 1: Clarify Your Values

The first step is to take some time to really reflect on what matters most to you. When I work with my clients, I take them through an entire exercise to help them identify what’s really guiding and shaping who they are and what matters most to them in this particular season.

These are your values—the foundation for how you want to live.

Some reflection questions that might help:

• What do you care about deeply?
• What brings you joy?
• When you look back on your life, what do you want it to stand for?

As a reminder, values are often single words or ideas—like connection, creativity, growth, or adventure. And as we talked about earlier, values don’t have to stay the same forever. They can evolve as you move through different seasons of your life.

The important thing is to get clear about what’s guiding you right now.

Step 2: Identify Your Big-Picture Priorities

Once you’ve clarified your values, it’s time to translate those into big-picture priorities.

These are the areas of your life that need attention to honor those values. If values are the why, priorities are the what. They represent the specific actions you focus on to ensure your values are being lived out in your day-to-day life.

Here’s a helpful way to think about it: Where are you focusing your time and energy to reflect what matters most?

Example:

• If creativity is one of your values, then your big-picture priorities might include setting aside time to write, paint, or work on a project that fulfills you creatively.
• Or if connection is a value, your priorities could involve spending quality time with friends and family or building deeper relationships with the people who matter most.

The key is to identify those major areas that will help you live in alignment with your values.

Step 3: Align Your Daily Actions with Your Values

Once your values and priorities are clear, it’s time to take action.

Each day, check in with yourself and ask:

• Am I living in alignment with what truly matters to me?
• Are my actions reflecting my values?

Life gets busy. It’s easy to get pulled into the demands of daily life or focus on tasks that don’t actually move you closer to what matters. That’s why it’s so important to intentionally align your daily actions with your values.

For example, if one of your values is adventure, maybe that means taking the time to plan experiences that challenge you or bring excitement to your life.

If your value is connection, perhaps it’s making sure you prioritize spending time with people who fill your cup, even if that’s a small check-in with a friend or planning an outing with loved ones.

Important note: I know many of us ADHD brains can quickly slip into all-or-nothing thinking. You might be worrying that you need to check off every value and priority every single day. Please hear me… that’s not what I’m saying—nor is it even feasible. This is not about perfection. It’s about using your values and priorities as a guide.

Check-in often, but don’t let it become another thing on your to-do list. It’s about moving in the right direction, not hitting every single marker all the time.

Think of it as a flexible framework. Some days, you’ll be more focused on one priority than another, and that’s okay. What matters is that, over time, your choices and actions are in alignment with what’s truly important to you.

If you feel out of sync with your values and priorities right now…

Or you’re ready to finally get clear on what truly matters to you this season, I would love to help you do so.

Whether you’re listening to this episode in real-time as we head into the busy holiday season (or you’re catching it at any other time of year, frankly,) this is your moment to pause and reflect.

You don’t need me to remind you that life is constantly moving, and it’s so easy to get swept up in the busyness of it all as time passes by.

And we never slow down to ask ourselves:

• Am I living in alignment with what matters most to me?
• Heck – what DOES matter most to me?
• Do I even know?

So many of us have no idea! 

We’ve been taking care of everyone else’s needs, requests, and desires for so long that we’ve never paused to clarify for ourselves:

• What matters most to me this season?
• Who do I want to be in this season?

You deserve to know this about yourself.

👉 Real talk: Waiting for the “perfect time” to get started, when “things slow down,” or once you “finally get organized,” is often front-end perfectionism preventing you from beginning the journey of living in alignment with yourself and what matters most. 

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. And I genuinely believe we know in our core when it’s truly not a good time versus when it feels uncomfortable to step out of what’s familiar and slow down to reflect. Clarity doesn’t just happen by chance—it comes from intentional reflection and then taking action on what we discover.

Realigning for the Holidays (Or any time of the Year)

With the end of the year approaching, what better time to reflect on all that you’ve done and experienced, and where you want to go next?

If you’re listening in real-time, this is an opportunity to step back as the holidays approach and set yourself up for the coming season and the new year in a way that’s aligned and intentional with what matters most to you.

And if you’re catching this episode in the middle of May, the message still stands. As I mentioned back in episode 271, one of my favorite sayings is: The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second best time is today.

What if we started now? When we’re willing to slow down and clarify our values and priorities, that’s when we start living that fulfilling life we’ve been seeking.

Ready To Dive Deeper?

If you’re ready to work together and take a dive deep into clarifying your values and priorities with support for your ADHD brain, let’s talk. learn more about my small group coaching or my one-on-one coaching sessions.

When we work together, we’ll not only get crystal clear on what guides you but also build your personalized ADHD toolkit to ensure you live in alignment with your values and priorities each day, and doing so in a way that genuinely works for your brain..

Alright my friends, that’s going to do it for us this week.

👉 Don’t forget – if you want to streamline your holidays and focus on what matters most to you and your loved ones this season, be sure to grab my holiday season blueprint HERE! It’s packed with over 70 pages of resources and guides so you can shape the season to work best for YOU. 

Also, do you know someone who would love to learn more about working with their values and priorities?  If so, would you be a rockstar and share this episode with them? Here’s how you can share:

• Send a text message or email with this link: https://imbusybeingawesome.com/values-priorities-adhd
• Snap a screenshot of the episode and share it on your Instagram stories

Whatever you do, please know that I so appreciate you for both tuning in and for helping me get these strategies to even more busy awesome brains who need them. 

 Until next time, keep being awesome. I’ll talk with you soon.

Links From The Podcast

• Get the Holiday Season Blueprint here
• Learn more about both 1:1 and small group coaching with Paula here 
• Get the top 10 tips to work with your ADHD brain (free ebook!)
• Discover my favorite ADHD resources here
• Get the I’m Busy Being Awesome Planning System here
• Get the Podcast Roadmap here
• Get the ADHD Routine Revamp here

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